How Addiction Obscures Your Perception of Reality
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 17
- 8 min read
Written by Shona Kydd, Addiction and Trauma Therapist
With more than ten years dedicated to the fields of trauma and addiction, Shona stands out as a fervent advocate for open discussions about mental health. Her mission revolves around dismantling the misconceptions surrounding addiction and emphasising the importance of addressing trauma with both creativity and compassion.
Addiction can often carry a significant weight of judgment, comparison, and misunderstanding. When Addiction is perceived as a grim, shameful, and undesirable condition, we understandably would prefer to distance ourselves from it. As a result, we often find ourselves unsure of what differentiates habitual or social indulges from an addiction problem. We frequently hear that those who struggle with addiction are often in denial about their situation. This raises the question: how can we be certain that we are not also deceiving ourselves? In this article, I aim to shed light on these complex issues. With a decade of experience in the field of addiction, I am dedicated to elevating discussions surrounding this topic as I strive to reduce the stigma associated with it.
What classifies as an addiction?
This is where the murky waters lie for most people. The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) characterises addiction as a condition in which individuals use “substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences”. At first glance, this definition may seem clear-cut, but in reality, addiction is far more complex. A more effective way to illustrate these nuances is through examples: imagine a social drinker who starts adding vodka to their morning orange juice just to function or a father who loses his job and family because he cannot control his drinking. In both cases, the harmful impact on their lives is evident, yet they feel powerless to stop aligning closely with the definition of addiction.
However, consider the successful businesswoman who feels she needs three or four glasses of wine every evening to unwind despite maintaining a productive life. Or the ambitious young man whose relentless career drive turns into workaholism. Additionally, some individuals feel compelled to engage in intense workouts twice a day just to feel "normal." Society often perceives these behaviours as acceptable or even admirable without recognising their potential harm.
Yet, I believe these patterns of substance use and compulsive behaviours deserve deeper examination within addiction treatment frameworks. Unlike more visible addictions, these subtler forms may go unnoticed, persisting without intervention and continually causing distress and long-term consequences that may escalate into serious issues over time.
As a therapist, I have witnessed countless forms of addictive behaviours that prevent individuals from leading fulfilling lives, leaving them feeling stuck, confused, and hopeless. Often, they are either unaware of or in denial about their reliance on harmful habits as a way to cope. This can appear as chronic worry or overthinking to the point of paralysis and declining health or as an endless cycle of distractions, constantly keeping busy with tasks and activities until burnout sets in. It is at this juncture that we can begin to distinguish between a healthy drive or passion and a compulsive addiction.
Addictive behaviours frequently serve as an escape from painful emotions or deeply ingrained beliefs about ourselves and the world. We turn to these habits in an attempt to soothe emotional wounds or mask feelings of inadequacy. Yet, rather than resolving these underlying issues, such behaviours often fuel a cycle of shame and self-destruction. Addiction expert Gabor Maté, author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, captures this contrast perfectly in this quote: “The difference between passion and addiction is that between a divine spark and a flame that incinerates.”
Addiction, especially when fuelled by our substance of choice, provides only temporary relief from the weight of past traumas and anxieties about the future. These two forces make the present feel unbearable. In many ways, even those who do not struggle with obvious substance abuse may unknowingly mirror the behaviours of chronic addicts, seeking to fill an inner void. This sense of disconnection from our true selves, meaning, purpose, and intrinsic value is only intensified by a consumer-driven culture that glorifies acquisition, constant activity, and external appearances, leaving us feeling emptier than before.
Ultimately, no matter the substance or behaviour we use to avoid confronting our inner world, we find ourselves even more dissatisfied in the end, struggling to fill a void that can only be healed by reconnecting with ourselves.
How do we know if we might be acting addictively?
If, as outlined above, we look at addiction as a psychological and physiological reaction rooted in experiences of childhood trauma and emotional lack, then we can understand addiction as an attempt to solve a problem and soothe a state of discomfort.
In doing so, we act out or use in a preferred way that temporarily disguises this unease, which will eventually lead us to the following symptoms:
Increasing craving or urge, the strong desire for a particular substance or activity that continues to grow in need.
Powerlessness, the addictive trait, becomes stronger than us, and we feel our control over it has been negated.
With negative consequences and unmanageability, addiction has now become a main priority, and we may feel that life has become harder and more unfair as things continue to go wrong. Despite the downward spiral, we may blame circumstances rather than our addiction for our unmanageability, leaving us stuck in a victim denial cycle.
Risk taking and change of character, our moral compass may move significantly in order to enable the addiction, For instance, we may recognise that purchasing a luxury item could result in overdrawing our account, jeopardising our ability to pay rent on time a scenario we would have deemed unthinkable previously. This compulsion might also place additional strain on our spouse and threaten our overall stability, yet the urgency of the purchase outweighs these concerns.
