Written by: Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
If anything positive came out of this pandemic, it is the movement toward intentional dating. Yes, it’s no secret that I am a major advocate of this, although it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. According to research, the recent trend has people slowing down their approach when it comes to swiping left or right on dating apps and taking the time to reflect on what they truly want from a relationship and the qualities in a partner. In my opinion, transforming the way we date in this matter could potentially help us navigate our dating life more consciously, so we are less likely to make choices that keep us stuck in a one-sided relationship or in the ambiguity of a “situationship” where both or one of the parties does not know where something is headed.
What is intentional dating?
Intentional dating is basically being more reflective and mindful when it comes to choosing who you want to date, why you want to be in a relationship, and what core factors would be important for you to have in a relationship. It emphasizes quality over quantity and real connections over superficial ones. In my first article, “Four Tips to Gaining Clarity and Empowering Your Mindset In Dating”, I cover more in detail how to be intentional when it comes to dating and relationships, so feel free to have a quick read if that interests you.
According to a 2021 study by Match where 5,000 single people were surveyed, “53 percent of app daters were prioritizing getting into a relationship more than before the pandemic, 53 percent were rethinking what qualities they looked for in a potential match, nearly 70 percent were being more honest with potential partners, and 44 percent were engaging in more meaningful dialogue with matches.”[1] Based on this trend, it may be safe to say that we are moving away from the typical “hookup” dating app culture towards one that is more intentional and connection-oriented.
How can intentional dating help lead to less ambiguous outcomes in relationships?
Being intentional through your dating journey not only means having clarity on what is important to you in terms of values and needs, but also communicating more openly and honestly, and being curious about the other. One of the most common reasons some of us wind up in “situationships” is because of unclear communication. We hold back from expressing what is on our minds for various reasons such as fear of what may result if we speak our hearts. For example, if we are looking for commitment leading to a long-lasting relationship or marriage, we may tend to tiptoe around having the conversation or not bring it up at all, which leads to being taken along for a ride for even longer. Therefore, being intentional with one another and openly communicating about what we are looking for at a certain point in our life is important.
Another reason we wind up in ambiguous situations is that sometimes we fail to assess compatibility early on and wait until we have already formed strong emotional bonds with someone. At that point not only is it harder to disengage from the relationship, but we feel regret over the invested energy and time that has gone to waste. And time, as we all know, is our most precious asset - once it’s gone it doesn’t come back. So, part of dating intentionally is also assessing compatibility earlier, especially when it comes to values, way of life, and future vision, so that we may make some important choices sooner rather than later.
Final Words
Intentional dating could be a step leading us closer to the type of quality relationships we want. Knowing our “why” behind wanting to be in a relationship, knowing our core values and needs, and having some idea or clarity on our long-term vision can help us carefully pick the person that is the right match for us. In addition, maintaining curiosity about each other and open communication will help to clarify any assumptions or unspoken expectations. Of course, nothing in the course of human relationships is clear cut and life does bring forth many complexities, but for the most part, it’s a great step to help simplify things a bit better.
If for any reason you have trouble communicating your needs due to self-esteem or self-worth issues, it is wise to seek the help of a therapist or a coach that can help you accordingly. If you are single and looking to date or are currently dating, I encourage you to download a complimentary gift I have created for you as a coach called “Discover Your Dating Language Workbook” that will help you date more consciously and intentionally.
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Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Preeti Mistry is a Jay Shetty Certified Coach who focuses on single, young professionals and entrepreneurs who want to be in a healthy, meaningful, and lasting relationship. Through her 1:1 coaching service, she helps them uncover and overcome their hidden inner resistance to finding love so that they feel empowered to put their best self forward and can dare to create the love life they desire. Her chosen niche as a relationship mindset transformation coach was inspired by her own struggles in this area and by noticing that this was a common problem that plagued many she knew as well. After her own transformational journey of overcoming limiting beliefs and aligning better with her true authentic self, Preeti is on a mission to help and empower those that truly want to be in a relationship to break out of a rut, and unleash their best self in love. Preeti has had the opportunity and privilege of participating on a panel hosted by the American India Foundation SF as a relationship mindset transformation coach with the crew of the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. She has also appeared as a guest on various podcasts talking about topics related to mindset, dating, relationships, spirituality, and manifestation. In addition, she is the founder of the Relationship Mindset club on Clubhouse which offers tremendous value and is continuing to grow. Preeti is also a general dentist, and loves to paint, travel, dance, and spend time in nature. Preeti’s purpose and vision are to help create a world where we focus more on our possibilities instead of our impossibilities so that we are more in tune with creating a life that is aligned with our deepest desires and can experience the joy and fulfillment we are meant to in this life.
Reference:
Roth, Elaine, “Since The Pandemic, More People Are Focusing On ‘Intentional Dating’,” Scary Mommy, November 5, 2021, https://www.scarymommy.com/intentional-dating-culture-shift.
