Written by: Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you remember your first steps into a formal leadership position? I sure do! Mine began with an unexpected phone call from a former colleague. Surprised and a wee bit curious, I quickly picked up.
“Denise! It’s me, Don! How are you? It's been a while! I don't know if you’ve heard, but the big guy is leaving. The team wants you to apply. We want you back. We need you back. You know why. You know what's wrong and how to help make things right. I’m speaking on behalf of everyone, and I’m personally asking you to please throw your hat in the ring.”
I was stunned, honored, excited, and felt validated all at once. This could be a wonderful opportunity in terms of my career and professional growth. But I also had a bit of trepidation.
You see, while I knew nothing was a guarantee, I knew I had a very credible shot at being promoted if I applied. I worked there for 9 years and had only been gone for 2.5 and am still in touch with many of them. I knew the program, its challenges, and its opportunities. I had been their informal leader. However, I knew this wasn't as simple as “going home.” No matter the circumstance, nothing ever is. This situation posed a different challenge.
I knew them. Oh, did I know that cast of characters! And they knew me. And therein lay the rub. Returning “home” meant returning to lead former peers and colleagues, many of whom I started my career with and were my friends! That could be disastrous and end any aspirations I had of advancing up the ranks before doing so because I knew this: one of the most difficult transitions new leaders face is moving from being a peer and workplace buddy to being in charge. Time and time again, the demise of many good, well-intended people is in part due to failure to successfully navigate this dynamic.
As Don predicted, others reached out to me in a similar fashion. Suffice to say, I applied and was a successful applicant. But not before taking the time to reflect upon my reactions. I didn’t know it at the time, but doing so led to a series of considerations and decisions that would lay the foundation of my entire leadership career, my team's successes, and how I guide others as a coach.
Here are a few decisions and steps I took that can help you steer clear of potential pitfalls when moving from peer to leader:
Embrace & Leverage Your Position As An Informal Leader To Facilitate Change
Going in, I had the advantage of already having credibility and their trust. Instead of shying away from this, I leaned in. The key was BUILDING upon this, not assuming anything, hiding from it, or taking anything for granted. Part of doing this was accepting that things were no longer the same. The minute I accepted this promotion, our relationships were irrevocably changed, no matter how much any of us may have wished it wasn’t so. Relationships needed to shift and be reshaped.
I knew I had to proactively deal with potential gossip about “favoritism” due to who reached out and spoke with me, who I was closer to, and the like. You know, things like: “that Denise! She spoke to so and so and not me! And “did you hear that Jen and Denise use to go out for coffee? Or my former peers feeling slighted because I no longer talked things through with them like before ‘‘Why didn’t you come to me with what’s coming down the pipeline? We use to talk about this kind of thing all the time?” Yikes!
Unintended challenges in team dynamics and relationships could take root before I even started! With this recognition, I made a commitment to separate personal from professional relationships and intentionally strive towards treating everyone with humility and respect. Did I always get it right? Nope. Even when I did, sometimes people still got upset; and that’s ok. It comes with the territory.
Connect With Everyone 1 to 1
One of the first things I did upon arrival was immediately setting up 1:1 meetings with EVERYONE. Fulltime, part-time, and casual; those I knew well to those I didn’t, it didn't matter. The team was small enough for me to meaningfully do so. I wanted to hear how they felt about my return to this role despite what may have been previously saying. Candid dialogue with tons of questions and even more listening helped facilitate changing and establishing new relationships. It empowered all of us to “call out the lurking elephants and their associations,” trying to establish and or maintain their foothold in the group.
1:1s also provided the opportunity for me to share my views and goals for the program. The conversations in these meetings helped me figure out how to balance and incorporate what I was learning strategically and in a way that encompassed everyone. All of this carried forward into team meetings, shaping norms, setting clear expectations, and building culture. It also naturally inspired:
Co-creating Vision And Results
I recognized that my role was to encourage and empower the team to showcase their talents and expertise using their own approach. I was pretty good at that. I loved exchanging and building upon ideas and thrived in environments where this occurred. This was my sweet spot and provided meaning in my work. It helped others and was fun!
Despite all of that, a big lesson I learned along the way was this: sharing “the answer” in some circumstances was less valuable than encouraging others to find the answers within themselves. I had to adjust how I was asking and or responding to questions to ensure input was heard, it was felt I was working with them, and the result was a shared endeavor. Oh boy!
No doubt there’s a lot more. Managing former peers isn’t easy. Sometimes it really can be easier to supervise those you have never met or worked with before. Whether they are rooting for you and ready to follow you as I experienced, there’s no avoiding that there will be challenges and awkward moments. But you can face the potential pitfalls head-on in your own way, too, with awareness, preparation, and action.
If you’re facing your own hurdles managing former peers and would like to develop and master the skills to do so - my group program “From Peer to Leader” is for you! Reach out to me here for a free consultation.
To your success!
Denise Ledi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Denise Ledi is an Empowerment & Executive Leadership Coach based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada serving clients across North America. She has spent more than 20 years as a leader in addiction & mental health, forensics, and correctional healthcare and knows firsthand how complex and challenging it can be to lead in ever-changing environments. Denise integrates real-world leadership experience, experiences as a coaching client with expertise as a certified executive trained coach and Master’s trained Criminologist to provide a unique, innovative, integrative perspective to her clients to help them gain clarity and achieve the measurable results they're looking for.
Denise has been a mentor to 100+ professionals and family, including her younger brother & sister after their mother died and as their father built his Engineering firm into a successful business as a new immigrate to Canada.
Chapter Chair- Powerful Women Today Edmonton, budding podcast host, speaker, and presenter Denise believes that our highest potential is reached by helping others reach theirs. Her primary mission is to empower others to become their best selves, access their whole potential, and make an extraordinary impact on the world!
