Nadija is a multi-award-winning trauma and empowerment specialist and holds a double diploma in Hypnotherapy, Mind Coaching, and online therapy. She is also a Reiki master as well as a grief educator and trained with the international grief specialist and best-selling author David Kessler. Nadija is also an end of life doula.
In this article, we will talk about the inner child concept. We will also look into the twelve most powerful ways to nurture and heal our inner child to allow us to live a happier and more fulfilled life in the present as the adults that we are.
Understanding the inner child concept
The concept of the inner child was first introduced by psychologist Carl Jung after he analysed his own childlike inner-feelings and emotions. Jung postulated that it was this inside part of all of us that influenced all we do and the decisions that we make. He said that inner children were us when we were kids that never grew up. Jungians refer to as a puer or puella complex. The Jungian notion of the puer aeternus (male) or (female) puella aeterna – the eternal child – sets the basis for what has come to be commonly known as the "inner child”.
To begin with, let’s clarify that the inner child is real. Not literally. Nor physically of course. But figuratively, metaphorically real. Each one of us has an “inner child” living inside. Yes, you have an inner child. I have an inner child. We all have an inner child. Our inner child is a part of ourselves that has been present ever since we were conceived, through to all stages of our development as adults.
The term "inner child" refers to the part of your subconscious that has been picking up messages long before it was able to fully process what was going on (mentally and emotionally). It is the part of our subconscious mind that retains the feelings, experiences, and memories of our early years. This aspect of our psyche is the repository of our deepest emotions, both joyful and painful. It is that part of ourselves that has been influenced by everything that happened to us throughout the different stage of our development.
Our inner child holds the essence of who we were before the world shaped us with its expectations and pressures. It is where our purest instincts and reactions lie, unfiltered by the rational and critical mind.
Our inner child is a representation of ourselves at multiple points in our childhood, and it is very important to understand that we can have inner children from various ages.
The inner child can often recall good, positive, and uplifting experiences as well as childhood fears, traumas, neglect or significant losses.
I would like to share a beautiful piece by American author Robert Fulghum from his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
“I know what I really want for Christmas.
I want my childhood back.
Nobody is going to give me that. I might give at least the memory of it to myself if I try. I know it doesn't make sense, but since when is Christmas about sense, anyway? It is about a child, of long ago and far away, and it is about the child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of or hearts for something wonderful to happen. A child who is impractical, unrealistic, simpleminded and terribly vulnerable to joy.”
Becoming aware of your inner child
By now, we know that we all have an inner child. But how can we really become aware of our inner child? Are there any specific emotions of behaviours that could be coming from our inner child? Let’s give a few examples below.
Awareness of our inner child is the first crucial step toward healing and nurturing this deeply significant part of ourselves. The process of becoming aware of your inner child involves tuning into your emotions, memories, and experiences with a sense of curiosity, compassion, and openness. Here are some steps to guide you on this deeply transformative and life-changing journey:
1. Embrace self-reflection
Set aside quiet moments for self-reflection. This can be during meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in a peaceful environment. Ask yourself gentle questions about your childhood: "What were my happiest moments? What were my most challenging experiences?" Allow memories and feelings to surface without judgment.
2. Pay attention to emotional triggers
Notice your emotional reactions in everyday life and everyday situations. Strong emotions, especially those that seem disproportionate to the current situation, often indicate unresolved childhood issues. When you feel intense anger, sadness, or fear, take a moment to explore whether these feelings might be connected to your past.
3. Listen to your self-talk
Your inner dialogue can reveal a lot about your inner child. If you find yourself using phrases like "This is childish" or "I’m not good enough," these may be echoes of your younger self seeking attention and validation. Acknowledge these thoughts with kindness, compassion, and curiosity.
4. Revisit childhood activities
Engage in activities you enjoyed as a child. Whether it is drawing, playing a sport, or exploring nature, these activities can evoke memories and emotions linked to your inner child. Notice how you feel when you participate in these activities and what memories they bring up.
5. Create a dialogue with your inner child
Imagine having a conversation with your younger self. What would they say about their fears, hopes, and dreams? Writing letters to your inner child or having imaginary dialogues can help you understand their needs and feelings more deeply.
