Written by Drake Kirkwood, Mental Performance Coach
Drake Kirkwood is a mental performance coach who specializes in brain health, psychology, and mindset. After playing collegiate baseball and voyaging into entrepreneurship, Drake has spent his life leveling up his own mental game.
Do you ever feel like you’re going through the motions in life? Or maybe instead of playing to win, you’re playing not to lose a timid, passive player in the wealthiest, most abundant time in history? Memento Mori, meaning ‘remember you must die,’ is a reminder you desperately need in the 21st century. Meditating on mortality is a timeless practice used to ignite the fire within to help you lead an intentional and purposeful life. Throughout this article, I’ll share the many benefits of this practice, including clarity of mind, revived urgency, and increased gratitude, and offer why meditating on mortality isn’t morbid but the key to living fully.
The power of facing mortality
Let’s get the ball rolling with a quote from Alan Watts: “When you have accepted your own death in the midst of life, it means that you’ve let go of yourself, and you are therefore free.”
How does that resonate with you?
The power of facing mortality is grounded in the concept that once you let go of the need to preserve your mind, body, and soul, you can experience what life offers you because you are no longer consumed with merely surviving.
What if contemplating death was the key to genuinely living?
I’ll make one more suggestion before we dive in. If you do not love the idea of who you are and what your life has to offer every day (or at least a large chunk of each day), then you are wasting your life.
Imagine enjoying each day simply for what it is instead of clinging to wants, worries, and desires. Imagine breaking free from your past and opening your heart to the world.
Accepting your mortality will free up many benefits, such as clarity of mind, a rekindled child-like wonder, and a profound purpose.
Let's dive in!
It's time to wake up: The spark you've been looking for
Many people are sleepwalking through life in the 21st century, going through the motions without a sense of excitement or purpose. Why has this become our default mode? Have we forgotten something?
Part of the reason is that with comfort and safety comes complacency and stagnation, which is the opposite of what it means to be alive. It’s hard to appreciate things you don't have to work for, right?
Facing death allows you to evaluate what truly matters. Once you understand how quickly your life will pass, you can determine how you want to spend your precious time and energy. This realization will bring clarity of mind and a sense of urgency to get moving.
Alex Hormozi thinks about death all the time. He claims it influences his view of time, his sense of agency, and what actions he’s willing to take despite others' judgment.
When was the last time you felt free to do something at the expense of others judging you for it?
Ryan Holiday also meditates on death. He suggests it puts everything in perspective; it doesn’t make things meaningless; it makes them meaningful.
Consider two buckets: Bucket A is full of choices and actions that don’t matter to you, and Bucket B is full of choices and actions that matter to you. Which bucket are you in the habit of pulling from?
If you procrastinate, lack purpose, or are easily distracted, you pull more from Bucket A. You are investing your time and energy into things that do not matter to you, and as a result, you are wasting your life.
Let's start honing the skill of saying no to the trivial many and yes to the precious few.
A timeless practice: This idea is nothing new
Why has modern society become disconnected from this wisdom?
Over the last few hundred years, we've gotten comfortable. Easy access to food and shelter, advanced technology, and the world’s information in our pockets have made it easy to lose ourselves.
Let’s briefly explore humanity's history of life and death.
Summer, one of the world’s first civilizations (~4500 B.C.), portrays the idea of rebirth in the story of Innana’s descent to the underworld, where she remains dead for 3 days and nights. Enki, the God of Wisdom, infuses life into Innana, where she emerges from the underworld and becomes a symbol of the renewal of life.
Later, in Egypt (~3100 B.C.), the story of Set betraying his beloved brother, Osiris, clearly depicts the cycle of life and death. In an attempt to gain the throne, Set kills his brother and disperses fragments of his body all over Egypt. Isis, Osiris's devoted wife, finds the parts of Osiris and breathes life back into him with the help of other gods. This story is closely linked to the Nile River's cyclical flooding at the time, which renewed Egypt's lands each year.
Moving along to Ancient Greece (~700 B.C.), Hades’ abduction of Persephone leaves her mother, Demeter, in intense grief. Her grief is so strong that it halts the growth of the land's crops and brings about a famine. A compromise involves Persephone visiting her Mother during springtime so crops may be harvested and spending the rest of the time in the underworld with Hades during the bitterness of Winter.
Christianity has the most popular story exemplified through Jesus Christ and His resurrection.
We can identify this theme in our modern cinema and books, too.
Gandalf the Grey becomes Gandalf the White, returning stronger and wiser so he may complete his task of helping save Middle Earth from Sauron.
