Written by: Dr. Adriana Popescu, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
An epidemic of caregiver burnout is well underway. What I and so many other caregiving professionals are seeing is that people who care for others both personally and professionally are struggling, overwhelmed, burdened, and fatigued. They are taxed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
These caregiving individuals are so essential. What else is possible to support them and contribute to them having more ease?
Most of us are caregivers in some way, shape or form, whether we are doctors, nurses, therapists, coaches, managers, friends, parents, or teachers. We look out for other people and put everyone else first; taking a break and caring for ourselves is something that we often overlook.
There is an incredible joy to be found in caregiving. Personally, as a therapist and coach, I find that it is incredibly inspiring to empower my clients and see the positive changes they make in their lives through our work together. However, there are moments when I recognize that I am working too much and not taking care of myself. Not taking enough time to care for me results in feeling cranky, tired and burdened. I notice signs of stress and fatigue in my body. At these times, I have to stop and ask: Am I really at my best if I am not taking care of myself?
When we give and give and give, often putting other people and their needs above our own, we drain and burden ourselves. I saw this with my own family. My father was a doctor who cared so much for his patients he would be up and out the door at the crack of dawn before I was even awake, working nonstop through lunch, surviving only on coffee and cigarettes and collapsing in exhaustion each night. He put everyone ahead of himself, which took an enormous toll on his life, leading to his early demise at age 54.
It makes me wonder…
What can we do to take better care of ourselves?
How can we stave off burnout?
What are some positive and empowering steps we can take to calm and de-stress in the caregiving moments of our days?
What is the deeper work we can do to change the way we interact with the emotions, feelings, and strain that are a common side effect of the caregiving role?
It is imperative that we as caregivers, take time to nurture and replenish ourselves. We see this in the analogy of the airline passenger putting on their own oxygen mask first before helping others. You can’t assist anyone fully when you are running on empty yourself. I find that many caregivers actually resist or feel they don’t need or deserve these replenishing breaks, rest, and relief when they are aware of the suffering of those under their care.
However, we all need to learn to honor our limits and ourselves. In the words of my friend and colleague, author Lauren Polly, as a caregiver, “First it begins with me.” Every day she asks herself: “What needs to change so I can feel cared for?”
Lauren recommends taking mini breaks in your day to recharge, even if it means escaping to the bathroom for a few moments of quiet time. This is one small step that can make an enormous difference. I recently spoke with Lauren on a joint podcast episode in which we talked about caregiver burnout and “compassion fatigue,” where you are simply “tired of caring,” and how to use simple strategies to care for yourself as a caregiver. You can find a replay of that show here.
There are many fast and easy techniques to recharge in just a few moments, including breath work, grounding, tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), meditation, yoga, and gratitude practice, among many others. Many of these stress relief tools can be found on the website for my trauma treatment center, Firebird Healing.
Breathing exercises are my personal go-to to release stress and calm the nervous system. I have several videos on YouTube where you can learn these in under a minute.
As caregivers, we also have to create a community of support. Socialization is a really important part of our psychological health and well-being, as many caregivers feel that they are alone. A key component of having more ease is finding a safe space and supportive and non-judgmental people to talk to about your stress, issues, and struggles. Find a support group, cultivate nurturing friendships, or spend time with a pet or take a few moments to go out in nature.
Lauren and I were inspired to create a special online workshop to help those who are suffering from caregiver burnout. This is a course for everyone to care for yourselves and others and let go of stress and trauma brought on by caregiving. You may just discover a nurturing space where you can learn empowering ways to create more peace and ease for you and your body. You can find this here.
My vision with this program, as with all of my work, is to create a world in which we are honoring ourselves and our bodies and where we take care of ourselves while simultaneously providing the care, so many people require right now.
What would it be like if you actually put yourself first, and recognized that caring for yourself allows you the strength and presence to better care for others?
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Dr. Adriana Popescu, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Adriana Popescu is a licensed clinical psychologist and empowerment coach with over 25 years of experience in the mental health field. She specializes in treating addiction, co-occurring disorders, and trauma, and has directed a number of treatment programs in the San Francisco Bay Area. Adriana has a private practice in San Francisco and travels around the world coaching and facilitating transformational and empowering workshops. She coauthored the Conscious Being, Conscious Recovery, and Conscious Creation Workbooks, and she hosts a fascinating podcast called Kaleidoscope of Possibilities – Alternative Perspectives on Mental Health. She loves to empower people to overcome their imagined limitations, release their self-judgments, and discover the brilliance within – creating a life of infinite possibilities.
