Written by: Dr. Faye Borja, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It seems difficult to imagine that human behavior exists independently of external factors. Yet, we must create meaning for our environment. Perceptions can result from past experiences contributing to the meaning of unconscious inferences, to which we interpret stimuli and modify our responses accordingly.
Let’s consider a few questions:
How can two people experience the same phenomenon, yet perceive them so differently?
How do our past experiences and current knowledge about our environment affect our perception?
How does culture influence our perceptions?
A positive outlook on human experience…
To move through stages of change is to find our motivation, but also to develop awareness that it is possible to become our best selves, which is ever-evolving. There is optimism in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs that everyone has the potential to reach their peak. The belief is that we require basic needs before we can feel fully self-actualized. These necessities begin with physiological needs (food, water, breathing), then security needs (health, financial, physical safety), social needs (friendships, romance, social groups), self-esteem needs (need for appreciation), and finally self-actualization needs (self-awareness).
With this in mind, there are a few more questions that one must ask themselves to gain perspective.
Are my basic needs being met?
Am I safe/secure with a roof over my head?
Do I have people that care about me?
How can I obtain valuable relationships?
Do I like the qualities I have? If not, what kind of person do I want to become?
Psychological distress seems to result from a lack of psychological growth and enhancement. It appears that a culmination of past events, along with continuous exhausting efforts to modify our responses, play a role in human behavior. We have this phrase, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” that people often quote after they have suffered some kind of stress or tragedy. This concept continues to gain attention stemming from Tedeschi and Calhoun’s work on Posttraumatic growth. Posttraumatic growth is a construct that springs from the premise that psychological growth is a result of experiencing challenging events.
How do we grow?
Set daily goals.
We are guided by motivation. We can add meaning to our daily lives by setting and pursuing goals. These goals add a sense of structure and growth.
While it can be quick to take for granted the things and people we have in our lives, stopping to think about what is valuable to us is important in gaining perspective.
Breathe through your uncomfortable feelings.
Do not avoid your feelings. Although uncomfortable, simply feel them. As you do this, take some deep breaths to focus on what you are feeling in the moment and allow these feelings to subside.
Be open to suggestions.
It is okay to feel lost at times. As humans, our nature is to gather and solve problems. Asking for help does not make you less of a person. We will not fulfill our security or social needs if we do not ask for help.
Fully appreciate experiences.
With every touch, smell, taste, sound, and beautiful sight, enjoy each moment. With every tear, fear, or frustration, take the opportunity to learn.
We all experience growing pains. We sometimes derail and lose perspective, leading to an uneasy sense of helplessness. At therapeutic practices such as GO! Therapeutic Services & Supervision, LLC or The Hardy Clinic, expert therapists help you manage anxiety and learn skills that will guide you towards your best self.
Dr. Faye Borja, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Faye Borja is a licensed psychotherapist. Her years of experience in mental healthcare and in leadership has allowed her the opportunity to share her insight within supervisory, training and mentorship roles. She values integrity, honesty, kindness and growth. Running her first marathon is what led her to her doctoral journey. She often says, “if you can achieve any distance, you can go even further.” She owns GO! Therapeutic Services & Supervision, LLC, and is also the Clinical Manager at The Hardy Clinic in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.
