Written by Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is an experienced somatic therapist with 20 years in the field. As the founder of Mind Body Integration and the host of the podcast Rhythms of Self, she guides an exploratory felt sense journey home to self.
Healing is a deeply personal and transformative journey, one that requires patience, compassion, and an understanding that it unfolds at its own pace. Often, we approach the idea of healing with expectations that can inadvertently lead to frustration, shame, and guilt. The notion that we should be “healed already” or that transformation must occur quickly can trap us in a cycle of disappointment, making the process feel overwhelming and unattainable.
In the journey to heal the mind-body connection, it’s essential to recognize that healing is not linear, nor is it a quick fix. It’s a lifelong process that requires us to meet ourselves where we are, work at a pace that resonates with our system, and embrace the journey rather than the destination.
The importance of pacing your healing process
The mind-body connection is incredibly intricate, with our emotions, thoughts, and physical experiences all playing a part in shaping how we feel and respond to the world around us. When we experience trauma, chronic stress, or emotional dysregulation, the body often becomes stuck in patterns of protection; fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These protective responses are hardwired into us and can feel overwhelming when we attempt to push through them too quickly.
Healing doesn’t happen by force or by rushing the process. Just as physical wounds need time to heal, so does the mind and body. It’s important to honor where your system is right now, accepting that healing happens in layers. Some days might feel like progress, while others might feel like setbacks, but this ebb and flow is part of the natural process.
Pushing yourself too hard, too fast, or expecting to have “arrived” at a healed state before your system is ready can lead to shame and guilt. These emotions can create a cycle where you feel like you’re failing, when in reality, you’re simply moving through the healing process at a pace that feels right for your body and mind.
Why pushing through leads to stagnation
The desire to push through pain, discomfort, or emotional overwhelm is common, especially in a culture that prioritizes quick results. We see others “healing” or making progress and feel pressured to do the same, often forgetting that healing is highly individual.
When we try to rush transformation, we bypass the important work of integration. We may experience moments of change, but without proper support and grounding, these shifts often don’t last. Instead, our systems may react by shutting down, disconnecting, or reverting to old, familiar coping patterns. This creates a cycle of re-traumatization and can leave us feeling stuck in frustration and self-criticism.
Healing requires us to first feel safe in our bodies and emotions. When we rush the process, we may push ourselves beyond our window of tolerance, the range of sensations and emotions our nervous system can handle without becoming overwhelmed. This can send us into states of hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (freeze or collapse), making true healing and growth impossible.
Healing is a journey, not a destination
A powerful aspect of healing the mind-body connection is realizing that it is a lifelong journey. There is no endpoint where you “arrive” fully healed because life itself is constantly evolving, and so is the process of healing. The more we embrace the idea that healing is a continuous journey, the more compassionate we become with ourselves when things don’t go according to plan.
Within this acceptance of healing as an ongoing process lies the freedom to experience growth. We stop comparing our progress to others and begin to honor our own rhythm. Healing becomes less about achieving a final goal and more about developing the tools and resilience to navigate life’s challenges with awareness, patience, and self-compassion.
The need for multiple resources and support
One of the most important aspects of healing the mind-body connection is the need for resources; tools, practices, and support systems that help us manage our journey. No single approach can heal us entirely, and that’s okay. Just as a plant needs sunlight, water, and soil to grow, our healing process requires a variety of resources that nourish and support us.
This can include therapy, somatic practices, mindfulness, exercise, community support, creative outlets, and rest. It’s important to build a toolkit of resources that feel effective and supportive, remembering that healing is often about learning to dance with life’s complexities rather than seeking a perfect, one-size-fits-all solution.
External resources, such as trusted professionals, compassionate friends, and safe communities, can help lift us up and hold space for us when our internal strength feels depleted. At the same time, healing also involves recognizing and amplifying our internal strengths, such as our capacity for resilience, intuition, and self-compassion. These strengths become more accessible when we pace ourselves and give our bodies and minds the time they need to heal.
Shifting the narrative: Healing without shame
Perhaps the most important shift in the healing journey is changing the narrative around healing itself. Healing does not mean you are broken, nor does it require a constant state of “doing.” It is about being present, with compassion, for the parts of yourself that need love, care, and attention. Healing is not a sign of weakness but of strength, as it requires vulnerability, honesty, and kindness toward yourself.
Shame often arises when we feel like we should be further along or compare our journey to someone else’s. But this is not the truth. Healing takes time, and you are exactly where you need to be. By pacing yourself and treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer a dear friend, you honor the process and allow real, lasting change to occur.
Healing the mind-body connection requires patience, understanding, and moving at a pace that aligns with your current capacity. By letting go of expectations to be “healed already” and instead focusing on what your system needs right now, you can build a resilient and compassionate relationship with yourself that supports long-term well-being. It is in this slow, compassionate approach that true transformation unfolds.
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Read more from Kate Lister
Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is a compassionate leader in mind-body connection, drawing from her own profound experiences to shape her practice. Her journey through personal challenges has been a wellspring of insight, allowing her to simplify the complexities of human physiology. Kate's teachings help individuals feel safe, connected, and curious about their intelligent bodies. Passionate about supporting others, she guides people in learning to physically and emotionally regulate, fostering deeper connections and a purposeful existence.
