Written by Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
Ranya Alhusaini is a mindset transformation guru. Besides, she is a Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner and NLP. Ranya dug her way through self discovery, curiosity and knowledge.
Living with parents who are constantly devaluing, ignoring, or traumatizing your feelings can damage your ability to feel loved as an adult. Childhood’s emotional neglect can eat you silently from inside- leaving you battling your unworthiness. During adulthood, the symptoms from childhood’s emotional neglect can leave you feeling: abandoned, neglected, blocked, and not accepting love. Children who have been touched severely by emotional neglect are emotionally restrained and disconnected from experiencing the love that naturally comes their way. Growing with neglectful parents can turn down your feelings to become invisible. During childhood, the amount of love you failed to receive can structure down how your love stories will look like. A childhood’s diluted version of attention can play down your future relationship /s depth and flow.
What is emotional neglect?
Emotional neglect has its roots early in childhood. Basically, it is how your parents failed to maintain a healthy responsive relationship with you. Emotional neglect is categorized under emotional abuse stretching its adverse effect to adulthood. Your inability to acknowledge your feelings can incur deep hurtful layers of sadness and loneliness. When ignoring your emotional expression and psychological needs are strongly affirmed on: “I was never important in my parent’s life and my feelings were not validated, therefore- I never felt home”.
Busy parents don’t have enough time to attend to their children daily psychological needs. An abandoned child due to parental’s neglect may silently suffer their unspoken feelings. Unconsciously, children can be starting to negative label those neglectful moments under “unworthy of love”. During early childhood, emotional neglect can open doors to negative feelings - like: sadness, loneliness, depression, unworthiness of love/ respect ,and social isolation.
What are the symptoms of childhood’s emotional neglect in adulthood?
1. Low self-esteem
During childhood, a poor emotional support can integrate a meaning of how unworthy you think you are. This meaning was repetitively confirming the fact how your parents were not available because you are less important to them. Hence, the meaning that was built inside your mind when you were a child contributed to what you strongly believed on as: not enough, inadequate or unworthy of love. All beliefs you form when you were a child can secretly travel with you to adulthood pushing you unconsciously to behave in the same manner and form a less fortunate stand about your real worth.
2. Unable to regulate emotions
Emotional dysregulation occurs when the brain cannot read proper emotional signals. Emotional dysregulation can contribute to the severity of: impulsive behavior, mood swing, and emotional meltdown. What are the factors contributing to emotional dysregulation? As per a conducted research-The abuse from neglect can cause significant damage to the brain. Non-supportive parents who are mostly busy, violent and negligent are causing harm similar to physical abuse. In fact, childhood’s emotional neglect can cause permanent changes and damages to the human’s brain, changing the structure of the brain. During adulthood, psychological and emotional problems during childhood can be a contributing factor to psychological disorder and substance misuse.
3. Averting from support
Some parents are inattentively responding to their children surge of emotions. Severe neglect from parents can develop a fearful idea against relying on others. As an adult you start rejecting offers of support. A chronic childhood’s emotional neglect can leave you mistrusting the intention of others. Around this area, your subconscious mind is rewinding back a series of events when you were ridiculed, abandoned, bullied and left to vulnerability. Another strong belief formed during childhood under a prolonged series of neglect is “if no one took care of me I will handle my own- because no one knows me well like I do. For you- maintaining distance is a defensive mechanism.
4. Heightened sensitivity
As a child, progressing in an emotional deprived environment may build a protective wall against rejection and criticism. This protection can withhold the person from freedom and happiness. Living within the wall of protection may lead the person to develop chronic anxiety and depression due to a prolonged suppression of feelings. Heightened sensitivity may attribute to the complexity of how you react to rejection. Sadly- it was found out that most healthy families fail to embrace their children’s feelings. Childhood’s emotional neglect may look like an invisible air of austerity misleading parents to proper embrace and respond to their children’s basic emotional needs. A sensitive child may react strongly to criticism, even later at life. A heightened sensitive personality is due to buried hurtful layers of rejection threading in between the memories.
5. Anxiety
Repressed negative feelings can travel with you to adulthood. When painful memories are unconsciously running your day can only leave a significant tab of heavy burden. However, repressing your emotional needs can stir chaotic mental turmoil and emotional burden. What you don’t acknowledge nor express will keep a heavy pile on your thoughts depriving you from peace, trust and loving relationships. Survivors of childhood’s emotional neglect are constantly worrying if their vulnerability and defectiveness are clear to the sight. Emotional absence during childhood can progressively lead you to adopt perfectionism. Painting over the cracks of a prolonged childhood’s memory. The idea of perfecting every single aspect of your life can develop chronic stress, anxiety and depression. Compressed negative memories are repressed unconsciously in your subconscious mind piling an unforgettable strong belief of “loving relationship is not promising-anymore”
6. Apathy
Apathy is lacking the emotion, passion, interest, feelings and concern. So how does childhood’s emotional neglect contribute to apathy? Being indifferent to how you are feeling. With apathy you are losing a sincere touch with your feeling, concern, excitement, motivation, and passion. When strong belief of “why should I care, when no one really cared”, can carve monuments of dissociative behavioral patterns. Dissociative behavioral pattern due to emotional abuse can contribute to feeling disconnected, unavailable and misunderstood in relationships. Thus, prolonged chronic apathy sounding like “it’s not my business” or “whatever” may lead to emotional numbness, social isolation, and lack of motivation.