Jon Snow resurrects and returns with greater power and knowledge, which aids him in leading his people against the Army of the Dead.
Daenerys, a shy girl, becomes a formidable queen only after surviving a fire alongside the birth of her dragons.
What do all of the stories have in common? The individual returns stronger and wiser after death, more capable of achieving a greater purpose.
Don't worry; you and I mustn't pass through fire and death to get stronger and wiser!
There is an easier way.
All we need to do is commit to an ego-death experience, which we’ll discuss next.
How to meditate on your mortality
The concept here is simple: You want to imagine the finality of death so you can connect with the abundance of life.
The ego is the selfish mechanism of the mind. It’s all about me, me, me very childlike. All your ego cares about is self-preservation; it wants to survive, and it will do so at any cost, even if that means turning to things like drugs and alcohol to avoid uncomfortable truths.
4 practical methods you can explore for an ego-death experience
1. Guided imagery: Begin with the end in mind
Imagine you are attending your own funeral far into the future. Your family and friends are there to celebrate your life, and you hear them talk about the person you were, your contributions, and your most significant achievements.
What do you want them to say about you?
What memories do you want them to have of you?
2. Memento mori journaling: Write about death
You experience death every moment, every day. Write about some examples you see in nature, like the change of seasons, or within your lifestyle, like what your last meal was.
Explore your discomfort with death. It’s natural to be afraid of death, but have you ever considered why? What are you actually scared of? Is there a chance it has less to do with death and more with life?
3. Daily reminders: Use symbols, quotes, or rituals
Carry around a picture of someone you loved who has passed on. Let that loved one be a symbol to make the most of your time.
Use Memento Mori as a quote or mantra to remind your ego of the fragility of life. Deploy this when you’re stuck in traffic or just three-putted for bogey.
Develop a ritual, like a meditation practice, after you wake up to remind yourself that you get to experience another day.
4. Stare at a wall: Starve your ego
This exercise, inspired by Dr. K., is my favorite. It’s as simple (and boring) as it sounds.
All you will do is stare at a wall for 30 to 60 minutes.
Your ego will go wild with boredom, but after about 10 minutes, your mind will settle down, and all of “your stuff” will come oozing out. It is an excellent mental and emotional detox that cleanses the ego.
Let me emphasize that these aren’t morbid practices; they are about clarity and intentional living.
The more you value and appreciate your mortality, the more you will cherish and honor your life.
The benefits of dying before you die
Increased presence
Instead of being caught in your head, you’ll start noticing that life is brimming all around you, even in the simplest moments.
You may notice the warmth of your furnace kicking in on a cold winter day.
Or the sound of your kids laughing as they play outside.
You may hear birds singing, leaves rustling in the wind, or the background noise of incessant traffic you’re not stuck in.
More happiness
Instead of delaying happiness, you’ll start looking for it. Imagine what you could do if you felt happy most of the time.
Enhanced decision-making
You’ll be so clear on what you want from life that you’ll start making choices based on meaning rather than fear. Instead of merely surviving, you’ll find a way to thrive.
Reduced anxiety
Acceptance of death reduces the fear of the unknown.
If there’s nothing to save, i.e., your ego, then there is nothing to fear losing.
The less you cling to survival, the more you’ll open yourself to the unknown, where the magic lies.
Stronger relationships
Imagine having a deeper appreciation for time with loved ones. How would you change how you speak to your friends or serve your family?
Just momentarily visualize that the person you love the most had one year to live. Would you not cherish every moment with that person?
Conclusion: Live with intention
Let’s recap what Memento Mori is all about.
First, Memento Mori is a Latin phrase from Roman tradition that means “Remember you must die.”
Facing mortality isn’t about fear but freedom. The more you appreciate death, the more you will understand life.
I encourage you to start small with one practice today. Try one of the four mortality meditation exercises above.
Lastly, I’ll challenge you to answer this question from Jim Collins's excellent book Good to Great: If you had $200M and five years to live, how would you spend your time?
We are all living on borrowed time, friend.
Let’s take advantage of the time given to us.
A final word
If you've made it this far, let me give you a virtual high-five; you’re a beauty.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article.
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Drake Kirkwood, Mental Performance Coach
Drake Kirkwood is a mental performance coach who specializes in brain health, psychology, and mindset. After playing collegiate baseball and voyaging into entrepreneurship, Drake has spent his life leveling up his own mental game. He believes that everyone has the potential to win in life by harnessing the power of their mind through psychology and mindset. He is a young and energetic entrepreneur on a mission to empower high performers with the skills and wisdom to master their minds and master their lives.
