Chifuyu is a therapeutic counsellor and an RTT practitioner. She constantly upgrades her knowledge and skills by learning how our mind works. Why do we suffer from anxiety, depression, and other negative feelings? Why do we feel we can't control these negative thoughts and all the symptoms that come with it? From her own experience, she has had some realization and insights. What is our life? Who's it for? Why are we here?
She wanted to know how the human body works. She realizes that conscious and subconscious minds are the keys to controlling the body. She has learned that this is deeply related to why people behave the way they do, think the way they do, and how we are each living a different reality. Much of our personalities come from how we interpret our past experiences and hold the interpretations as beliefs. Our subconscious mind keeps these beliefs. Chifuyu had gone through some pain in life herself. She also has unknowingly experienced depression and anxiety. After all this, she has understood what made her strong.
Believing in herself. She strongly believes that everyone is more than capable of achieving anything they want. All they need to do is to become aware of their incredible abilities and trust themselves. Everything starts from there, believing in yourself.
She tells her clients that she believes in them 100% and that they can overcome whatever they are suffering from. She also says that it's ok to feel good. It's ok to disagree with others. It's ok to believe in yourself more than others. When you realize you are more than capable and believe in yourself, your life slowly changes as your thoughts and feelings change. The change always starts from inside of you.
Chifuyu Casaclang, Therapeutic Counsellor/ RTT Practitioner
Tell us about your life leading up to becoming a therapist.
I was born and raised in Osaka, Japan. In a small city in Osaka prefecture. My parents have three children, me, a daughter, and two sons. Life in Japan was good. I had a typical fun childhood, I would say. My parents weren't wealthy but did their best to provide what was needed. They always told us they might not have much money but had plenty of love. To this day, my brothers and I consider them the best parents in the world. We are very fortunate. We were free of "should be" and "need to be." That aside, when you grow up in Japan, you learn to obey rules and follow orders very well. You do what they tell you to do. I was one of those kids who didn't question what people told me. I guess this is a good trait but can be a bad one at the same time.
I came to Canada after I graduated from the university. That was still somewhat of a no-no for Japanese society back then. It was especially so for a young woman. People's typical response would be that I should find a job in a great company, work for a few years, and get married. But my parents thankfully always taught us to do what we wanted. So I moved away to practice my English, as learning new languages was always my thing. It was great to immerse myself in a different culture. My life was good for a while. But following whatever people did and listening to their advice had its price. I thought I was supposed to work just like people did and make some money. I thought I was supposed to find someone and get married just like people did. I thought I was supposed to have kids just like people did. I always loved kids. I knew nothing about raising children. But I never really questioned much. I never questioned my beliefs. I didn't even ask what my life was for, what marriage was, what it was to raise children, what I was supposed to do with my life etc. I just went with the flow and thought this was it.
In case you haven’t experienced it, it’s a lot to balance your life when you have a family. Taking care of the house, raising children, thinking about each child’s future, working to make ends meet, and planning your future as a family. Never mind about yourself. I was up to my neck juggling everything. This went on for quite a while. Soon I was becoming the person I hated. I was always irritated and stressed. I felt like I was not appreciated. So I pitied myself and found wrong in myself and everything else. I was not myself. I was unhappy, unappreciative, feeling down and unworthy. And I hated myself every day. I always blamed myself, my partner, and the situation. I felt miserable. I stressed out about everything. I didn't even realize how much I was hurting myself and my family with that stress. Had I not questioned why I was feeling miserable and wanted to change myself, I might have kept walking the life I had and feeling miserable but accepting that this was life and thinking there was nothing I could do about it.
But after three miscarriages, four surgeries, my family’s physical and mental illnesses, four electric shocks from the malfunctioning pacemaker, depression, and anxiety followed by a failed marriage, I guess I've had enough. One day when my stress maxed out, I asked myself, "How much longer do I need to keep going like this?" All of a sudden I got the answer. "2 years" popped into my head. I have no idea why. But this was my sign. I didn’t know what will happen or when anything will happen but somehow I believed that answer. Soon, the reality started to change with me in it. One day, the opportunity presented itself to me. I was asked to be an interpreter for this great Japanese Momotake therapist, Mr. Masatsugu Momo take's seminar. Not only had I got a chance to support his seminar, but I was also given a chance to experience firsthand what his session was like. When he did an "empty chair" therapy session for me, so much of my unnoticed thoughts and feelings came up. It was the first time I looked within myself and questioned who I was. What I was thinking. What I was feeling. It was fascinating. I felt like I was uncovering something of myself. This experience led me to be interested in counselling. Something was pushing me in this direction. Finally, I decided to go for a counselling course to get a license. During this time, I didn't doubt myself like I usually did. I didn't have time for that because I wanted to change so badly. So, the only choice left for me was to believe in myself and go forward.
