Written by: Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This article forms part of a series explaining my model of healing from life’s challenges and adversities.
In my previous article, I spoke about resilience and how you use resilience to survive, how to make meaning of your experiences, and how to reframe, refocus, and redirect your energies.
The next step on this journey of healing is to develop your grit to grow and to thrive. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines grit as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit”.
According to Angela Duckworth of the University of Pennsylvania, grit is the tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward long-term goals. Grit is an important quality to develop. Although you may be talented, intelligent, and creative, without grit, without that drive, you do not achieve success, and you do not thrive.
Grit is closely related to resilience and is your passion, perseverance, patience, and persistence towards achieving long-term goals. It requires sustained commitment to complete a specific task despite failures or setbacks. It is forging forward to a new reality with an attitude of seeking, striving, and finding without giving up.
You can develop your P’s by growing your grit.
Growing The G's Of Grit
Groundwork
It is easier to have grit when you are working towards something you love and towards achieving your purpose. It may require groundwork to discover what your real purpose is. Reflect on times when you felt good, when you were successful, and when you were happy. Consider what you find yourself thinking about and where your attention goes. How do you enjoy spending your time? Examine those experiences in detail and identify what contributed to those positive moments and outcomes. Map the high and low points and identify any associated emotions.
Games
Discover your passion through play. Experiment, explore, exchange ideas. Look back to your childhood games (See my article on Finding Your Passion – Your True Calling)
Goal
When you identify and clarify your dreams, visions, aspirations, goals, and intentions, you can approach achieving them with grit. Here is my example of these concepts:
My Dream is to eradicate sexual and gender-based harassment and violence, especially against women and children, around the world.
My Vision is that men and boys (and women and girls) learn the qualities that make them BRAVE, to underhand Boundaries, Respect, Agreement, Values, and Equality.
My Aspiration is to be the most sought-after coach that people turn to when needing to manage their trauma, to develop their resilience and grit, and to forgive the past transgressions.
My Goal is to run an online and face-to-face coaching business and attract and connect with 10 new clients a month. Another goal is to teach 40 men and boys each month to be BRAVE. A third goal is to develop and deliver keynote talks sharing my message of freedom.
My Intention is to guide my clients to find peace and freedom from their trauma.
Guidelines
It makes sense to develop a blueprint, a road map, to turn your intentions into actions. This will assist you in monitoring your progress and encourage perseverance.
Gift
Have trust in your innate talents and gifts. Know that you have the answers and the solutions within and that you can develop and grow.
Grow
Grow your courage and manage your fear of failure. Embrace it as part of the process. Acknowledge mistakes immediately and accept them as feedback of what you are not doing right YET. Failure is not defeated. It is an opportunity to practice persistence, to make changes and to have another go, and to grow.
Growth Mindset
See a challenge or and adversity as an opportunity to learn how to deal positively with mistakes or failures, how to overcome obstacles. See these as temporary blockages, discover the lessons within and refine your strategy. Be persistent in embracing the challenges. You can change and grow, and your experiences encourage new stronger neuron connections in your brain which makes you smarter.
Guilt
Let go of guilt and shame and blame. It is pointless blaming others. Take responsibility for the mistakes and learn from them.
Gradual
Break your goals into smaller action points and identify the key objectives. Measure and celebrate all milestones on your journey.
Give and Be Generous
You develop a benefit mindset when you give and when you understand that we are all connected. You gain more value in your life when you give to others and when what you do contributes to their well-being, learning, and success, and it makes a meaningful difference in their lives. Share your time, knowledge, expertise, and experience with the individuals around you and the community at large. Create a sense of “we.” This motivates you to develop and deepen your drive, so look for the prosocial benefits of your work.
Grind
Grinding is the activity involving effort or exertion. Practice your skills, or grit, with a deliberate focus. This requires full attention and concentration on your purpose and on your stretch goal, your goal that is greater than your current abilities. Develop intentional habits and apply dedication, commitment, and self-control to your activities.
Guide
Find a coach, a mentor, or a guide to support you in achieving your goals.
Grasp
Understand that striving for excellence is working towards success while perfectionism is avoiding failure and is an extreme concern over making mistakes. Excellence is an attitude that requires effort, interest, persistence, and commitment (grit) over a period of time to achieve outstanding success. It involves risk, creativity, spontaneity, vulnerability, hard work, and focus despite any setbacks or challenges.
Grapple
At times you may find yourself frustrated, bored, or may even wrestle with the worthiness of your passion. When things go wrong, and you miss deadlines or cannot find a solution to a challenge, you may be filled with anxiety and stress, and disappointment and may want to give up. Go back to your purpose and realize that you are contributing to something larger than yourself. Look at your why, the reason you chose this project or route. Revisit your expectations.
Giants
Research and study the success of others. Find these examples of giants who have achieved greatness, who have thrived. Listen to their stories. Read books on your topic and on grit and look at the patterns and trends. Be inspired by them.
Gain
Gain confidence. Push out of your comfort zone and do something new and courageous. Believe in your abilities and know that comparing yourself to others is not helpful. Practice positive self-talk.
Grounded
Remain grounded. Stay focused on the present. Be sensible and reasonable. Believe in your strength and your purpose.
Guru
You are the expert, the authority on your passion and purpose. Only you can do you.
Glue
Stick to your plan with persistence. Find an accountability partner, someone who can check in on your progress towards achieving your goal. Get immediate and constructive feedback and make the necessary adjustments. Keep at it and continue to focus on the end result when times get tough and the excitement has waned.
It is also about getting unstuck, managing distractions, and dealing positively with your challenges.
Glass half full / half-empty
Know that the glass is always full. It may be half full of gas and half full of liquid and is always full. You have all that you need inside you to be productive and successful.
Groups
Join groups, masterminds, and networking events of like-minded people. Create spaces where you can learn from each other and encourage and support each other.
Gratitude
Praise your strategy, your process, and your effort, and celebrate each win. Yes, you have the talent, intelligence, and creativity, and be grateful that you have the passion, perseverance, persistence, and patience to keep going,
Gut
Trust your gut feelings, your intuition, and follow them after due analysis and consideration.
Go – Keep Going
Follow through even when you are fearful of the process, and things appear unsurmountable. Focus on your purpose and desired outcome.
Get out
Sometimes grit is not enough. You need to recognize when it is time to get out and quit. Let go when you see that some of the requirements are not within your range of talents or passions. Perhaps your skills would be better utilized elsewhere. You can always outsource the activities that do not serve you.
Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself down.
Breathe.
Learn from your mistake.
Forgive yourself.
Laugh.
Continue with renewed determination and vigor.
In my next article, I will talk about forgiveness.
For more info, follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube-Channel, and visit my website!
Lois Wagner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lois Wagner: Your friend for forgiveness. Helping you move from victim to survivor to thriver and beyond and then to freedom, after facing a life or business challenge or adversity.
Lois lost a business and went bankrupt. She was attacked, raped, and left for dead. She was forced into retirement and experienced many other challenges. Her work is based on these personal major adversities and life experiences. Lois learned to forgive (she forgave the rapist and the business partner who betrayed her) and moved on to a more rewarding and fulfilling life.
Lois guides you through building your resilience and grit, developing a growth mindset, energizing your mojo, and learn to forgive. This is achieved via one-on-one coaching, group masterminds, and keynote presentations.
Lois’s book – Walking Without Skin: A Journey of Healing – From Fear to Forgiveness to Freedom is part memoir and self-help guide.
Fly Free with Lois – Your Friend for Forgiveness
