Written by Angela Dawn, Sex, Love & Relationship Coach
Angela Dawn is a Certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach and a Certified Tantric Sex Coach whose mission is to empower you to find fulfillment in love & life, enrich your intimate relationships. and help couples "Get Closer."
If your primary relationship isn’t on your mental radar, you just might lose it. Our adult lives get busy. We’re pouring our souls into our business, our health, and all of our various responsibilities. First-thing-in-the-morning thoughts in your head might sound something like… The dog needs a walk. Remember to pick the kids up from school at 3:25. Pay the housecleaner. Get to the gym before my 9 am meeting. Don’t forget to text so-and-so…
Did your morning’s thoughts include booking some alone time with your partner? I hope so. Shared quality time in a relationship contributes to relationship satisfaction. When did you last take a “time out” with your partner? Not just watching Netflix, while you each have cell phones in your hands, but real quality time. So, how can you foster deeper intimacy in your relationship?
Take a time out with your partner
Much of my work as a Sex, Love & Relationship coach revolves around helping couples deepen their connection and get closer. There is simply no replacement for dedicated time together. The guidelines I often share with couples are to have:
A date night at least once a week,
A weekend away seasonally, and
A week together once a year.
Some say it’s “impossible” to set aside that much time. It’s not. Try thinking outside the box. Contemplate how you can make it work for the two of you.
Can you do a childcare swap with friends or neighbors so that each couple gets a date night? Could you afford a picnic or a walk in the park as a date? What about camping or borrowing a friend’s home for a weekend away? Would you do a stay-cation together while you house-sit for someone? Making time for each other need not be impossible. Even if your relationship is already fantastic, quality time together helps you level up!
Free yourself from distractions & offer presence
Part of developing this quality time is to make it free from distractions – like laundry, work, and kids. (Trust me, having a pile of laundry in the corner of the bedroom is probably a turn-off to your partner.) Reducing or eliminating things that take us away from togetherness allows the opportunity to connect more deeply. Reducing distractions may mean booking a change of venue for a date, hiring a sitter, or engaging in household tasks together for a fixed amount of time before your date night.
When you block out your quality time, make sure it’s time you’re present with each other. Try staying off social media when you’re together. Choose to eat together without the TV on. Use the quiet time to communicate what you appreciate about each other and what you each want for the future – and don’t forget lovemaking!
Do the right things in relationship
It’s not necessarily about where you go to have quality time. It’s more about what you do. Engaging in activities one or both of you enjoy makes a great date. Just be sure you’re alternating who chooses the activities. Having a novel experience together is even better. Think about trying something together that neither of you has ever done, or going to a place you both have never been.
One way to have a novel experience is to learn something new together. I often have clients who use their “date nights” to learn Tantric Techniques with me through my couples Tantra coaching. There are infinite possibilities for trying new activities… Have you gone axe throwing? Been on a local ghost tour? Visited an obscure museum? Playing together and having fun is key.
Taking a trip together can be an ideal way to connect, especially for those who find themselves “too busy” in their everyday lives. This is why I offer my Couples Tantra Retreat in Costa Rica and Tantra Weekends in Annapolis, Maryland as an option for couples who want to work with me. Being in a new place together, learning something new, and being free from daily distractions is a game changer!
The point here is to find activities that connect. If you’re learning or trying something new together, you have common ground for discussion, and you make memories together.
Engage your senses
Sensory awareness can be heart-opening! It allows individuals to connect with their emotions, surroundings, and others on a deeper level. Engaging the senses encourages us to be fully present, helps us be more in tune with our bodies, and create meaningful connections. Focusing on our sense experiences helps us savor the moment.
This can be as simple as picking up some good-smelling flowers or putting on a good playlist when you’re having date night at home. Another way to engage the senses is to visit a location that allows for that, such as an art museum or a garden. You can also bring sensory experiences into your lovemaking on date night with something as simple as a feather or a blindfold!
Nailing it
An ideal formula is time + novelty + no distractions. Bonus points if you engage your senses! If you’re having trouble making the time, sit down with your partner and talk about small ways you can begin to shape your calendar to schedule quality time. Brainstorm new and interesting places to go or activities to try together. Put your phone down first – it will show your partner that you’re ready to be present with them. Opening up the conversation about spending quality time together is the first step!
If you’re interested in truly leveling up your time together, consider booking private Tantra coaching in person or on Zoom, attending one of my events, or coming to Costa Rica for a couples retreat. We can discuss the possibilities in more detail in an initial chat.
Angela Dawn, Sex, Love & Relationship Coach
Angela (she/her) is a Certified Sex, Love & Relationship Coach and a Certified Tantric Sex Coach, dedicated to helping couples Get Closer. With a wealth of experience in yoga and Tibetan Buddhism, she brings a holistic approach to her coaching. Angela's mission is to empower clients to find fulfillment in love and life, free from societal taboos. Based in Annapolis, Maryland, her unique perspective and extensive training in tantric practices make her the ideal guide for enriching your intimate relationships. Don't wait; the time for the best version of yourself in love and intimacy is now!
