Written by: Sarah Tricker Alchemy, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is a saying we hear many times “You have to love yourself before you can truly love another,” and this brings up a lot of emotion for many people, understandably!
Do we have to love ourselves? How do we know we love ourselves? How do we actually love ourselves? I believe to be some fundamental questions that the majority of people do not even like to look at, yet alone answer.
Our self-love obviously comes from our experiences as children. The primary relationship we had with our mother as a baby, and then subsequently our parents, if we were fortunate enough to have both in our life. Then moving to the experiences that we had as children outside the home.
I want you to know right here and now whatever you experienced as a child was not your fault! Think of the stories that were created from that five-year-old child for you to make sense of the world and the things that may have been happening in your life. You may have carried that same story for the rest of your life. Now, that story creates a fracture as it doesn’t fit into your beliefs about yourself. This may be where you now self sabotage your life to fit that story that you were told as a child.
Every human being that is born into this world is worthy of love and happiness!
How do we break free from the stories we created as children and learn to love ourselves unconditionally?
Here are some steps to begin the process:
1. Fill your life with gratitude
If we are not thankful for what we currently have in our life we will not receive more. The things we do not have gratitude for will leave us. One of the easiest things we can shift in our life is the focus from what we do not have to what we do! It makes so much sense and still we are constantly bombarded with images that create a sense of envy of those who have more than us. Start writing your gratitude journal every day and pay attention to the things you do have!
2. Choose your words carefully
Begin to take note of how you use your words when talking about yourself. Not only out loud also in your mind! It is not until we slow down and start to listen that we may notice that those words are not actually our own they are the words of those around us. Change the words to positive ones even if you don’t believe them, over time they will replace the bad thoughts and words! This isn’t an easy task as there are steps you have to take. Begin by noticing the words you use about yourself. Then, pay attention to are the words your words or others? Finally, chip away at replacing negative words with positive. Over time you will notice that your work will pay off and that you will think about yourself more positively.
3. Nourish yourself
Do you care for your body or do you consciously or subconsciously punish yourself with the way you nourish yourself? Interestingly, both the words you use towards yourself and what you choose to put, or not put into your body, is the same. Begin to see how the choices are affecting your body, are the good or bad? Remember, this is not to judge yourself only to become aware so you may choose something different! We live in a face paced world where most people don’t get time to cook nourishing meals, may not be able to afford it, or lack the skills to cook. At the end of a grueling work day most people opt for convenience and just want to get home and tap out. Let’s be honest it is hard to find nourishing takeout meals. It may be time to learn how to cook, meal prep, and find the joy in preparing foods for yourself.
4. Imagine a better you
As humans we are a working progress, not one human on this earth is perfect! Do yourself a favour and don’t expect to be. As you look back learn not to judge your past decisions with the knowledge you hold now! You did not hold that knowledge then. The same goes for the now and your future. As you gain new knowledge you do things a different way. Sometimes that will work and sometimes not. Look at today and everyday forward as creating a better version of you! Honestly, it's quite the human trait to think that we hold all the answers that we need and actually know what the future is going to look like. Know that each decision you make takes you closer to your destination. However, it is not about the destination it is all about the journey we walk!
5. Believe in you!
The one thing that no one in this world has control of is your thoughts. It doesn’t matter what the government, your parents, teachers, family, friends, colleagues, etc., say you have autonomy over your own thoughts! Right here, right now, take control over your thoughts. Allow the words that have been used against you to fall away and create a new thought pattern, the pattern that you believe in you! That you love you! That you are worthy of your own love! That you are worthy! The brain is a muscle and like every other part in your body it needs to be used and exercised. It too will take the easy route and stay where its comfortable even if that is negative self-doubt thinking.
If you are looking for a spiritual life coach to help guide you on your journey of aligning mind, body, and soul please connect with Sarah today.
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Sarah Tricker Alchemy, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sarah Tricker Alchemy is a change-maker and has the ability to see what lies in the unseen and unexplained. After realizing her dream to become an educator, Sarah soon understood she herself was not fulfilling her life purpose. In 2016 she began the journey of entrepreneurship and had been forging her way to true authenticity. Sarah is a Public Speaker & Spiritual Empowerment Coach helping women who are in transition within their life. With her gift as a healer, she facilitates women in finding their authentic selves as well as their life purpose. Every moment is a miracle, and there is always opportunity even when you cannot see it.
