Written by: Rebecca Laurel-Hill, RDN, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Why do we give up on our goals? Why do we start and then quit?
There can be various reasons, but from what I’ve observed there are four primary ones, especially when it comes to giving up on weight loss.
First, the goal may not be a true desire and instead, it's a "should" or "ought to".
Second, people don’t create a plan for their known challenges that may arise.
Third, people expect too much too soon, and when they don’t see results fast enough they give up.
Fourth, the methods or strategies they are using to achieve the goal are someone else's and not ideal for them as an individual.
Let's look at each one of these more in-depth.
1. Weight loss feels like a “should” or “ought to”.
You may think you want to lose weight, but do you? In our culture, there is the portrayal of certain body ideals that can mislead us into thinking our body needs changing. Negative body image is an epidemic that drives many people to believe they want to lose weight.
However, oftentimes if we were completely honest with ourselves, we just want to feel confident and happy in our bodies. Feeling confident in your body has very little to do with its shape or size. The feeling of confidence is an inner game and comes from a change in beliefs and your self-concept and has nothing to do with weight loss. I've met many women who lose weight and still do not feel good in their bodies. I have even experienced this myself.
Some people may also feel pressure from friends, family, or even doctors to lose weight. Unfortunately, if your weight loss is someone else's idea you will lack true motivation to stay on the journey of change. If you lack true motivation to achieve a weight loss goal, I suggest trying this exercise called 7 Levels Deep to find your powerful “why”. If you feel pressure from a health professional to reach a certain number on the scale, I recommend sharing this information on Health at Every Size.
2. You don’t have a plan for your challenges.
I believe many people "accidentally" give up on weight loss because they don't reflect on potential challenges and create solutions for them ahead of time. Every person has unique inner and outer challenges when it comes to achieving a specific goal.
Inner challenges are your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, whereas outer challenges are your lifestyle and environment. For example, having young children could be an outer challenge to maintaining an exercise routine. However, for every challenge, there are several potential solutions and you can have strategies in place to help you stay committed when such a predetermined obstacle arises.
Inner obstacles may be less obvious to us but are extremely important to discover and plan for. Do you have certain beliefs about weight loss that could zap your motivation if not addressed? Do you have certain feelings that come up at certain times of day that cause self-sabotage? What thoughts or beliefs are at the root of those feelings and how can you address them so that you can stay committed when they arise?
Here are examples of what inner challenges may sound like:
I’m too tired today.
I’m too busy.
It’s too hard.
I’m not good at this.
I’m confused about what I should do.
I don’t want to have to think about it today.
I just don’t feel like it today.
It doesn't matter right now. I will do it later.
In my book, It’s Just Food. I provide a detailed process to help you uncover and strategize for both inner and outer challenges.
3. Not seeing results fast enough.
This is a big one. Promising fast results is what keeps the diet industry in business. However, when it comes to weight loss, fast results rarely are lasting results. This is one reason why dieting has such a high failure rate and leads to cycles of losing and regaining.
Lasting weight loss comes from lifestyle habits and a belief system that supports those lifestyle habits. It takes time and practice to build new habits and the new beliefs that will sustain them.
Having a powerful "why" helps you stay committed to the process of change. And remember that a truly worthwhile goal is never super easy to accomplish otherwise you would already have it. It's important to have fun on the journey of change without an expectation of a certain result in a certain timeframe. As they say, life is about the journey and not the destination. It's also essential to love yourself through the process by releasing self-judgment and perfectionism.
4. Your weight loss methods are not your own.
In my work, one of the foundational teachings I use to help women find a peaceful relationship with food so that they can lose weight naturally and permanently is to stop looking outside of themselves and their bodies for the answers. People often turn to the diet industry, friends, family, doctors, and so-called gurus for the answers. However, to truly have a healthy and naturally easy relationship with food and the ideal weight you crave, you have to come back home to yourself and your body.
Losing weight naturally and permanently requires you to have self-trust and body trust. Dieting, unfortunately, damages self-trust and body trust. If you have a history of dieting and don’t trust yourself with food or trust your body’s natural ability to lose weight, this is where you need to start. In this article, I talk about honoring yourself and honoring your body’s guidance to find your unique path to optimal wellness.
In summary, to stay committed to your weight loss journey:
Know your true and powerful “why” for change.
See challenges as a normal part of the process and not something that is "wrong". You can easily overcome challenges and stay committed to your weight loss journey by thinking ahead to what your inner and outer challenges may be, and then creating a success plan for them.
Focus on falling in love with the journey of change instead of the end result. Enjoy who you get to practice being until you fully become her.
Develop self-trust and body trust so that you can lose weight intuitively and naturally and be able to keep it off in a way that is perfectly designed for you and your body.
Rebecca Laurel-Hill, RDN, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Rebecca Laurel-Hill is a registered dietitian-nutritionist and mindset coach who previously struggled with exercise bulimia. She teaches other driven, high-achieving women how to end cycles of over-striving, over-stressing, and emotional eating to cope. Her mission in business is to create a world of women who have an easy, healthy relationship with food and love living in their bodies.
