Written by: Tamar Medford, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Every Monday I would wake up feeling like the only reason I had to get out of bed was for a paycheque. I never slept all that great on Sunday evening because I was filled with anxiety thinking about the week ahead. I knew that if the coming week was anything like the previous, it would be filled with stress, angry customers, and co-workers with low morale. The sad part was that I had a pretty great career, which I worked hard for and I felt as though I should just be grateful. Yet I continued to feel as though I was settling for a life that I was not meant to live. I was following what I thought was the social norm, I was conforming.
Some days I felt selfish and ungrateful for feeling this way because only seven years earlier I had hit my bottom from a twenty-year career of drug and alcohol addiction. Unlike many who suffer from addiction I had managed to hold onto a few things when I decided to get sober, and my career was one of them. I was what some call a functioning alcoholic. On the outside, it seemed as though I had it somewhat together. I had a good career, marriage, car and even a dog to round things off. But inside I was severely depressed, suicidal, financially bankrupt, overweight, unhealthy, and unhappily married. I used drugs and alcohol because of my inability to handle my emotions, but at a certain point in my life, even substances didn’t numb the pain anymore.
Early recovery taught me how to build a solid foundation by living a more spiritual life, recognizing my part in any given situation, and helping others. Living this way helped me stay sober and function day to day without wanting to numb out my emotions with drugs and alcohol. This is where I also learned about emotional intelligence without evening knowing it. I think I cried more in my first couple of years of sobriety than I did my entire life.
I was fortunate to be able to repair the damage I had done and for that, I was truly grateful, but it never sat well with me knowing I was meant for more and to have no idea what that more was or how to find it. At around the six-year mark of my sobriety, I felt the urge to go on a journey of self-exploration. I felt as though I needed to find my purpose because I was tired of settling for a life that didn’t provide much in the way of fulfillment and happiness. If there was anything I learned in early sobriety it was that I had a choice in creating the life I wanted to live.
I began my journey in discovering my purpose by learning more about the concept, “Ikigai.” In North America, the Japanese concept of ikigai roughly translates to, “a reason for living,” or “the reason you wake up in the morning.” This involved answering four questions and then finding things within those answers that aligned or made my heart sing. The four questions were:
What do you love?
What are you good at?
What could you get paid for?
What does the world need more of?
After answering those questions the first time I did this exercise I came up with this answer which became my purpose, or in other words my reason for waking up in the morning.
“I empower people in recovery to live up to their true potential and meet the challenge of change.”
This became my purpose! That was the moment when I decided to become a coach and a performance consultant. It was also the moment that I realized that the experience I had been through with my life of addiction was the key to my success. For years in my sobriety, I had always assumed that my past would follow me around in a negative way. I never realized that my experience was a gift I could use to help others overcome the same struggles I had. I also realized that by sharing this journey of re-inventing myself and living a more purpose-driven life, I could teach others to do the same.
In late 2019 I was inspired by a few of my mentors to start my first podcast called, “The Road to Health.” I was still working my corporate job at that time and did a lot of traveling. I shared my journey to reclaim control over my health while being subjected to the temptations of being on the road. After the pandemic hit, I started working from home and this is when I decided to officially start my coaching business. This was also around the time that I wrote my first book, “Hope Elevated,” which shared my story of overcoming over twenty years of addiction. During this time I pivoted with my podcast as I was no longer traveling and so "The Road Beyond Recovery Podcast" was born.
The Road Beyond Recovery Podcast began with me sharing parts of my first book and the struggles I had gone through. I also shared about my early days of starting a business and becoming an entrepreneur. I interviewed other entrepreneurs in recovery with the hope to inspire people like myself to lead a more purpose-driven life. Shortly after I began writing my second book called, “Beyond Recovery.” This book shared my story of getting sober and the strategies I had used to find my purpose and start my business. My goal was to inspire others in recovery to create a life so good for themselves that they never wanted to go back to their old way of living. I wanted to help others create a life beyond recovery.
The result of discovering was purpose has not only allowed me to create the life I was meant to live but it has also enhanced my sobriety. In less than one year I started my own business, wrote two bestselling books, and quit my corporate job to pursue my dreams. Today my purpose is to help entrepreneurs in recovery master their mind, so they can grow their businesses and lead authentically fulfilled lives. This is the path I am now walking because I have discovered a purpose greater than myself.
Not a bad start for a recovering alcoholic is it.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin, and visit my website for more info!
Tamar Medford, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tamar Medford is a National Director with Life In Balance Careers, Founder of The Road Forward and host of The Road Beyond Recovery Podcast. Since overcoming a 20-year battle with drugs and alcohol, she has dedicated her life to helping entrepreneurs in recovery master their minds so they can grow their businesses and lead authentically fulfilling lives. Tamar is a Neuro Change Master Practitioner, Performance Consultant and Life Coach and uses evidence-based frameworks to help her clients live purpose-driven lives. She is the author of two Amazon bestselling books, Hope Elevated and Beyond Recovery. Tamar has almost a decade of experience helping individuals in recovery, and she desires to bring more awareness to addiction, recovery, and mental health. Her mission is to help those in recovery create a life so good for themselves that they never want to go back to their old way of living.
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