Nicky brings her drive and force to the fore in Functional wellness coach programmes. Specializing in recovery support for specific conditions of ME (CFS), Fibromyalgia & long COVID. Her supporting work covers bereaved clients trying to find freedom to move on.
In our fast-paced world, goal setting has evolved into an art form. We aspire to reach high, set ambitious goals and push our limits. We can find ourselves overwhelmed rather than achieving. We must remember when goals become too challenging, they can stifle our potential rather than enhance it. Today, we explore a different perspective: the power to set a balanced goal setting process. Thinking before to emphasizes quality over quantity, we can achieve our objectives without sacrificing well-being or clarity. Join me to redefine goal setting as a sustainable journey. Not to destroy what we have built already.
For some goal setting can create a high overload on our psyche to achieve those set by us or others. This pressure can be constant, being seen to work towards goals on a repetitive basis. Our employment can set goals for targets, training advancement, to deals signed within the week to in some cases each day. It’s not surprising goal setting can cause overload.
'I will be happy once I achieve my goals' – Will you really? Maybe fleetingly but the next goal will be on the horizon before long.
What are the most likely consequences of setting unrealistic goals?
We may achieve a rush of joy but this can fade quite quickly. The hedonic treadmill we run on adapting to our achievements. We become accustomed to them, happiness reduces, and the pursuit of the next goal arises. A cycle of seeking, not quite satisfying us and the hunt for the next high.
Feeling we will be way happier once we reach that goal. Is a mirage. The need to achieve is hardwired sometimes. Happiness is in the here and now and as stated before fleeting at the time of achievement. We cannot predict happiness. This puts tremendous pressure on the goal and sets us up for disappointment if it does not live up to this perceived expectation. We come into life generally happy, crying is just a need for survival not showing us unhappiness. It's external people and our own internal wishes that sets us up to be unhappy. Goal setting is and should be fun but not essential for our life to be productive or be seen as successful.
If your personality is more introvert or easily overwhelmed. Work pressure to be more seen within the company and more active may enforce Coaching for staff to take presentations or training large groups, their job role is adapted. This can run into problems. Although a set goal for a business and its staff is required, it may not be something the individual signed up for originally. Especially if never liked public speaking or being the centre of attention. The goal setting for the company is not in line with the individual succeeding without fear and anxiety developing. Yes, this maybe the perfect way to overcome this fear but for some this never goes away. The goal achieved but the stress stays each time. Goals must be set by the person and truly wanted by them.
Setting what you want to achieve as rigid with no leeway. Think first, how will you feel if it is not achieved? Change that viewpoint to what you can learn on the journey of the goal and if achieved great, if not then that's ok too. Targets change, failure can occur. Driven people can become very fixed and this is when coaching can be unhealthy. Setting unrealistic goals can indeed cause many consequences from failure to achieve, self-esteem reduced and health effected by stress and pressure to get there.
Type A characters love the drive, the race and the challenge. But nowadays we are in this flight or fright mode all the time. Our bodies are stimulated by deadlines, new technologies, family demands, money pressures, social media competition of what others are achieving. Sometimes setting another to do goal is not what we really need for peace and a healthy perspective. Learning to be content with what we have now and achieved is ok. Goal setting can cause dangerous competitive attitudes. Just because everyone is expected to be striving for a goal does not mean it is the law. The mythical nirvana we all seem to be trying to achieve is not achieved by goals.
Advantages and disadvantages of goal setting – The fight to get this right
As you can see the right way to set a goal is important. From who sets it to if the person is attuned or not to the goal deep down? The coach must be considered are they right for the personality of the client and the goal subject? Weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of goal setting is one balancing act. For a person distracted by goals to succeed in, we are always striving into the future. To joy and happiness in the now overlooked. We just do not have time to focus on the here and now. Always on the next step to action by a certain deadline. A step a day, yes indeed this moves us forward, but to what cost if we cannot enjoy the amble of today with our child or that outdoor walk if our mind is whirring on the distant future that’s just an illusion.
Sometimes setting a goal that is easy seems a cop out. Why not do just that, set the intention to use the easiest route possible. The most pleasing treats as you work on the goal. Goal setting for ease. Any fear or anxiousness of how to fit into your time must be ejected and reworked. We do not need to be challenged every day to grow. Modern life is challenging enough. Take a route of least resistance and see where that path goes. A nice challenge for the coach to approach how to achieve this. Upturn the rules and find alternatives to make it work. Reduce that pressure on yourself. Set flexible and longer targets if you have a busy life. Why cram it into a short span of time knowing it will create stress and sacrifice. Hardly gets you motivated, does it?
Choices, chances, changes
Dream big, but flow freely on any path to avoid overload
Dig deep first why you want to achieve that goal you set or if set by others? Analyse the why you chose it? What you will gain? What you may lose on the way to achieve? Is it worth working for it still? Can you choose a suitable route for your health? Never be expected to achieve by others, choose what suits your psyche.
We have a choice to work on goals. We may have chances and opportunities to do some goals on our list. To changes we make after or before the goal must be put in place for that smooth journey to success. We can say no.
Setting that goal can be a great learning curve to fulfilment, just make the path a non-stressful one. You wouldn't travel the world on an adventure without planning a smooth transit as you go. So, approach your goal setting in this way as a safety net for a successful trip. Enjoying the path but knowing you may drift off course and the end will mean some disappointment so the journey is way more important. If you feel personal wellness coaching is of interest please feel free to investigate more.
Read more from Nicky Abell-Francis
Nicky Abell-Francis, Functional Wellness Coach & Bodyworker
Nicky brings her drive and force to the fore in Functional wellness coach programmes. Specializing in recovery support for specific conditions of ME (CFS), Fibromyalgia & long COVID. Her supporting work covers bereaved clients trying to find freedom to move on. Helping to ignite the spark to progress forward once again. Having lost her own husband suddenly, their daughter within months crashed into developing ME(CFS). Nicky went on to train with the Chrysalis Effect programme. Seeing how burnt out & highly stressed clients can tip into crash phase. Developing chronic fatigue and numerous widespread health problems. Over the past ten years Nicky set up her multi therapy clinic.
