Sara El Haouari, founder of Healing OM Spiritual Coaching, is a spiritual coach, energy healer, and somatic alignment facilitator. Shaped by a tumultuous childhood and personal adversity, Sara has learned to harness the power of self-discovery for inner healing.
Have you ever felt the weight of grief, a heaviness that comes not just from losing someone dear but from realising that life, in all its fragility, will never be the same again? When we face such moments, they shake the foundations of our world, leaving us vulnerable, confused, and often lost. Yet amidst the devastation, there is a strange beauty. It strips us bare, but it also brings transformation, healing, and renewal. This article is based on my personal encounter with grief and the wisdom it has taught me.
First of all, what does grief really feel like?
Grief is not just sadness. It's a raw, overwhelming force that can shake the very core of who you are. One moment, someone is here, and the next, they are gone, leaving behind a sense of emptiness that words can hardly express. It’s a shock, a profound one that forces you to confront reality. It strips away the masks and facades, leaving us exposed. And it makes you wonder: am I living my life fully? Am I cherishing the time I have with the people I love?
The emotions that accompany a significant loss aren’t just mental or emotional. They can manifest physically, too. That weight on your chest, the knot in your stomach, and the numbness are all part of the process. And while this experience often feels isolating, it’s a universal one.
The stages of grief: Why it’s not a linear process
The stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are often discussed, but rarely do they unfold in a neat, orderly way. You might find yourself bouncing between these stages, or you may linger in one longer than others. Denial can strike even after you have accepted the reality of the situation. Anger might resurface months later, and moments of sadness can appear unexpectedly long after you thought you had healed.
It’s important to acknowledge that the emotional journey is as unique as the relationship you had with the person who has passed. There’s no ‘right’ way to go through it. The key is allowing yourself to feel the waves as they come without judgment or pressure to rush the process.
What grief taught me: My personal story
My own journey through this difficult process was transformative in ways I could never have predicted. The loss of two grandmothers within five months between 2021 and 2022 shattered my world. I thought I understood what it meant to lose someone, but nothing prepared me for that level of devastation. Surprisingly, their passing forced me to confront how much I had taken life for granted and how little I was embracing the present.
The experience tore down walls I didn’t even know. I had built walls of denial, distractions, and misplaced priorities. It exposed every unhealed wound but also brought a deep sense of perspective. Through the pain, I found clarity. It helped me see the things I wasn’t fully living for. It wasn’t just about missing my loved ones; it was about facing the parts of myself I had been avoiding, the guilt, the regrets, and the “what ifs.”
The greatest lesson it brought me was that pain is nothing but an expression of how deeply we have loved.
A journey of rebirth: Grieving the loss of who you were
When we lose someone, we also process internal shifts within ourselves. One of the most overlooked aspects of bereavement is grieving for the parts of yourself that change as a result. As we grow and evolve, we inevitably leave behind old versions of ourselves, such as our beliefs, dreams, and identities, that no longer serve us. This form of loss can feel confusing and lonely because it isn’t just tied to the person you have lost but to your own transformation.
The process of grieving, whether for a loved one or for the person you once were, is an invitation to rebirth. Just as nature moves through cycles, so do we. In shedding what no longer fits, we make space for new growth, for a version of ourselves that is more aligned with who we are becoming.
Navigating grief: A few practical steps
While grief is deeply personal, there are ways to navigate through it with greater awareness:
Allow yourself to feel everything: Don’t suppress your emotions. Grief is raw and real, and the more you allow yourself to feel it, the more healing can begin.
Talk about your grief: Share your experience and let others support you.
Seek comfort in rituals: Whether it's lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or simply talking to your loved one who has passed, create rituals that allow you to honour what is in your heart.
Find meaning in the loss: What has grief taught you? What can you take from this experience to grow, live more fully, and love more deeply?
Why is grief still a taboo?
In many Western cultures, the topic of death remains taboo, something we are expected to hide or move through quickly. People often feel uncomfortable discussing loss, as though speaking about it might bring bad luck. Society tends to pressure us to "get over it" and return to our normal lives, yet no one is ever quite the same after experiencing a significant loss. It leaves a permanent mark—it’s like a scar that heals but never fully disappears.
By contrast, in many Indigenous and shamanic cultures, death is viewed as a natural, even sacred, part of life. These communities often gather to celebrate the deceased’s journey. Grief is embraced rather than feared, seen as a powerful transition for both the living and the dead. This perspective can offer a more compassionate, holistic approach, inviting us to view death not as an ending but as part of the ongoing cycle of life and rebirth.
You don’t have to go through this alone
If you are navigating the deep, often painful waters of loss, I want you to know that you don’t have to walk this path alone. Losing someone dear may make you feel isolated, but there is support available to people who understand, who will hold space for you, and who can help you rebuild your life after loss.
I have walked with many clients through their own grief journeys, and no, I am not here to help you “get over it.” My integrative work is about learning how to live with it, how to grow from it, and how to find new meaning in life. I am here to remind you that you have the strength to rebuild, to heal, and to honour the love that lives on within you.
For a deeper dive into this topic, you can also listen to my podcast “Spill the Spiritual Tea,” Episode 4, “Finding purpose through grief and loss,” where I have a raw and open-hearted conversation with a dear client about her own healing journey. Listen Here.
Grief may change you, but it doesn’t have to defeat you.
Read more from Sara El Haouari
Sara El Haouari, Spiritual Coach, Energy Healer & Somatic Alignment Facilitator
Shaped by a tumultuous childhood and personal adversity, Sara has learned to harness the power of self-discovery for inner healing. Through her own transformative journey, she has discovered her purpose: assisting others in navigating past pain, transcending limitations, unlocking the courage to manifest their best lives, and discovering true freedom.
