Written by: Nadia Chapman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Yes, that’s right! Habits rule our lives, and they can be very hard to break! Understanding where our actions and behaviors come from and how we get stuck in the same patterns, whether good or bad, is crucial in creating change and new long-lasting positive ways of doing things. I’m sure you’ve failed at changing bad habits for good ones at some point in your life. Most people don’t really understand what habits are in the first place. Habits are automated choices or routines that we make on a daily basis, so basically, the choices we make every day. If you think about it, our routine determines our quality of life.
Habits Are Driven by Pleasure
First, it’s important to understand that habits are driven by pleasure. Pleasure and what makes us feel good is what drives our habit loop. As human beings, we love to choose things that are pleasurable, enjoyable and gratifying. It’s no wonder it feels so difficult to break a bad habit, and it was created because it felt great in the first place! At some point in your life, you might have created a particular action (habit) to fill a void, soothe yourself, calm yourself down, and simply just to make yourself feel better.
For instance, someone who is stressed out will smoke a cigarette to relax and feel better and comfortable, or someone who is bored might eat junk food because it will make them feel more content and satisfied. Another great example of how habits are driven by pleasure would be someone who is unhappy and unfulfilled and whose bad habit is to reach for a glass of wine so they can experience some degree of enjoyment after a long day. When we do pleasurable things, it raises our dopamine levels, and we suddenly feel better, but this is only temporary. Often, habits are created to distract us from how we feel, and the ecstatic feeling is only momentary.
The Habit Loop
There is an important pattern to understand here. Compulsions are a defense mechanism. We behave a certain way to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings. The daily choices we make and our behavior are mostly based on how we feel. First, we think, second we feel, and finally we take action or behave a certain way. Basically, we act on how we feel and not necessarily on what we think.
Let’s say someone wants to lose weight, but created a series of unhealthy habits that prevent them from losing the extra pounds. In that person’s mind she or he might thinking “I want to stop eating processed food, and get healthy!” They know what they need to do in order to get healthy! Their conscious, rational mind tells them what they need to do to change. That’s the easy part! However, when it’s time to take action and let go of the unhealthy habits they might feel stuck, scared, anxious, unmotivated, lost, depressed, because change is uncomfortable and they haven’t connected the new habit with pleasure yet. It can be painful to let go of what you know, even if it’s not serving you in any way. When faced with switching gears and replacing a habit, most people let go of what they know is best for them, and go back to what brings them pleasure and satisfaction instead.
How to Break The Cycle?
So, how do we break the cycle of bad habits once and for all? Habits are really the foundation of our lives, and they guide us throughout our day. Our habits affect the way we think and behave the things we do and how we do it. It’s no wonder most people have new year’s resolutions they can’t even keep pass the second week in January! This is why it’s so important to understand how habits work because that’s how you will be able to recognize your negative patterns and create new more positive habits.
The 3 Components Of A Habit
Habits are triggered by a cue! Something happens and then suddenly, we act a certain way, or behave in a certain way. This is called the reminder. After the trigger or reminder, we fall into a pattern, a routine, and automatically redo the same thing. Finally comes the prize, the reward, the feel-good afterward, this is that satisfactory factor that we get addicted to. To change a habit, you need to modify or change any of these 3 things; the reminder (cue), the routine (habit), and the reward!
The Cues/Reminders/Triggers
When you identify a habit you want to change, you’ve got to identify what the reminder is, that's the cue, the trigger that starts it all. Your brain activates habits before you even realize it! Sounds like you can't do anything about it, but if you know and understand your triggers, you can learn to control them. Triggers or cues can be anything, but pay attention to the following; time, place, emotions, people, and preceding events. When I say “time”, I’m talking about a particular time of the day or of the week, or something in your schedule that can trigger a habit.
