Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview
Sami Wunder is a leading, international, results-oriented dating and relationship coach specializing in helping high-achieving, ambitious women to attract and create deeply fulfilling romantic relationships. Sami has built an 8-figure love coaching company serving clients across 55+ countries of the world. Her impressive client roster includes a Hollywood celebrity, many TV stars, and top CEOs and entrepreneurs.
What sets her work and brand apart in the online love coaching space is her client results. Over the last decade, she's helped 900+ of her clients go from single to engaged in record time and helped heal hundreds of marriages and relationships. Sami is based in Germany and lives there with her adoring husband Chris and two beautiful children.
Can you share with us your journey from being an economist in the international development sector to becoming a renowned love coach?
Oh, it's been quite the ride. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that I would end up creating a global love coaching company, an 8-figure brand across 55+ countries at www.samiwunder.com when I started out as a love coach for ambitious women. I went to India´s top College for Commerce and Economics and was a gold medalist in my Economics Honors batch of 2010. I was convinced that my path to becoming a banker in London or Frankfurt was well laid out. I ended up receiving a full scholarship for my Master's in Berlin at the Hertie School of Governance and came to Germany. This is where my personal experiences and struggles with dating showed up and completely shifted the trajectory and the ‘plan’ I had for my life. I always knew I was not ‘just’ an ambitious woman. I cared deeply about having a rich personal life, family and romance but that seemed quite challenging to find. After a series of dating episodes where I got ghosted on or was told, ‘You´re lovely Sami but I don´t feel it for you,’ I started to get exhausted and unmotivated to date. But just like a lot of my clients today, I continued to assume that the ‘men were the problem’ and they were intimidated by my brains and success. This went on till I met a man who clearly wasn't intimidated by my success and who I thought was the ONE for me. However, two months into our electric connection, when he too dumped me, I was at rock bottom. I had the instinct to become a man-hater, skeptical and cynical about love and give up on it altogether but THANK GOD I knew better. I remember waking up the next morning after my heartbreak and going - ‘Sami, you´re a good student. Let's figure out what's going on here, instead of giving up. Let's take responsibility for your part in the equation because you are the common denominator in all your experiences.’ Well, figure it out I did and 11 years later… I am a happily married, adored wife of over 10 years, a mother to two beautiful boys and a love coach to other ambitious, intelligent women like myself. And here's the best part. Being a happy wife myself is not what makes me an expert. I created a unique 6-step process called the Love Success Framework and this has helped 900+ of my clients attract healthy, committed men and partnerships, results that are unheard of in the love coaching industry. So we know the process is working and we are onto something big here. We don't only help single women though. My team and I have also helped heal and restore hundreds of marriages and relationships.
What motivated this transition, and how did you discover your passion for helping ambitious women in their love lives?
I have come to believe that what felt like a personal experience to me in dating is actually the ‘universal experience’ for many strong, ambitious women. This gave me the strength to come out in public and share my lessons and messages. When I was having a hard time with dating, back in 2010, I truly thought I was alone in my struggles. I thought something must be wrong with me and that love never worked out for me. This brought up a sense of shame within. I felt inspired to break through this shame not just for my own sake but for the sake of millions of women who also felt like me.
When I started studying what makes romantic relationships successful for ambitious women who don't want to dumb down or play small just to ‘get a man’, I was amazed at what I learned. The knowledge and lessons I gained during this time, helped me attract my husband in record time and completely changed my life, forever…But I still found myself surrounded by my peers and girlfriends who were struggling. So when I saw an advertisement on Facebook about training as a coach and sharing my story and personal message with the world, I knew it was a sign from the Universe and I went for it. I haven´t looked back ever since. We´re a multi-7 figure per year company today, helping change women´s love lives in a tangible, results-based way. Today, I am also a CPD-certified ‘Expert Coach’ with hundreds and hundreds of verified testimonials, success stories, and case studies emerging from my work. I know I am living my life´s purpose and nothing feels more satisfying than this.
You've successfully built a 7-figure business with a global clientele spanning 55 countries. Could you tell us about some of the key strategies or principles that have contributed to your business's growth and success in the field of relationship coaching? For me the answer is simple. Since day 1, my company has been results-focused. We help our clients go from ‘There´s no good man out there who wants to commit’ to - ‘OMG Sami! I am being spoiled and treated so well by men. I have never felt this abundant in dating.” And then go all the way to - “Sami, he proposed. I cannot believe this happened so fast, so smoothly, and without sitting for years on a chair and talking about my attachment styles.” Those are meaningful, life-changing results and if you lead with THAT, you have no competition. The women who get married, get proposed to on Lake Como in Italy, or go on to become mothers and create a beautiful family after working with us, will never ever forget us. Each success story brings another 5 women to the work. So create your process around whatever you help people with and ensure it works. That's the secret to success.
Could you elaborate on the core principles and strategies you use to achieve this transformation in your clients' love lives?
