Written by: Monica Yates
The hustle culture of business and entrepreneurship has ignited a movement of opportunity, especially on the rise for women. However, this career-focused lifestyle could be the driving force behind several unfortunate statistics. Not only has fertility in men and women been steadily declining since the 1970s, but depression is also at an all-time high, as well as the number of adults not having sex. America is both the leading country in these statistics and the world's number one capitalist country. The correlation between the two cannot be overlooked.
As we move away from traditional gender roles, both genders must learn how to adapt in a way that fosters good physical and mental health alongside career success. Why should one or the other be compromised? At the going rate, the former is declining rapidly while having a successful career is being prioritized more and more. Women should by no means shrink their goals. However, they should start learning to work smarter, not harder, to excel in all areas of life, and not feel like they have to compromise important aspects of life. Although this article speaks primarily to my fellow women, men can learn a thing or two as well, seeing as depression and suicide rates are higher for men with no change in sight. So pass this along, ladies.
How can sex (or lack thereof) affect your professional life?
Intimacy should not be a luxury you afford yourself. It is a health necessity. If you’re serious about your career, you should be serious about getting intimate regularly. If we look at American career-driven consumer culture, it mimics a fast-paced hamster wheel. If we look at other cultures, French, for example, there’s a slower sense of seduction and playfulness that America has, for the most part, completely deprioritized. That seduction and desire toward oneself, toward connecting with others, and toward creative decision making is equivalent to tapping into infinite life-force-energy. In a professional setting, it is easy to forget that filling your cup of sensuality and sexual desire will, in fact, drive you to be more productive and allow you to go above and beyond at work. Even if you’re not working in a creative industry, you still use the right side of your brain for problem-solving, decision making, team building, and innovation. Human connection drives all of your happy hormones, thus affecting every aspect of your life through the cascade effect. This especially goes for your professional life, seeing as we spend most of our waking hours at work. So with little time left over, that
precious time outside of work needs to include human connection and intimate moments. We’re already backlogged in isolation due to the past two years. It’s time to play catch up.
Women in business: how to stay in touch with your feminine energy
For many women in business, showing up as a powerhouse at work can feel like you’re wearing a shield of masculine armor. If you wish to embody the feminine, switching out of this role after work can be difficult. No matter if you are in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship, polarity dynamics remain fairly consistent. It is very rare in any given moment that both people in a romantic setting are simultaneously leading. In most cases, one person will embody the masculine, taking a leading role, while the other embodies the feminine in the role of receivership. This dynamic can switch back and forth in different situations. Overall, it is not uncommon for women, especially those with demanding careers, to feel disconnected from their sensual desires. This is because most women are operating at about 40% on a scale of zero to one-hundred (one-hundred being total orgasmic sensual bliss). When 40% is your norm, getting anywhere near 100% is a long way to go. It’s no wonder why it takes major effort for you to get in the mood!
What if you could do things that would help you maintain your sensuality at 60-70%? Bridging that gap between you and your feminine energy is a sure way to stay turned on in life. I don’t just mean in bed - I’m talking about that life-force energy. Your divine feminine energy is your source of your joy, creativity, lust, and desire. So what can you do to keep that fire lit rather than having to start from scratch searching for kindling every time you want to get in touch with that energy?
Firstly, start by implementing small things into your day, every day, that ground you back into your body and connect you with some kind of emotion, feeling, or sensation. Allow yourself to have moments where you create space for how you are feeling, and allow that to surface rather than just grinding and pushing through your day. This can look like taking a two-minute break, closing your eyes, placing your hands on your heart, and breathing into your heart space. You can take a walk, listen to music, or make a cup of tea. Have things in your workspace that make you feel something, whether it is flowers or a textured rug underneath your feet. What you wear makes a difference in how you feel, whether it’s lingerie underneath your clothes or the earrings or lipstick you choose. Choose things that make you feel sensual, even in small details.
Secondly, give your partner that permission slip to really take the lead outside of work. This means giving up the reigns! Hold back on any criticism, harshness, or undermining of your partner’s confidence in ways you may not even realize. It’s time to soften and let them lead you. Give up control and realize that just because you’re the boss at work does not mean you are the boss in the bedroom. It may be up to you to open up that conversation and ask your partner what they need from you to feel safe leading when you come home. They need to feel seen just as much as you need to feel like you can let go.
About the author: Monica Yates is a somatic trauma healer, feminine & masculine embodiment coach, period whisperer and podcast host. After struggling with her own health issues, multiple traumatic surgeries and a terrible relationship with men, she finally had to face the issues that she was blissfully unaware of. Her modalities that now help thousands of women and men around the world be free of their big and small trauma. She works with people from all walks of life that are determined to no longer be held back by beliefs, bad habits, health issues, inner child wounds, anxiety, fears etc. She is the CEO of Monica Yates Health and the host of the podcast, Feminine as F*ck.
