Written by Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
Ranya Alhusaini is a mindset transformation guru. Besides, she is a Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner and NLP. Ranya dug her way through self-discovery, curiosity and knowledge.
What is jealousy? Is it normal to feel jealous? Where in your body you feel the fiery feelings of jealousy? What is it like to be a jealous person? Explain jealousy in one word. Can jealousy signify emotional health? What beliefs made you consider jealousy? What makes you feel jealous? Can jealousy signify you are lacking a growth mindset? State down your reasons for being jealous. Is it possible not to feel jealous?
We are all human- hence, a hint of jealousy can be a flickering signal to an immediate check. Jealousy starts with comparison. Common symptoms of jealousy include resentment, frustration, impatience, anger, and general unpleasantness.
Therefore, in today’s article, we demonstrate different aspects of jealousy and how strategically questioning jealousy can transmute you safely into a stable ground of self-worth.
What does jealousy stand for?
An intense, aggressive state of burning feelings brewing with anger, frustration, flustered admiration, resentment, and bitterness toward someone having something you don’t. The overwhelming feelings can pile up and overburden the subconscious mind due to hard-felt experiences, leaving a bad mouth sour. Every person has their unique reason behind a jealous response. On a blind spot- your subconscious mind's main mission is defending you through prioritising, punishing, or protecting your stand to the world.
What can jealousy signify to?
The painful memory from a repetitive parental absence, emotional voidness, and avoidance can severely turn into an outburst of depression, obsessive, possessive anger, and frustration. Thoughts are born before feelings, repeatedly surging down a continuous path for its auto-response occurrence. The justification to any jealous remarks could signify what the person is personally feeling at a given moment of their life. The root of jealousy is formed due to a personal history of painful feelings caused by a mother or a parental figure. People are very cautious and subtle while showing some signs of jealousy, and this is where the main story resides. The basic reason behind jealousy can be rooted in a traumatized incident where the person had to suffer loneliness, abandonment, comparison, or even scarcity. In the search for reality, jealousy is the superficial symptom of a shocking, unexpected incident. Jealousy is the complication of the over-burning scenarios in your unconscious realm. However, a mother can raise her children in an austere manner, depriving them of emotional support and proper parental presence.
Selfish/Narcissist mother may leave jealous remarks on their children’s memories as she abuses her power over them. In a vivid scenario, a narcissistic mother may treat her children as an extension of her own being. A child can be obliged to follow their mother’s instructions severely to maintain peace with her. Another sign of a narcissistic mother can play her own children against each other- she uses her power to turn them against each other by infusing jealousy, competition, and comparison between them. At this corner, a mother may start practicing favoritism, harsh labeling, and preference-picking amongst her children. Narcissistic mothers competitively play against their children, and a child can never outshine their mother. What you raise your children on can personify a personality trait!
Why does jealousy conflict with self-worth in a healthy personality?
What happens when jealousy is left unattended? Jealousy stems from a complex scenario, branching from insecurities magnified through resentment, anger, violence, grudge, and fear. When you start feeling jealousy at some point or another, it is an alarming signal of what has been brewing for quite some time. Deep questioning those fiery feelings can take you under the radar of what you were pre-conditioned on. For jealousy to flow back into your mental thought – today’s scenario has to trigger yesterday’s feelings, running a cycle of plots inside your mind. Jealousy can find a space inside your psyche if a void is disturbingly common. A strong sense of self-worth can never leave a space for jealousy. However, when jealousy plays its dominant role, self-worth escapes the scene due to its weak stand.
What factors contributing to jealousy?
Jealousy is often rooted deep within yesterday’s dark corners. The inadequate feeling from losing something to someone else or constantly comparing yourself to everyone else is shaking off your significant role as a unique being. Below is a closer look at its contributing factors:
Comparing yourself to someone else’s journey
Being raised in a comparative, competitive environment can teach the child to compete and compare aggressively to win in life. Leading your whole life scenario in comparison may form a cultural pressure emphasizing inhumane – aggressive competition and comparison. When comparison was a dominant part of raising you, you were always taught to have another eye into what others have and run a wild comparison as you survive within the community.
Clinging into loved ones and the fear of losing them
Jealousy is commonly tied to the fear of losing any matter of life, such as love, status, or opportunities. The universe then can start sending you prospective threats on any shape or form to threaten your throne. The severity of jealousy can attract more negative consequences from this belief. Your brain may react with jealousy as a protection mechanism, alerting you of potential "loss."
Insecurity and low self-esteem
People who struggle with self-worth or confidence are more susceptible to jealousy because they tend to feel less secure in their skin. Insecurity can magnify the perception that others have something "better". It is also an implication of a strong belief of not being enough!
The misplaced influence
In some contexts, jealousy can act as a survival mechanism or a protective shield against societal intrusion or ensure proper loyalty and support in close relationships. However, this protective instinct can become misplaced in modern days as you trespass on boundaries of trust, respect, and safety with your partner.
The effect of yesterday
Your Personal history can shape how you experience and respond to jealousy. Those who have experienced betrayal or rejection may be more sensitive to it. However, a painful historical event can be a contributing factor to a heightened awareness of possible threats. Repeated patterns of negative experiences can lead people to see jealousy as a natural response to competition in relationships.
