Written by: Dr. Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Addiction is a disease that can cause someone to lose complete control over their life. Drugs, alcohol and even behavioural addictions such as video games and gambling can take over all aspects of a person's day-to-day life if left unchecked. Those addicted usually know their behaviour negatively affects their lives, but they cannot stop. The overall effect of addiction on family members is substantial. Family members of the addicts may also suffer from depression and stress from observing, living with, and coping with the addict's behaviour.
So let me shed some light on the way addiction impacts family members and suggest what you can do to manage it:
1. Financial Impact
Many people experiencing addiction have few financial resources due to their need to fund their habits. If they have money, they will often feel compelled to spend it on their addiction, such as drugs or alcohol, instead of paying bills or buying food for their family. In addition, some families feel obligated to support them financially because the addict cannot find work or make enough money to help themselves. As a result, they may steal from family members or use credit cards without permission. When an addict is stealing, they are in survival mode. This means that any possible remorseful thoughts they may have had of their wrongdoings are 'gone out the window.'
2. Emotional Impact
Family members experience a host of emotions when dealing with an addicted loved one. Anger is a common reaction because addicted people make irresponsible decisions that hurt others and cause conflict within the family. In addition, addicts may be verbally abusive toward family members and blame them for their problems or situation when things go wrong (e.g., being fired from a job). Family members may feel ashamed because they don't know how to help their loved ones or know what will happen if nothing changes with their behaviour patterns or lifestyle choices. Therefore, organising an intervention where family and friends come together to support the addict is essential. Take control and reassess the financial connections you hold. First, observe if there is a joint account and see how they are accessing it. Second, do not accommodate their desires for financial gain; if necessary, report any serious incidents or crimes to the authorities (I know this is the most challenging decision), especially if all other avenues have been exhausted, but it is the most likely one that will steer the addict into seeking appropriate professional help. Also, suggesting strategies to help resolve the issue through treatment and/or therapy is the most effective process for changing the behaviour of an addict.
3. Stress and Anxiety
Addiction can cause stress and anxiety for everyone involved. It's stressful for family members to watch a loved one use drugs or alcohol or live with someone who allows their addiction to control their lifestyle choices. Family members and friends may fear for their loved one's safety, for example, worry about how the habit will affect their future or be terrified that it could happen to them someday. For the addict and loved ones, anxiety may also be caused by other things in their lives like financial problems, depression, or other mental health issues. These stressors can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, and trouble sleeping. Therefore, it is vital to have honest discussions with those involved, family and friends, and seek professional support.
4. Relationship Problems
Addictions can cause relationship problems between family members because they often blame each other for their situation. Addicts lie, manipulate, can be abusive, shift blame, and can spiral into depression. For example, parents might blame each other for not being able to keep the house clean because of their child's addiction. Siblings may fight over who has more responsibility for taking care of their addicted parent; people with different views on how to deal with an addiction might argue over what works best or even break off contact entirely due to conflict over how to handle things at home. This kind of conflict can cause stress, anxiety, feelings of guilt, and anger that can impact everyone's physical health. Therefore, it is essential to stop enabling the addict. Giving support and remembering, for instance, getting sober for the addict is not as hard as staying sober. The process is long, so you must ensure you are not enabling the addict by being consciously aware of the availability and accessibility.
Tips on how to cope with someone experiencing addiction:
It is challenging to deal with another person's addiction and can be exhausting. However, one of the best ways to cope is to understand what the addict is going through. Empathy, whether it's for yourself or others, is critical. This will allow you to be more patient, respectful, and understanding of the person you care about most. And it is okay to think about how you feel about the situation. Being self-aware is always a healthy option.
Another important tip here is not to have expectations but to be alert. If you see concerning changes in behavioural patterns, intervene because an addict can quickly spiral into a dark space in their mind that will negatively impact their entire well-being. Also, some addicts are high-functioning; for example, they may go to work as usual and attend events but drink accessively, so be alert.
It can help you to observe and be better prepared to know how to be there for your loved ones when they are in need. Support them once they're ready to get help, such as obtaining professional services or organising an intervention, as this will assist you in understanding what you all are going through.
When trying to stop, an addict goes through a period of shock, denial, anger, and even more feelings of wonder. However, it is possible to minimise the ill effects of addictions, particularly the 'wonder' of continuing to gain a personal 'high.' Ultimately, addiction doesn't have to control the life of an addict or yourself, but it needs to be understood.
Please seek professional help. It's so important to work with a group of people that have had similar experiences or to seek the services of a therapist.
Dr. Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Belynder Walia is a leading Psychotherapist, who helps people who need a swift, effective solution to a current problem that negatively impacts their lives. She's worked with a wide variety of people, from stay-at-home carers to experts and celebrities in the public eye. Having suffered from Perinatal Anxiety, she focuses on enabling others to learn, heal and grow from pain. Belynder is the founder of Serene Lifestyles, an online and on-set psychotherapy practice at www.serenelifestyles.com. Her ground-breaking methods include a combination of Psychotherapy and Neuroplasticity to help align the THREE Brains (the head, heart, and gut). She's in many publications, including Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Harpers Bazaar, The Moment, Planet Mindful, and Thrive Global. She’s featured on the front cover of Passion Vista as one of the women to look up to 2022. Belynder is also writing her first non-fiction book, to help people radically change their minds to change their lives.