6. Seek patterns in your relationships
Reflect on your relationships with others. Patterns of behaviour, such as seeking approval, extreme people pleasing, avoiding conflict, or feeling unworthy, often originate from childhood experiences. Identifying these patterns can provide clues about your inner child's unmet needs and unresolved wounds.
7. Meditative visualization
Engage in meditative practices that focus on connecting with your inner child. Visualize yourself meeting your younger self in a safe, comforting place. Observe their expressions, listen to their voice, and offer them the love and reassurance they need. This practice can foster a deep emotional connection and awareness.
Becoming aware of your inner child is a powerful journey that unlocks the door to deeper self-understanding, emotional healing, and personal growth. By embracing this process with compassion and patience, you honour your past and create a foundation for a more peaceful and empowered future. Remember, your inner child holds the keys to your most authentic and joyful self. Nurture this connection, and watch as it transforms your life, filling it with love, resilience, and inner peace. You have the strength within you to embark on this journey and to heal and empower yourself in ways you never thought possible.
The importance of healing the inner child
Addressing the inner child’s needs and healing this inner child is crucial in order to achieve emotional balance and personal growth.
Attending to our inner child is not merely an exercise in nostalgia or self-indulgence. It is a profound journey of self-discovery and healing. Many of the challenges we face as adults—anxiety, fear, self-doubt, and unhealthy relationship patterns—stem from unresolved issues rooted in our childhood. By healing our inner child, we reconnect with our authentic selves, release deep-seated emotional wounds, and pave the way for a more peaceful and fulfilling adult life. This process empowers us to live with greater compassion, self-love, and resilience.
This work feels so empowering because it allows you to access buried pain that continues to hurt and guide your decision-making. We need access to our wounds before we can heal. When there is early trauma, healing often means finding your inner child, acknowledging, and tenderly caring for their wounds, and learning how to support them as they heal.
Our inner child can either make it or break it when it comes to us finding happiness.
If you are feeling frustrated or stuck in some aspect of your life, it is most probable that your inner child is needing some attention. Stuck points can look like problems at work, in parenting, finding or keeping love, deepening relationships or setting boundaries.
Twelve ways to heal your inner child
1. Acknowledge your inner child
Begin by recognizing that your inner child exists. It might seem simple, but it is crucial to start by acknowledging your inner child! Give yourself permission to feel and express the emotions that arise when you think about your childhood. This acknowledgment is the first step toward healing.
2. Revisit your childhood memories
Take time to reflect on your early years. Write down both positive and negative experiences that come to your mind. This exercise helps you identify the moments that shaped your inner child's fears and joys.
3. Practice self-compassion
Be kind to yourself. Understand that whatever you feel is valid. Speak to yourself with the same gentleness and compassion you would offer a beloved child.
4. Create a safe space
Establish a physical or mental space where you feel safe and comfortable. This could be a cozy corner in your home or a mental imagery of a peaceful and safe place. Use this space to connect with your inner child regularly.
5. Inner child meditation
Engage in guided meditations that focus on meeting and conversing with your inner child. These meditations can facilitate a deeper connection and provide insights into your inner world.
6. Artistic expression
Allow your inner child to express itself through art. Drawing, painting, or crafting can be therapeutic and help release pent-up emotions. Creativity is a powerful outlet for healing.
7. Use affirmations and positive reinforcement
Incorporate affirmations that address your inner child’s needs. Phrases like "I am safe," "I am loved," and "I am worthy" can help reinforce a sense of security and self-worth. Repeat these affirmations regularly to nurture and heal your inner child.
8. Write letters
Writing a letter to your inner child allows you to connect with that innocent, tender part of you. You can validate their feelings, provide the love and reassurance they longed for, and offer the compassion and wisdom your adult self has gained over the years. This process can help resolve unmet childhood needs and self-beliefs that still influence your adult experiences.
You may want to consider writing a letter to your inner child anytime you struggle with insecurity, self-doubt, emotional wounds from the past…
Once you have done that, it is now time to write a letter as your inner child.
