Written by: Terrie Nathan, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It’s common anymore to just go, go, go and push ourselves to the brink. However there is only so much our mind, body, and spirit can take. If you are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and perhaps overextended, it may be time for a little self-compassion.
Self-Compassion is having compassion for oneself. When you think about the compassion you may have for others, do you have that same compassion for yourself?
Do you focus on “What’s Wrong vs What’s Strong”, do you focus on “Judgement instead of Kindness to self”?
Ask yourself, when was the last time that you:
Paid attention to yourself
Were kind to yourself
Remembered that everyone suffers too
Were willing to spend a little me-time
When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives and the lives of others around us.
Perhaps it’s time to give yourself a break!
If this sounds like you at all here are a few tips to get you going in the self-compassion direction.
Become your own best listener
Sitting in silence is one way of tuning into yourself. You can call it mediation, or just tuning in, but whatever you call it, just do it.
Take 1 minute right now to sit quietly.
When a thought arises, silently label it as Thinking…don’t judge the thought, just acknowledge it and move on.
When a feeling arises, silently label it as a Feeling…again don’t judge the emotion, just acknowledge it and move on.
Think of all the things you have in your life that are good and be grateful in that moment.
This is one way of becoming your very own best listener~
Savor that time listening to your inside voice, it will direct you properly if you listen. Just be.
Become Your Very Own Best Friend
When stuff going on in your mind isn’t so great, you can offer yourself kindness as your best friend would.
Think about how you would respond to your best friend at that moment and give yourself the same kindness.
Imagine whatever it is you’d like to hear at that moment, and silently say it to yourself.
It’s ok if you don’t believe it, your inner BFF still knows what you need to hear! The words we speak to ourselves matter. If you need to take a break from negative, draining people, then do so, this is true kindness to self.
Curtail Self-Criticism
We all have an inner critic voice that lets us know we suck. That inner critic can cause sadness as we are naturally tough on ourselves. It’s called the negativity bias, our brain is like velcro for the negative experiences, and Teflon for the positive experiences. The good news is you can reverse this with practice.
When you notice your thoughts turning negative, stop it! You can do it! Just decide to think of something else. Flip the switch to what it is you are doing well.
The good news is this happens more easily with practice. By shifting your attention away from depressing thoughts, the brain re-wires for a happier baseline state of being.
Practice Loving Kindness to Self
Loving-kindness is a practice of sending friendly wishes to yourself (and/or to others too) Silently repeat:
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be safe
May I be peaceful
May I live easily
How does this make you feel? Hopefully good, this practice always helps me to set the tone for starting my day off on the right foot. I also write these on sticky notes and put them on my mirror, notebooks, and refrigerator.
It’s important to realize that self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience~which means it’s something we all go through rather than being something that just happens to “me” alone. Permission to be human and know you are not alone and that YOU can pull yourself into a space of kindness and compassion at any time.
So as you practice daily self-compassion, be kind to yourself, it’s part of the process.
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it’s incomplete.” Buddha
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important human relationship you’ll ever have.
Compassionately, Terrie Nathan
Terrie Nathan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Terrie Nathan is an International Best-selling Author, Coach, Speaker and CEO/Founder of Strong Girl Enterprises. She coaches clients to improve their lives, relationships, and ability to perform in business by setting & achieving goals and building positive routines. She also coaches youth to build their confidence by teaching them strategies on positive self-talk, self-worth and body image.
Her practice is grounded in Positive Psychology, a research-based branch of psychology that studies what really causes people to thrive and flourish in their lives and work, and how we can apply those findings in practical and positive ways.
Terrie has now made it her life's mission to coach these transformational strategies of empowerment by partnering with clients and organizations worldwide.