The dilemma from social and cultural influence
The media often promote ideals around success, beauty, wealth, and love, fuelling the idea of jealousy by reinforcing constant competition for resources, attention, or love.
What are the signs of being jealous?
The flames from jealousy sometimes run so high at an instance of a second. However, every little aspect of how you feel is starting with an idea or a memory. Raising self-awareness at this moment is critical as you drive safely with the hot flames of your feelings. Sometimes, chronic jealousy exhibits severe symptoms inside you in the form of a dark memory. Unattended feelings can cause an outburst of violence. The below-listed symptoms speak volumes of what has been hidden in your subconscious mind, critically challenging your understanding of the following symptoms:
Not being happy with other’s success and recognition
Belittling other’s success and accomplishments by dropping sarcastic comments
Negatively criticizing others
Being happy when others face setback and failure
Aggressively competing with others
Blind copying of other’s behaviour, attitude, and styles
Giving misguided advice to others
Overemphasizing your presence, accomplishments, or validation
How subtle jealousy remarks can shake your self-worth?
Subtle remarks of jealousy can elaborate on the depth of hurtful, repetitive stories inside the mind. An unexpectedly jealous comment may come from a partner or a close friend. The main trigger point of a jealous remark can be fear. For fear to form its skeleton, one negative thought has to repeatedly avail its dominance inside your mind. However, receiving jealous remarks from your circle can significantly damage your self-worth. With time, you lose a worthy part of you due to the intensive toxicity of your memory.
What are the six strategic questions turning jealousy into a deep journey to self-worth?
Choosing to reframe a painful memory can level up your experiences in life. When jealousy is all about feeling insecure, unstable or not enough, and ugly – your experience can interpret the side of the story into your own truth. How you perceive matters is a unique perspective based on your upbringing conditions. Reframing negative feelings can assist in reducing the stress and anxiety level. Mindset transformation is about interrogating the internal autopilot dialogues that run itself at a repetitive instance. Below are a few strategic questions challenging the dark corners of jealousy:
1. What is triggering anger inside you?
Remember, explaining the deep root of anger can have different implications for your perception of life. What angers you, can mean something else to another person. Tracing down past events, feelings and meanings can teach you something about how you relate to life. Another important question here is to define jealousy by writing down all the words that resemble jealousy. Rewinding back scenarios as you write down your perceptions can clarify more about your repetitive subconscious stories and knowledge reserve. Another important question: how do you perceive jealousy? Digging deep can take you further in your understanding and how you interact with the world
2. What were your childhood’s unmet needs?
Jealousy could be an implication of how far you have survived, believing your needs were not important to your parents. A strong belief caught during childhood can speak to how your parent’s communication is perceived by you. Important aspects of your daily life can speak the depth of these unmet needs, such as the workplace – check your feelings when your boss comments on your colleague’s work. What does that do to you? What do you feel? Do you feel angry, frustrated, or at peace? What is your body language? How do your facial expressions turn out to be? What one word do you hear your mind repeating? Another place is your close relationship/s. Check your feelings when your close friend, partner, spouse, or even family member admires or gets closer to someone else. At this corner of your feelings – watch yourself translating down your feelings into behaviours, words, and reactions. What makes you feel so hurt at a given competitive interaction? Your role here – is to maintain the harmony between your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
3. What is painful about jealousy?
At this stage, explain your feelings exactly. What makes you feel the pain? What’s this pain reminding you of? Is it about how you perceive yourself? Or how jealousy makes you vulnerable? is this pain related to the depth of your loneliness, or simply signifying how your mother never loved you.
4. How would you react after a breakup?
Especially when you don’t ask for it? What is one word you keep repeating as you digest breakups? What does your feelings are pulling you toward? Do you relate anything from your past to the current breakup?
5. What is your feeling when you are being cheated on?
What stories do you keep repeating in your mind? How do you speak to yourself? What do you feel? How do you react? And what other unconscious reactions you move toward? How far your intense feelings dictate your unconscious behaviours?
6. What past stories remind you of jealousy?
Explain exactly to yourself how you perceived your feelings at that situation. Clarify more on the feeling – was jealousy accompanying fear, ugliness, or inadequacy? Do you remember your mother comparing you to someone? What was your feeling then? What was your response? What was your mother’s response? How did you perceive it? What were your thoughts or what beliefs have you built from that incident?
Ready to mindset transform your perspective – hop in for a mindset transformation session to flip jealousy into self-worth: Turn the pain from jealousy into self-worth – all you have to do is to understand that mindset transformation won’t happen without your own acknowledgement. Your willingness to shift your perspective is your choice. Develop a creative aspect to your curiosity and progress through life. If you are interested, I invite you to understand every little aspect about the session through a free discovery call – WhatsApp me now 00971566935858.
Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
This is Ranya AlHusaini – a mindset transformation guru. My mission is to motivate professional women to unlock their self-worth and live a balanced life. With so much curiosity, and self-awareness I have developed my way with strength and determination. My expertise was well maintained as I took years to understand and develop my own through different modalities, and from there I understood human's nature and reaction. The modalities I use and consult throughout the session are NLP, Rapid transformation Therapy technique, and Hypnosis. So if you want a switch, or a makeover in your life hop in for a mindset transformation session! I have attached a photo of myself as well!