Isolation and addiction can result in social withdrawal. We may become overwhelmed by feelings of shame, leading us to avoid vulnerability with loved ones and refrain from expressing our worries. This retreat can suppress our capacity to love, as it appears too painful and fraught with risk.
Uncovering lesser-known addictions
There are various compulsive behaviours that can subtly ensnare us, leading to significant impacts on our lives. Here are just some lesser-known addictive behaviours that are worth exploring:
Drama addiction
This form of addiction revolves around a craving for conflict and chaos. We may find ourselves embroiled in unnecessary disputes or drama-filled situations, often seeking the emotional highs associated with turmoil.
Thrill-seeking addiction
A relentless pursuit of excitement defines this behaviour. Engaging in dangerous activities, be it extreme sports or other adrenaline-fueled experiences, in a quest for thrills.
Overthinking addiction
Chronic contemplation can spiral into an addiction where we find ourselves trapped in cycles of rumination and incessant worrying. This mental fixation can detract from daily life and overall well-being.
News addiction
Staying informed has become a double-edged sword. The compulsive need to consume news, often driven by fear of missing out, can lead to anxiety and an overwhelming sense of dread.
Approval and validation addiction
This addiction manifests as an incessant need for external praise and recognition. We may find ourselves constantly seeking validation from others, which can erode self-esteem and foster dependency on external opinions.
These are just a few examples of the myriad ways in which we can become entrapped in cycles of addiction. While the consequences of these behaviours may not be as overt as substance addiction, they can still lead to significant, often destructive changes in one's life.
Falling into the trap of addiction can occur gradually and subtly, making it difficult to recognise the struggle in its early stages. By the time we become aware of the issue, substantial harm may have already been inflicted on our mental and physical health, as well as on our personal relationships and professional life.
Recognition and acceptance
By delving a bit deeper into the concept of addiction, we can see its intricate nature and the various dimensions that define it. At its core, addiction is more than just a compulsive outlet; it exists on a spectrum that evolves from casual use or a habitual pattern into a dominant coping mechanism that ultimately leads to negative consequences, but more crucially, it can show up in a variety of ways that we may not have classified as an addiction. Distinguishing addiction from mere habits or social consumption is vital, as it allows us to recognise the signs that indicate a shift towards a more harmful trajectory.
Addiction is a symptom of distress, so it is vital to approach addiction with the understanding that it often stems from underlying suffering. Compassion and empathy are key components in addressing this complex issue; they promote an environment where healing can occur. Instead of resorting to judgment or criticism, which often will exacerbate feelings of shame, we should strive to support instead.
Ultimately, by acknowledging the nature of addiction and approaching it with kindness, we can create pathways to recovery that emphasise understanding over condemnation. It is through this lens that we can work towards alleviating the burdens of addiction and promoting genuine healing. Addiction often stems from feelings of shame and suffering; therefore, exacerbating that shame does not provide a remedy but rather intensifies the damage experienced by both the battle and the loved ones who witness the descent. As Father Richard Rohr, who has written many books on the subject, noted, “Pain that is not transformed will be transmitted.” The significance of addressing pain cannot be overstated. Transforming pain into understanding and growth is essential for both personal and communal harmony. By doing so, we not only heal ourselves but also contribute to a healthier environment for those around us and generations to come.
With access to better knowledge, it is encouraging to acknowledge that we are getting better at understanding addiction and that no matter which form it takes, we can see it is a distress signal that we need to listen to.
Thankfully with this growing awareness there is also a growing number of support networks that can help anyone who is impacted by addiction, I have listed just some of them below.
So in summary, addiction stems from a need to cope, it serves as a survival mechanism, but it transforms into a profoundly destructive force. One of the most significant challenges we face as humans is being disconnected from ourselves. This disconnection not only affects our ability to experience our own suffering but also diminishes our chances for healing. What may appear to be maladaptive and harmful behaviours today once served as an essential coping strategy during difficult periods in our lives. When we resort to self-soothing behaviours, it often stems from a lack of adequate nurturing during formative years. Recognising this reality can lessen self-judgment and encourage accountability. To remedy addiction, we need compassionate self-reflection and empathic connections.
Read more from Shona Kydd
Shona Kydd, Addiction and Trauma Therapist
Shona brings more than ten years of dedicated experience in the realms of trauma and addiction. She is deeply committed to fostering conversations about mental health, challenging the misconceptions associated with addiction, and emphasizing the importance of a compassionate and innovative approach to healing trauma and anxiety. As a therapist, Shona employs a holistic and integrative methodology, utilising a diverse set of skills that empower individuals to navigate both historical and current obstacles while guiding them toward a brighter future.
References and support:
Rochard Rohr
changegrowlive.org: Support for mental wellbeing
addictionfamilysupport.org.uk: Provides support to anyone affected by someone else's harmful use of drugs, alcohol, or gambling.