The foundation of my work and process is based on inviting my female clients to embrace the principle of ‘polarity’ in their romantic relationships. Polarity is the presence of polar opposite energies in a relationship and how they attract each other i.e. the ‘masculine’ (giving / action taking/doing/leading/thinking energy) feels attraction towards the ‘feminine’ (the receiving, the emotional feeling energy, the surrendered energy). For polarity to exist in a romantic relationship, we need one partner to predominantly carry the masculine (doing/leading) and one to predominantly carry the feminine (the receiving/feeling). In my work, I invite women to predominantly carry feminine energy in their love lives. When they do this, by the law of polarity, they attract predominantly ‘masculine energy’ embodied men.
This ensures that they have men in their lives who are attuned to be in their masculine energy i.e. provide, commit, lead, plan magical dates, bring flowers to please her, and offer her a life-long commitment…. All things that most strong, successful women would like to receive but don't know how to inspire in men. The truth is that if you find that you keep attracting lazy men who are not willing to make a move, call you, text you, or plan nice dates with you, then the likelihood is HIGH that you are attracting more ‘feminine embodied’ men because you are showing up in your masculine (doing energy) in dating yourself.
To switch around this dynamic, just start showing up more in your feminine energy i.e. lean back, and let him make the effort to pursue and court you. I still remember what a huge lightbulb went off in my head when I understood that nothing was wrong with me or my worth when I was constantly attracting lazy men. I was just too much in my masculine during my single days and so based on polarity, I kept attracting men who were not embodying the doer/giver energy and were unwilling to make an effort or commit. When I embraced leaning back and being in my feminine energy (receiving instead and I stopped doing all the pursuing, calling, and texting), I attracted many empowered masculine men, and one turned up being my husband!
Please Note Two Caveats Though: 1. Feminine and masculine energies are not sexist terms. They denote ‘yin and yang’ energies in many ancient cultures and are possessed by both men and women. 2. Notice that I use the word ‘predominantly’ throughout the conversation when I invite women to embrace their feminine energy. This is to denote that you don´t have to discard or reject the incredible masculine energy that makes you successful at business. Just know how to not bring that energy to your love life, if you´re looking to attract a romantic partner who is capable of investing in you.
You've had the opportunity to work with various high-profile clients, including Hollywood celebrities and CEOs. How do you tailor your coaching and advice to meet the unique needs and challenges of such clients in the realm of dating and relationships? I think it's important to remember that whether it's a Hollywood celebrity, a C-Suite executive, a TV star, or a famous influencer, we´re all human at the end of the day and we struggle with the same emotions - pain/insecurity/self-doubt/fear of rejection and abandonment by somebody we like or love. I work with many you-know-who in the entertainment, music, and TV industry. And if I would name them, it would no doubt catapult my brand to the next level. However, this is not what I am ultimately here for. I am not here for the fame and the money though they're definitely nice to have. What I am here for is to make a lasting, positive impact in the lives of my clients and for them to feel emotionally safe when they enter into a working contract with us. What my celebrity clients love about me is the 100% confidentiality we offer them when they work with us. Being a celebrity is hard enough and then dating or being in a relationship as a celebrity has its own unique challenges. You don't want to be seen on Tinder (god forbid!) and you have to be able to discern fast whether somebody wants to be with you for your money and fame OR because they admire who you are as a person. You also have to ensure that you´re working with somebody who won´t leak your secrets to the press. I would hate being in that position myself, so my team and I go out of our way to ensure that our celebrity clients are never mentioned on our social media and nobody knows they are working with us. When these clients approach me, I jump on a free consultation call with them myself to evaluate if it's a good fit for both sides and if we can help them get the results they´re seeking in their love lives. Having said that, my team and I don't just work with celebrities. We work with several everyday professional women - engineers, surgeons, doctors, teachers, professors, lawyers, attorneys, and even single mums who are ready to attract the love of their lives or elevate their relationships to the next level. If you'd like to book a free consultation with a trained coach from my team to learn how we can support you, you can do so here - www.samiwunder.com/contact If you´re a single, ambitious woman who'd like to feel more empowered in dating, get FREE access to my masterclass - ‘5 Signs He's A Keeper (Never Miss The Red Flags Again & Stop Wasting Time On The Wrong Men) - https://bit.ly/3ogbIM7 Could you share some insights into how your brand collaborations and media appearances have contributed to your brand's visibility and growth, and what advice would you give to aspiring love coaches or relationship experts seeking similar success in their careers? I remember being the ‘best kept secret’ in the love coaching industry till a newspaper journalist found me and said - ‘What? You´ve helped over 95+ women get married and attract their soulmates within 1.5 years. Women need to know about you.’ The next thing I knew I was on the front page of the Daily Mail and my life changed completely after that. So many invites from global podcasts / the BBC / Forbes magazine and more. Media appearances are a game changer. Today we´re at 900+ success stories and I am excited to see what´s going to come next.
Thank you, Sami!
If you´re looking to speed up the results in your love life, you can book a consultation with a trained coach from Sami´s team over here www.samiwunder.com/contact. All details are on the website: www.samiwunder.com. You can also follow Sami Wunder on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube!
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