Even though the situation hadn't changed much, I was noticing that I started feeling better day by day. I wondered why. Because as I said earlier, nothing else had changed much other than me learning something new. And I figured it out. I felt better because I finally found something. I finally started to listen to myself. I finally started to follow my heart’s desire. I was also realizing something else. I was feeling better when I wasn't focusing on the stressful problems so much. I was also feeling good when I was studying my course, thinking about my kids, or spending some time with my friends. It was enlightening awareness. Where I focus is what gives me feelings. Or rather, how I interpret what I focus on gives me thoughts and feelings. When I focused on myself, my children, and some fun stuff, I felt good, and good-feeling thoughts were in my mind. But when I thought about problems, issues, fear, or worry, I started getting stressed out. Focusing on solutions rather than problems also made me feel better. Thankfully school, work, and children kept me busy to not focus on much else. While I was studying for counselling, I also became curious about hypnosis. I wanted to know how people can overcome their emotional issues quickly through hypnosis. I looked online and found RTT. I took an RTT hypnosis course to become a licensed practitioner. Soon after, my friend offered to write articles related to counselling in the local Japanese newspaper. And here I was, two years later, since the day I asked that question, I started my counselling work.
What is unique about your counselling?
I can say my counselling style is unique because it doesn’t necessarily belong to any of the existing theories except for the intention of counselling which is to empower clients. My counselling style is letting my clients understand how our human body and mind work and letting them see how powerful they are. It's not to solve the problems but to support them in understanding themselves and help them find their power within to get through whatever they are going through. I also incorporate some therapy theories in my counselling. Person-centered therapy always resonated with me very much. I love how Carl Rogers' core belief was that people are trustworthy, resourceful, and capable of self-understanding because that's how I feel, too. I believe in people that they are capable of anything they desire and that they are born good. I've also taken some seminars and a course in Gestalt, which focuses on the "now." Our body holds onto the feelings. These feelings have something to say to us. We must go deeper into ourselves to understand what is happening in the present moment. My counselling is about "knowing yourself" and eventually "mastering yourself." I tell my clients how brilliant we humans are. And my clients, who control this human body, are even more brilliant. And above all, I always encourage them to have fun. Because if you have fun with the process, you learn it and make it yours much faster. It also prevents you from blaming yourself or getting too frustrated. My counseling motto is "Those who have fun win it all."
We need to learn how our bodies and minds work to understand ourselves. It's not just "I can cook", or "I'm not good at sports" kind of things. It's why we think the way we do. Because that's where all our reactions, behaviours, and feelings come from. We are what we think. We, humans, have lived way too long being controlled by our default negative patterns which are negative thoughts followed by negative emotions. These patterns started at one point in our life with either hurtful experiences or some situations that affected us negatively and they left marks in our minds. As we either kept living in the same hurtful experience or started looking back and remembering these negative thoughts and emotions, we engrained more into our minds. Unconsciously repeated. And eventually autopiloted. This made us feel we were limited and forget our real worthiness. And because of this, we stressed ourselves out through so many situations and relationships, as if our happiness and well-being are controlled by reality. And like me in the past, many people accept it as a way of life. It's not. We don’t need to stay the same. We don’t need to give into reality. We don’t even need to give in to our habitual thoughts and behaviours. We are discovering and uncovering so much every day. Neuroscience discovered neuroplasticity. Quantum physics is now connecting science to spirituality. Some people are creating miracles by figuring out how to meditate. It means that we can not stay stuck in the beliefs of the past and become open to more possibilities. We get ourselves out of past beliefs and let ourselves welcome possibilities. Free yourself from the limitations. We need to keep evolving. Keep growing. Keep learning. And most importantly, have fun doing it. That’s what our life is all about. It’s almost like the movie, “Eat, pray, love.” Except our life is to “learn, enjoy and love.” I would love for my clients to eventually really enjoy their lives.
What is the message you want to get out to people?
I want to let people know that we are all amazing in our own ways. If you become open to possibilities, there is nothing that you can not do. We tend to get controlled by negative emotions and negative thoughts. When this happens, we start to see the limitations and all the faults and flaws in ourselves. If we are what we think, we can change who we are by changing what we think. So how should we think? It is to go back to how we thought of ourselves when we were kids.
Before any experiences made you start limiting yourself, you were able to purely enjoy being here in the now. You never doubted yourself as a kid. You went for your good feelings, went for your inspirations, went for your curiosity. Everything was for you to learn and have fun with. But as you grew up, people and society's voices started residing in your head. Do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that. You are this, you are that. You started to listen to them and stopped listening to yourself. So here’s what we all can do. I want people to start listening to themselves again. I want you to have fun in life. Follow your heart, do what you love doing, and keep satisfying your curiosity. When you do that, you feel good. You feel happy. And when you are happy, all you want to do is to share your happiness, help and love others. It's a win-win. It's ok to feel good. It's ok to keep yourself happy. And keep in mind that when people act up with their negative emotions, you didn't cause that. 95% of their words and actions were decided already before even interacting with you.
You could say you were a trigger, but you are never a cause. Happy people make people happy. Hurt people hurt people. If you are taken over by negative emotions, chances are, you are hurting yourself a lot. And you stress out. When you are stressed out, your natural reaction is to protect yourself and you interpret almost everything as potential to hurt you. You see, everything is experienced through your interpretation and perception. And you interpret what you focus on. So learn to perceive and interpret reality to your advantage and feel good with the interpretation. Focus on yourself. Know yourself. Master yourself. Learn to keep yourself happy. The world is waiting for your amazing abilities to be used. We are all equally amazing. We each have a life mission. You can’t support and love others if you are stressed out and perceive everything as danger that can hurt you. We obviously can't change the world right away and take away everyone’s stress, but the change starts with each of us. Don’t give up. When you change, you can affect another person to change. And that someone affects someone else. And that's how we change the world.
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