Written by Jérôme Rey, Shamanic Healer/Therapist
Jérôme is undoubtedly a charismatic and passionate holistic therapist of the new age! At the heart of his work is: Live and embody your essence. He draws on decades of his own personal experiences with shamans, healers, and therapists, as well as years of experience dealing with trauma.
Who can you turn to if you are suffering – should you go to a shaman, a therapist, or a medium? Or is it better to see a psychiatrist or doctor? In this article, you will find information that has the potential to help you find solutions to all your challenges and problems.
There have probably never been so many offers that promise help as there are today. Coaching, individual and group therapies, self-help groups, or would it be better to go to psychotherapy? Who should I turn to, which method is the right one?
Most people seek help when they experience symptoms and suffer from them. The symptoms can manifest themselves on different levels, for example, physical or psychological complaints.
Support should not be aimed at merely treating the symptoms
Unless they are serious physical or even serious psychological complaints. In this case, it is advisable to first consult a doctor, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist for treatment.
If you suffer from physical complaints, it may be useful to consult someone who offers acupuncture treatments, Shiatsu, or Chinese medicine in combination with osteopathy and who combines these methods with one another. Ayurvedic massages, ideally in combination with good nutrition, can work miracles on a physical level. This can get the (energy channels) meridians back into flow and the body, including the joints and spine, can be relieved and possibly realigned. These methods are useful for a wide range of physical complaints (check with your doctor if in doubt) and are particularly helpful in preventing physical ailments and stress.
However, the underlying cause of both psychological and physical complaints will in most cases lie at the level of attachment and development.
The choice of method can be decisive, but just as important is the relationship with the person who accompanies us. Do I feel good with this person? Do I have the impression that this person is also professionally competent?
Does the person have extensive training and experience in attachment and relationship work (keyword: developmental and attachment trauma) and ideally also a deep understanding of the nervous system (nervous system-informed method)?
Am I simply being diagnosed, do I have the feeling that I am being listened to properly? Can this person (therapist) also talk about their feelings?
The relationship level between client/patient and therapist is an essential aspect for real change to happen.
I strongly advise against choosing a method that focuses purely on behavioural change or symptom relief. It should be a method that addresses deep-seated attachment patterns. It is crucial that they feel this change and are actively involved in it. The aim is to achieve their own ability to act without developing a dependency on the therapist. Instead, a trusting connection should develop that makes them independent – in other words, the method should support them in becoming an autonomous, independent person.
This change must be experienced physically, and it is important that they are actively involved in the process, rather than handing over responsibility completely to the therapist, shaman, doctor, or healer.
Methods based on the polyvagal theory are to be favoured.
Methods such as NARM (Neuroaffective Relationship Model) FLOATING (according to Gopal Nobert Klein) or SE (Somatic Experiencing) are to be preferred.
This is an approach in which specifically trained experts apply their extensive knowledge of the nervous system and the dynamics of interpersonal interactions.
Methods such as Somatic Experience and TRE (Tention & Trauma Release Exercises) are particularly recommended for shock trauma. For attachment and developmental trauma, I can highly recommend the new FLOATING and NARM methods.
This is essentially about looking at interpersonal relationships and their influence on development.
This relationship level is crucial and, in my opinion, the most important point that should be addressed first. Many problems, such as anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt, depression, or financial difficulties, and basically any kind of physical or psychological suffering, can result from unresolved relationship dynamics.
It may seem surprising at first that these problems are related to the relationship level. But once you understand how profound these connections are, you can specifically resolve the underlying issues – ideally with support. Because it is often difficult to recognise the exact problem on your own, it is helpful to have someone by your side to support you.
Another important aspect is: If you realise that a session is not bringing the desired progress, you should definitely address this. How the therapist reacts to your feedback is crucial.
Ask yourself whether the therapist is able to talk openly about their own thoughts and feelings or whether they are holding back and deflecting everything. Pay attention to whether they try to shift responsibility onto you, whether they seem overwhelmed or have difficulties communicating this.
These aspects are essential, as ultimately a relationship of trust and a genuine connection must be established between you and the therapist. If this trust is not there, or cannot be questioned, no method will be able to show its true effect.
Depending on the current state of our (nervous) system, it can be helpful to use methods such as hypnosis or NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).
These methods can have a very positive effect and give us direct access to our subconscious and our stored identifications and the resulting beliefs and unresolved feelings. However, we hardly come into contact with how our subconscious mind projects dangers in the ‘here and now’, and in particular we do not learn how to communicate our feelings and needs with a counterpart.
I also see a certain problematic nature of purely symptom-based work.
For example, certain fears can be alleviated or completely resolved, but if the relationship level is not taken into account, these problems will reappear on a deeper level.
Shamanic rituals/healing sessions
Usually focus more on the spiritual aspects and entanglements. They can help to cleanse the energy body and come to terms with one's own life mission and spiritual path. The focus here is on exploring and clarifying the deeper, spiritual level and one's life mission!
Shamanic work is a wonderful way to experience a sense of unity and connectedness. But it is important that there is also space to talk about what is triggered within us when this connection does not feel good. Otherwise, it can happen that you go from one shamanic ceremony to the next and feel good and free there, but then return to everyday life and realise that you feel even more alien and isolated than before.
