Written by: Carole L. Sanek, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Grief has taught me many things and as I walked through it, I couldn’t help but remember the times as a child I would grieve on my own over the deaths of my grandparents. I did not have one clue at that time grief would use its tentacles and wrap them around my heart over and over again in life.
When my father passed away, I was a young woman with 2 babies of my own and I stumbled around for a long time just going through the motions. I had lost my prince, my kind and loving father and that was the first time I really knew grief is a thief. Like time, grief steals and it feels like they work in tandem.
I did not come face to face with grief again for years and when I did it was a sucker punch to my heart. At 39, my wonderful brother died. I was thrown off track. I was suddenly an only child and dammit he was supposed to grow old with me.
This is when I realized there are lessons in grieving.
Grief taught me the loss is inevitable and to never take loved ones for granted. Grief taught me every day is an opportunity to create memories I could fall back on and call them up on my worst days.
Grief taught me to find my purpose in life. It took over 2 years to realize what that purpose was and I have picked that purpose up, dusted it off and I run with it every day.
I became a certified life coach within months of my husband’s death because when he died, I lived through the worst time of my life and I survived. I knew I could help others.
Grief taught me I can laugh because I learned pain and joy can coexist. I have beautiful days, I have beautiful memories, I have a beautiful love in my heart for the man I took till death do us part. Grief taught me death does not part us. I learned you don’t stop loving anyone who has died. It is impossible to stop.
I learned to look for positive things as often as I could. Time, that other thief, continued to move forward and I felt stuck. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t eat, I barely slept, and then one day I learned I had to begin to those things again in order to help others.
I learned I will always love everyone who is gone, grief has no time limit and I will always carry it with me.
Recently I realized my late husband would be so proud of me if he could see where I am today, what I do every day, how I have taken everything he taught me and turned it into an exciting life.
This is how I know I am still loved. Grief can’t take that away from me ever. I own that love. I earned that love and I have many more lessons to learn because grief walks next to me with every step I take and sometimes I am slightly ahead of it, and sometimes grief takes the lead.
Carole Sanek, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Carole L. Sanek is a certified life coach specializing in personal coaching from a perspective of understanding grief. Carole is also an author and her book Fractured-Living with Grief was published in 2021. Her daily 2 minute podcast, thrivelivethrivezone, is available on all podcast platforms. Carole is currently working on a film project and is producing a docuseries about thriving in life. She welcomes people to reach out to her.