How childhood’s emotional neglect contributes to unworthiness of love and respect?
In an intimate emotional context, childhood’s emotional neglect may silently present itself in the form of: lack of support, loneliness, no intimate eye contact, not willingly wanting to resolve arguments, and your feelings/thoughts are not respected fully. The partner who is secretly carrying a burden due to a bad taste of neglect may act passively toward their partner – leaving no chance for them to be heard and acknowledged. The characteristics of evasive personalities due to emotional neglect are: arrogance, inattentive and late presence, not clearly communicating their feelings. However, all of these symptoms are surging an invisible air of coldness keeping the connection weak and shallow. A cold connection with your partner is magnified by: distance, high expectation, sorrow, misunderstanding, worthlessness, and hopelessness. Which takes us back to childhood improper parental support contributing to the meanings you have realized. The intertwine dance between pain and pleasure can sometimes jump into the scenario of prediction, leaving no space to warmth and genuine connection. A longer episode of childhood’s emotional abuse can leave you with a belief of “you are unworthy and unloved” A traumatized emotional abuse episode can build a blocking wall against any emotional expression. As a child your personality was absorbing every single word thrown your way from your parents, leading your brain to readjust its expression and responses. Avoiding feelings can only mean you are afraid, and ashamed of your feelings or how you would look like when you are expressing them. Thus, chronic shame is often rooted back to neglectful childhood experiences. Those experiences were characterized by: disconnection, rejection, and abandonment from parents. As an adult – every time you come closer to a commitment you either: disconnect, reject or avoid expressing your feelings. Repeating to yourself “I shouldn’t feel this way”. However, your rejection is magnifying the unwanted feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness dragged from a childhood experience. Linking your parent’s reactions to your expression can open doors to: voidness, loss, confusion and disconnection. With this on mind- the subconscious mind internalized a repetitive reminder instructing your mind how showing feeling is a shameful emotional experience.
Why childhood’s emotional neglect can create complex personalities?
Childhood’s emotional neglect may contribute to negative outcomes - like narcissism or selfless behavioral traits. Environment characterized with emotional unawareness can contribute to selfless personality traits. How? Being emotionally unaware of how to identify, acknowledge or manage your feelings in a healthy manner can later on signify: extreme altruism, no healthy boundaries, and difficulty in saying no to others. Around this corner, your personality may headline - I place others before me. On the other side, growing in a less caring environment-characterized by punishment, invalidation and discouragement can develop less compassionate personalities. When your parents make you fight for attention and love, and validate your presence only on your accomplishments linking your mind to a strong belief “I have to fight for attention and love”. On both scenarios, the nature of your environment can shape down your personality.
Tips to overcome emotional neglect in adulthood?
The road to overcoming childhood’s emotional neglect is constant recovery through time. Working harder to recover from an overdue residue that has acutely altered your brain’s pathways. However, the limiting beliefs from such trauma may leave traces of voidness, low self-esteem, perfectionism, and having no direction in life. When you are feeling hollow no matter how far you are filling your cup can leave you emotionally scattered. The road to self-discovery can be healing your behavioral understanding. Going back on time to the root and cause of the meanings you have attached to certain emotional events can lead you to acknowledge the intensity of your repressed feelings. When you acknowledge that what, how and when from a past event/s has altered how you perceive matters in your life.
The below strategies can drive you to recovery in a formidable manner:
Identify the missing part in your childhood’s emotional stories; Address what your parents did not do to you.
Adjust the vividness of your emotional vibration; notice the void, notice the missing, notice the pain, and notice the nonchalant responses
Raise your awareness to how far your emotions are blocked; questions like- How do you feel in certain situations? What are your auto responses toward emotional stories? How do you perceive certain emotions? How do you express certain emotions? What is making you adapt such responses? What is blocking you from experiencing your feelings to the fullest? How do you describe, when you want to feel?
Deep question your willingness to self-accept your weakness, emotions, unpleasant memory and reactions? What one belief is stopping self- acceptance? What is your feeling?
Embrace your being, and envelope the missing part in your feelings. Become the loving parent you wanted in your life.
Practice praising your worth by repeating empowering positive statements you always wanted to hear .
Start your mindset transformation journey with just one click away
Your repressed feelings may feel overwhelming and draining, but you don’t have to face this all alone. Know that you still have the power, and your understanding can flip the scenario to your own favor. Your self-worth journey can be a deep travel to the core of your essence. Are you ready to unravel the deep layers of your limiting beliefs and discover how what happened in the past made you adapt certain belief. Feeling unworthy can be limiting your life’s choice, stirring chaos into finding healthy living matters. With just one click away you will learn how Mindset Transformation session can guide you safely into your desired destination- book your Free discovery call or WhatsApp me at 00971566935858.
Ranya AlHusaini, Mindset Transformation Guru
This is Ranya AlHusaini – a mindset transformation guru. My mission is to motivate professional women to unlock their self-worth and live a balanced life. With so much curiosity, and self-awareness I have developed my way with strength and determination. My expertise was well maintained as I took years to understand and develop my own through different modalities, and from there I understood human's nature and reaction. The modalities I use and consult throughout the session are NLP, Rapid transformation Therapy technique, and Hypnosis. So if you want a switch, or a makeover in your life hop in for a mindset transformation session! I have attached a photo of myself as well!
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