If the relationship level is not addressed in parallel with the shamanic or energetic work, it can happen that you recognise your vision more clearly and feel a strong power in the cleansing. However, there is a danger that this vision becomes dogmatic and that you become obsessively fixated on fulfilling your ‘mission’ – almost like a missionary who has to save the world. This can lead to your efforts becoming one-sided and possibly inflexible, rather than a balanced and integrated approach
A visit to a medium
Can be particularly valuable when it comes to coping with grief and processing. An afterlife contact can be deeply touching, release emotional blocks and provide comfort by showing that there are beings and that death is not the end. All of these things are essential, but they only work on a certain level and usually cannot solve all problems... especially not the core of our negative relationship identification.
An inability to deal with conflict in a constructive way is a result of developmental and attachment trauma. Which unfortunately is a collective problem today and in my view affects us all.
We should therefore first favour a solution that brings us more contact and the ability to act in the ‘here and now’. This then automatically leads to relaxation in the nervous system and allows us to experience the fullness of life without having to do anything.
Saving the world – that would be important, wouldn't it?
Yes, of course, we must finally learn to get out of the power struggles and experience ourselves as co-operative beings and a peaceful society is absolutely desirable. However, it makes no sense to constantly fight against the current society, but rather to contribute to new possibilities. We can do this quite simply if we grow on a relational level. People who can allow deep relationships are no longer easy to manipulate. When we experience deep relationships, we automatically feel grounded and fulfilled. The desire to have more and more, status, power, and money, then automatically becomes abstruse as well as having to fight against it at all costs.
Ultimately, it is important that we are honest with ourselves and examine ourselves by asking ourselves: : Has seeing a therapist or shaman, healer, etc. really helped me? Did it help me move forward? Has it put me in a position to be able to act? Was I really recognised by this person?
Has my suffering really been resolved at its core? This question really needs to be asked and if the answer is not a clear YES, then the search should continue.
Nowadays there are many tips for regulating the nervous system, which seems very positive at first glance. It is indeed encouraging that awareness of how our nervous system works has increased. But the problem often lies in the fact that these approaches are about optimising something or using certain techniques to get rid of unpleasant sensations. This does not lead to a solution to the actual suffering, but can even make the problem worse. The constant need to do, improve or cleanse something in order to finally be ‘right’ is a pattern that often stems from childhood. Back then, the child tried to stabilise itself or at least maintain a semblance of stability away from the unpleasant feelings through such behaviour.
Instead, it is better to ask ourselves: What is the real cause of my imbalance? What am I not showing my fellow human beings, what dangers am I projecting onto my environment and what am I perhaps even trying to hide from myself?
The first step would be to be able to communicate this in a safe relationship. "I think you will leave me if I share my anger with you?"
I often feel lonely, I feel cut off and sad – or I feel alone and powerless.
It is precisely these emotional spaces that finally want to be heard, i.e. brought into contact, so that no negative consequences (loss of relationship) are experienced.
Once the nervous system has realised that we are right with our needs and emotions today. Then we can take care of completely different things in the world and no longer have to chase happiness.
As already mentioned, we usually need support from outside. It is almost impossible to fully recognise our own projections of danger and repressed emotional spaces on our own.
Summary
In order to resolve to suffer (always consult a doctor or psychotherapist first if you are in great distress), it is crucial not only to treat the symptoms but also to recognise the underlying causes, which almost always lie at the relationship level. The choice of method and the relationship with the therapist are crucial. It should not just be about changing behaviour or alleviating symptoms, but about a profound examination of one's own attachment patterns and emotional blockages. Methods such as NARM (Neuroaffective Relationship Model) and FLOATING according to Gopal Norbert Klein are particularly effective as they regulate the nervous system and enable real change at the relationship level.
If there are physical complaints (always consult a doctor first), combinations of acupuncture, shiatsu and osteopathy, or Ayurveda can be helpful. For emotional or spiritual issues, shamanic approaches or a medium can offer support, but these should be complemented by simultaneous work on the relationship level in order to achieve a sustainable result.
Ultimately, it is important to honestly examine whether the chosen method really helps to become capable of acting and to solve the core of the suffering. If this is not the case, the search for suitable support should be continued. What I can guarantee is that there is a solution in every case. The universe has planned it that way. Sometimes it's just a matter of time to BE in exactly the right place!
Then it can happen to you as it did to this client after a FLOATING session:
"I realise that a lot is changing inside me as if I am waking up from a dream or nightmare.
It's as if life is just starting and the core suffering has now been overcome. Big words and at the same time I feel the same." (The client agrees to the publication of his statement, for client protection the name of the person is not mentioned).
For more information or a counselling appointment, please contact me via my website: jeromerey.ch
Jérôme Rey, Shamanic Healer/Therapist
Jérôme is undoubtedly a charismatic and passionate holistic therapist of the new age! At the heart of his work is: Live and embody your essence. He draws on decades of his own personal experiences with shamans, healers, and therapists, as well as years of experience in dealing with trauma. His profound knowledge is based on extensive training in the field of trauma therapy and spirituality. This broad spectrum of personal experience and professional knowledge forms the basis of his professional work and enables him to accompany people on their path of healing and personal growth.