There are many different ways to work with the inner child. One such way, is to allow the inner child to write a letter to you at the age you are at right now. So, for example, if you are 39 today, your inner child is going to write a letter to you (as if they travelled through time to give it to you) at age 39 and today.
You are going to speak or write as the child self. And you are going to speak or write to your adult self that exists right here today. Let whatever happens in this exercise happen. Do not expect the inner child to be any certain way… This act of writing to and as your inner child can be profoundly healing and transformative.
9. Engage in play
Rediscover the joy of play. Engage in activities you loved as a child—whether it is playing with toys, dancing, or exploring nature. Playfulness can reconnect you with your inner child’s innocence and joy.
10. Connect regularly with your inner child
It is key to establish a regular practice for you to get in touch with your precious inner child. It can be a good idea to take five minutes every morning to check in with your inner child and be attentive to what thoughts or feelings come to you. As you do that on a regular basis, your inner child will feel heard, and they will feel that they matter.
11. Build healthy relationships
Surround yourself with supportive, nurturing people. Healthy relationships provide the emotional safety necessary for your inner child to heal. Practice setting boundaries and communicating your needs clearly.
12. Last but not least: seek professional help and support
Consider therapy with a professional who specializes in inner child work. A skilled therapist can guide you through the healing process, helping you uncover and resolve deep-seated issues.
What type of therapy to help with inner child work?
Inner child work can be found in many types of therapy. As a multi award winning, fully qualified and accredited trauma focused hypnotherapist, I can say that inner child hypnosis is extremely powerful to help initiate and maintain an ongoing dialogue between the adult part of the personality and the inner child part and to lead to a reconciliation between the inner child and the mature adult. As we reparent the inner child and move through the healing process, a new, mutually beneficial, and cooperative relationship can be created in which the sometimes-conflicting needs of both the adult self and the child self can be satisfied.
What is truly special about inner child work is its intention to speak to our inner child through their language, a language that is emotionally based and embodied, rather than expressed through intellectual thoughts and words.
Inner child hypnosis will look at the reparenting process, helping you become aware of your inner child, make links with your inner child, heal your inner child, and help your adult self-gain control back in situations where previously your inner child would have been taking the lead.
Living a peaceful adult life
Healing the inner child is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of self-awareness and self-care. As you attend to your inner child's needs, you begin to dismantle the negative patterns and beliefs that have hindered your growth. This journey fosters emotional resilience, self-acceptance, and a profound sense of peace.
By nurturing your inner child, you unlock a wellspring of creativity, joy, and love within yourself. You become more attuned to your true desires and capable of forming healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Ultimately, attending to your inner child is a powerful act of self-empowerment that transforms your life, enabling you to live with greater authenticity and peace.
Embrace this journey with compassion and courage. Remember, healing your inner child is a testament to your strength and a gift to your future self. You have the power to create a life filled with joy, love, and serenity. Start today and watch as your inner child leads you toward a more peaceful, empowered life.
Final words
Hope this gives you a better understanding of the inner child concept and why it is so important to have a relationship with your inner child and hep your inner child heal so you can thrive and move forward with confidence in your adult life.
Remind your adult self today to spend some time with your inner child!
Nadija Bajrami, Strategic Hypnotherapist, Mind Coach
French by birth, Nadija lived in Scotland for 7 years and travelled the world. After recovering from some serious health issues, Nadija had a wake-up call and came to Ireland to find her path. She has been living in Dublin since 2017. Nadija is working mostly online worldwide and shares her time between Ireland, France, and Switzerland.
Nadija is a multi-award-winning trauma and empowerment specialist and holds a double diploma in Hypnotherapy, Mind Coaching, and online therapy. She is also a Reiki master as well as a grief educator and trained with the international grief specialist and best-selling author David Kessler. Nadija is also an end of life doula.
She is dedicated to helping her clients get empowered, supercharge their confidence and self-esteem, overcome their limiting beliefs as well as manage anxiety, and trauma responses. She also helps people on their grief and healing journey through her therapy, coaching, grief education and support programmes and spiritual work.