Time
For instance, it’s 5 o’clock and you are done with work, so you feel that you deserve a treat. Or, it’s Friday evening and you want to let go of your stressful week at work, so you are going to do XYZ! The good news is that identifying a trigger is fairly easy, and controlling the way you feel about it is also pretty straightforward.
Environment
A place or finding yourself in a certain environment can also trigger your brain. For instance, when you are in the car you bite your nails when sitting in traffic. Or, when you work from your home office, you feel like binge-eating a bag of chips while at your desk. This trigger is quite easy to address since you can build awareness on how that specific place can trigger you into behaving a certain way.
Emotions
Emotions are big triggers! Since we don’t like to feel pain, sadness, boredom, or whatever negative emotion that comes in, we cope with something that makes us feel good. Negative emotions trigger habits because our brain wants to choose things that make us feel good such as comfort food, a glass of wine, a cigarette, etc. When we experience negative emotions and create negative habits we have to replace what we are doing with something positive.
People
People can also be triggers. Dealing with certain people can be a source of stress and emotion. If you pay attention and notice how certain people trigger you in a negative way and how they can influence your actions and behavior, you can choose to react in
a different way.
Unprecedent Events
Identifying unprecedented events is just another way of breaking unwanted habits. Unprecedented events are a combination of many triggers. For example, in the morning, you drop the kids off to school, walk the dog, clean the kitchen, and before you get to work you find yourself always wasting extra time on social media. You want to break that habit, but every day after your morning routine you grab the phone and get sucked into it.
Another example of changing the trigger could be changing from drinking coffee once you sit at your desk to reaching for a glass of water instead. Or, literally, change where you do your work and move your computer from your desk to the living room.
The Routine/ The Habit
When a reminder triggers a habit, it means the brain engages in a routine as a response. Routines are actions we automatically do after the trigger, so the actual action and the habit itself. Smoking, binge eating, biting your nails, wasting time on your phone, etc., are all great examples of bad habits. Changing the routine could be that instead of watching TV for 2 hours before going to bed to unwind, someone would consciously choose a new activity to unwind, such as taking a bath or reading a book.
The Reward
When we repeat our habits, we get the reward, the feel-good sensation that makes us come back for more. Let’s say you are done with work after a long day, and you need to drink a glass of wine to unwind; the reward is that you then feel better and happier. The reward is what you obtain out of doing the behavior. The reward doesn’t have to be big, but it’s always positive. So, as long as it’s positive and it brings you pleasure, you will keep doing what you are doing because it feels good.
In order to change bad habits to good one, you can also change the reward. Instead of thinking, “Oh, fast food brings a sense of security and tastes good after a long day.” You can say, “Eating healthy brings me health, I will lose weight, so I will feel better and look better.” That would be a great new positive reward.
Understanding and Changing habits
Changing your habits takes a lot of hard work, so understanding how they are formed and what the habit loop entails will help you stay on track. I challenge you to start noticing your patterns and the things you wish to change today! Awareness, repetition and consistency will help you make the new behavior a new habit and then be part of your lifestyle. Keep track of your progress often, and don’t forget to celebrate your small victories.
If you need help in your habit change journey, get support from someone such as a coach, a friend, a spouse, or someone who can hold you accountable. Every day, when you fall back into your old patterns, remind yourself that your choices create your reality. Ask yourself, “Is this aligned with what I want? Yes or No.” Little by little, you can shift things around!
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Nadia Chapman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magainze Nadia Chapman is a leader in transformational coaching. She is a certified health and life coach, Law of attraction and success coach, and NLP practitioner. She loves to bring her wisdom, contagious optimism, and life experience to her many projects and with her clients. Nadia is also a professional figure skating coach and lives on an organic farm, she understands firsthand that a healthy body and mind are the foundation to a happy life. She is the host of "The Nadia Chapman Show," a podcast designed to inspire and motivate people with life-changing hacks on habit change, positive mindset, and wellness. Nadia was born in Montreal, Canada, and lived in France for many years before settling in Southern California with her family.
