Written by: Eunice Cheung, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Stop waiting for approval, for the blue tick, for permission to start living. Be proactive.
“I feel like in speaking your truth, you’ve given your mum the PERMISSION to do the same”. “You’re right”.
I spoke up and addressed many unresolved conflicts with my parents when I went home last year, after 3 years of being separated from my family due to COVID. Safe to say, it brought up A LOT of tension between me and my parents.
But it happened for the better despite the fact that arguments, disagreements took place. You can read about my reflections here. Life lessons are often disguised as a shitty experience, but with time, space and conscious reflection, you eventually see it as a gift.
I am in a time in my life where I recognize bad shit has to happen for good shit to come, for you to learn to appreciate both sides of a coin.
To learn the art of appreciation that good things come from bad things.
There is no good without the bad.
What was the outcome?
It shifted my communication with my mum and improved our relationship for the better as a result.
It changed my relationship with my mum because me speaking up for myself encouraged her to do the same.
It subtly gave her the permission to do the same.
It gave her the permission she has been craving for (all her life) to speak her OWN truth, her feelings, her thoughts.
And that alone is a huge, for an Asian woman.
As an Asian women, we are bounded by society and culture to not speak up, to not voice our needs, to not OWN our truth because we have to maintain peace and ensure others are happy.
But it often comes at the expense of ourselves. Our authentic selves and our ultimate truth of what we want and what we don’t want.
And for what? So other people can continue to take advantage of us not having a voice? So we can settle for what others want even if it isn’t what we want?
As Hollywood movies start to star more Asian actors, there is an emergence of more Asian representatives in other industries.
Therefore, it is time to recognize that it is our time to shine, rise up and most importantly, speak up.
We will no longer live in silence and suffer within the limits of our own minds.
Give and grant yourself the permission to speak your mind and stop worrying about what others and worry about yourself for once.
Permission.
It’s a word that is associated with many flashback memories of school classrooms, lecture halls and interview rooms.
It is a word that has held us back from taking many chances in life.
All because we think we need external approval for us to go ahead with making our own choices in life.
In adulthood, you will realize you cannot sit around to wait for permission to be given to you.
So here is your takeaway.
You need to go out there and seek answers and solutions yourself.
Seek for opportunities.
Seek for rejections.
Seek for answers.
Seek for clarity.
Seek for help.
Dare enough to seek for a yes.
Dare enough to seek for a no and refine your craft along the way.
The ones who win are the ones who muster up their courage to ask, to live, to seek, to be curious enough to make a change, to try something different.
In giving yourself permission, it also comes with responsibility for the choices you make.
But the beautiful thing is…it’s YOUR choice to make.
”Stop searching for approval from people who aren’t even satisfied with themselves”. – Dan Koe
This week’s takeaway:
Stop searching for permission from people who don’t do the same.
Give yourself permission. Stop waiting.
That’s it for this Newsletter.
Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
Enjoy your week.
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Eunice Cheung, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eunice Cheung is a Psychotherapist. Moving between cities growing up made it difficult for her to fit in with peers which made her question her identity. Since studying Psychology in International Baccalaureate (IB) and in university, she has built her online practice to help others question their limiting self-beliefs and understand the roots of how our conditioning through culture, upbringing can hold us back in life. One of her main focus is on Asian Culture, along with Fear of Failure, Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Relationships & Identity. Eunice is a passionate and ambitious therapist, her mission is to inspire the next generation of Asians to excel, innovate and rise up to their full potential.
