Written by: Ali Williams, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As a therapist, many of my clients are working mothers with the common theme of exhaustion and overwhelm. The kids are getting older and life gets more chaotic. With the sports runs, late-night pick-ups, infested piles of dirty clothes to wash, and the endless conveyor belt of food straight into the teenager’s bedroom to clean up, there’s little time to devote to any form of self-nurturing or expansion. Working in the corporate sector also brings the added pressure of needing to perform at your best. No one cares if little Johnny is sick, or if you have your period and feel unwell. Being the go-to for everyone demands more time than is available.
Working mothers should be considered some of the most important people in our world. Why? They hold a greater influence than realized. In the workplace, they are efficient, exceptionally good at prioritizing, and are dedicated employees. They can hold space for others with a level of compassion that allows colleagues to grow professionally and personally. Through managing teams, individuals, systems, and services, corporate women could be considered mothers at work, as well as at home.
In these high-stakes environments, there is a great difference between managing and leading people. Many people can manage well, but great leadership begins with the individual being aware of their own patterns and limitations to positively impact the people around them and beyond.
What does healing work mean?
Each one of us has been through life experiences that have shaped how we think and feel. This determines our actions which then create our reality in the present.
Depending on our environment through childhood, many of us have developed fear-based behaviors, which impact our reactions and decisions.
As an example, if someone experienced trauma at an early age they may find it hard to trust others after they learned to rely on themselves and not ask for help. It can feel unsafe in their nervous system to be vulnerable. They may avoid difficult conversations and confrontations. This can cause someone to lack self-confidence and communication skills.
There are six non-negotiable reasons why corporate working mothers need to activate their healing:
Stop the cycle of suffering.
Set boundaries for wellbeing.
Reduce burnout and overwhelm.
Nurture a growth mindset.
Lead through empowerment.
Create a healthy working culture.
Stop the cycle of suffering
In any family, there is an intangible transfer of trauma and emotional programming passed down through generations. We inherit information stored in our parents’ cells, from their parents’ cells, and so on. We also pass the same on to our children. It is why we see examples of family members repeating the same experiences. When you decide to immerse in healing mindset and nervous system behaviors that are outdated and unhelpful, you create the opportunity for new thoughts and beliefs. You can change cycles and invite new possibilities into your world for you, your children, and those you lead who will be our future leaders and changemakers.
Set boundaries for your wellbeing
No one else is going to fill the bath with rose petals for you or ask you what you need. When you can say ‘no’ more often and reclaim time for yourself, you have a chance to reset your stressometer and regulate your adrenal system. Self-nurturing activities stimulate chemicals in our brains such as dopamine and serotonin which are essential for feeling happy and capable.
It may take practice, but the more you advocate for your wellbeing the more you will feel like you are in control of life, rather than it being in control of you. Another perk to establishing boundaries is deciding who you will spend your time with, when, and for how long. Say goodbye to the dread of feeling obligated and resentful.
Reduce burnout and overwhelm
Imagine how it would feel to start each day without the stress of the unmanageable to-do list. Understanding how your brain and nervous system respond to pressure will enable you to regulate your emotions and reduce your fight or flight response more quickly. There will always be many tasks to complete. However approaching your busy schedule feeling calmer will help you prioritize, delegate, and reschedule without the guilt.
Consider the long-term health benefits of reducing the production of excess cortisol and adrenaline. You will think clearer, feel more energetic, sleep better, be less reactive to others, feel more joyful, and reignite your passion for life.
Nurture a growth mindset
Show up for yourself, your family, and your team with an attitude of always striving to be better. Be solution-focused, rather than problem-focused. Be accepting of difficult challenges, knowing you will work through them and learn more about yourself, and will support others to learn about themselves as they develop their consciousness.
Embrace your awareness of your strengths and weaknesses to identify areas of development. Take responsibility for behaviors that are limiting, or that have impacted others negatively. Be open to guidance, mentoring, and feedback to reconnect to your higher wisdom.
Lead through empowerment
When you take responsibility for your happiness and healing you empower yourself in wellness, resilience, and potentiality. You will feel worthy, capable, and inspired. Your leadership qualities will include confidence to motivate teams to complete projects with integrity.
When you empower yourself, you empower others. Nurturing others’ strengths and talents will encourage team members to invest in their learning and knowledge development. Opportunities will present that are unexpected, and your team will be admired by others within the organization.
Create a healthy work culture
In a working environment where team members are valued, they work together for the benefit of the organization. Relationships are strengthened. Trust in the workplace allows individuals to feel they are contributing in a meaningful way. This builds self-confidence and increases motivation.
A positive, inclusive work culture increases productivity and optimistic interactions between employees. When individuals enjoy work satisfaction, it flows into their relationships in the community and their families.
When you enjoy your role as a corporate working mum, you also contribute to the wellbeing of your colleagues and your family.
Healing for power
Working mothers who actively take responsibility for their healing embody a personal power that not only elevates their effectiveness in the workplace but also as wise guardians for the future. They hold their own evolution in their hearts, and that of others in their hands.
Mothers are in the powerful position of either encouraging their children’s individuality through acceptance or fostering shame through criticism. If a mother is focused on healing, her children will not repeat the same patterns as their past generations. They will create a future of unlimited possibilities through courageous decisions and adventures. They will feel confident to forge their own path and not follow the sheep. We have the power to help our children break the mold of the mundane. What a gift.
Where do you start?
To start the healing process, the most critical step is to acknowledge all that is true for you right now and build from that point.
When working with a client I focus on four pillars Confess, Accept, Release, and Heal. It is the uncomplicated blueprint to transform through the limiting beliefs and behaviors we have developed subconsciously. We must first unlock the codes of the past in understanding how our experiences have created who we are today. This powerful information will make sense. It will be your light bulb moment of self-awareness. You will change the communication highway between the brain and the nervous system. You will deepen your connection to yourself and what inspires you. You will release self-criticism and doubt, and you will gain clarity about what you want in life. Who doesn’t want that?
To get started, access this free resource to understand three ways your life experiences are impacting you that you may not realize. Purchase the book, The Glorious Responsibility of Happiness for a daily perception check. Contact Ali to enquire how you can take the first steps towards your healing for power.
Ali Williams, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ali Williams is the 'uncomplicated' therapist specialising in healing trauma codes in the brain and body. After losing her mother at the age of 16 to breast cancer, and receiving two cancer diagnoses herself, Ali chose wisdom, not war. After studying formally to become a qualified therapist, Ali has developed programs and strategies to help women focus on healing their own lives. Her first published book reflects the theme of taking responsibility for happiness. Ali believes everyone has the opportunity to claim their birth right to be happy regardless of circumstances.
