Written by: Kamini Wood, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-worth, an extreme need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and consideration for other people. According to research, the men and women narcissist ratio is 2:1, which means that on every female narcissist come two men with the same personality disorder.
How to recognize a narcissist?
Your partner doesn’t need to be diagnosed with a narcissist personality disorder. Nevertheless, they can still have some of the narcissist personality traits that will make your relationship with them a real challenge.
People with narcissistic personality disorder always put their needs first. They usually display demanding, manipulative, arrogant, and self-centered behavior. Furthermore, they always have excuses for their actions and tend to blame others for their failures. Also, your narcissistic partner always knows the best. They may lack empathy for your feelings and needs, never genuinely paying attention to how you feel or what you want. They may even act demanding and/or controlling and be emotionally abusive.
Does your partner make fun of you and laughs at your flaws in front of your friends or family but get offended when their behavior upsets you? On the other hand, your partner expects constant attention and admiration, believing that they are better than anyone else and should be treated correspondingly?
If you recognize your partner’s behavioral patterns in the aforementioned, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
How to manage a relationship with a narcissist
There are some strategies you can learn so you can handle your relationship with a narcissist.
1. Establish Firm Boundaries
One of the most common issues you’ll face when dealing with a narcissist is their inability of true reciprocity in relationships. Your narcissistic partner doesn’t understand your needs. They tend to build relationships on fusion and toxic co-dependency, which means that they cannot see you as someone who exists outside of their own needs. For that reason, they may regularly break your boundaries and test your limits.
If keeping up a relationship with a narcissist is important to you, make sure to set firm and healthy boundaries. Let them know which behaviors you will tolerate and which you won’t. The narcissist will most likely try everything to rebel against your boundaries, but you need to stay firm and consistent.
2. Don’t Fall for Narcissist’s Charm
Narcissists can be very charming and appealing. You might be attracted by their confidence and charisma. They will make you feel important, loved, and alive and make you believe that they will fulfill your need to feel valuable. However, this is only a dream. Once you get to know them, you will realize that they don’t look for an equal partner but for someone who will obey and admire them.
Moreover, narcissists usually manipulate, lie and disrespect other people. So, pay attention to the way your partner treats others because, eventually, they will treat you the same way. Instead of focusing on satisfying the narcissist's needs, try to focus on your own dreams and your personal growth.
3. Seek Support
If you decide to maintain a relationship with a narcissist, adjust your expectations and have a realistic view of your relationship. Also, surround yourself with positive people. Talk to those who validate you for who you really are and give you an honest reflection of your thoughts and feelings.
If you feel that your relationship with a narcissist is something you cannot handle alone, seek help.
Kamini Wood, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Kamini Wood is the founder and CEO of Live Joy Your Way and the AuthenticMe® RiseUp program. An international best-selling author Kamini is driven to support people of all ages to heal their relationship with themselves and to stop outsourcing their self-worth. As a result, her clients become their own confident, resilient self-leader with healthier relationships. Kamini is a certified life coach, board-certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners, holds specialty certifications in Calling in the One®, Conscious Uncoupling®, NewMoney Story®, and teen life coaching. Also trained in conscious parenting, Kamini aims to meet her clients where they are, supporting and guiding them on their journey to where they want to be, both personally and professionally. Her mission: create space for each person to see the unique gifts they bring to this world.
