Written by: Miriam Petra, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A billionaire's perspective who has lost it all - multiple times
After I had gone through my company's bankruptcy and was trying to make sense of it all during an intense journey of research and healing, is when I learnt one of the most important lessons of life from a billionaire.
Still today I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to work with this man, whom one of my good friends and renowned business lawyers pointed me out to.
This man has built 7 businesses and gone through 3 bankruptcies.
He even lost one of his businesses to a long-term business partner who turned his back on him and managed to kick him out of his very own company.
He had lost it all, multiple times. Not only the businesses, but stripping all of his private savings too.
He was socially discredited, professionally shamed and humiliated.
When I spoke to him, he was sitting on his yacht in the Mediterranean, living the dream life so many are striving for.
People are now willing to pay a lot of money for just 10 minutes of his time.
Failure on the Road to Success?
When you read biographies, scroll through social media, listen to speakers on stage - doesn't it seem like if we look at those most successful people in life - they've all at one point or another failed by society's standards?
I was seeking to understand what it is that these people do differently?
Why is it that some get past failure, move through it, overcome it, learn from it and thrive; and why do some loose hope, put themselves down, turn to severe depression and give up on life or certain goals and believe they're not meant to be in a long-term relationship, deserve the health & body they want, have the professional or business success they desire, and so on...
Why do some start to judge their future by that one missed attempt?
His answer was out of the ordinary.
"You see, we're on this beautiful yacht, I'm spending time with my family and grandchildren. We've got some of the most delicious fresh seafood at our fingertips and one of the best private chefs on board. And all my grandkids wanted for lunch was Mc&Cheese. Now we know that's not the most nourishing food. (laughs) When I was a kid, it used to be a quick and cheap-fix meal when my mother was in a rush and didn't have time to cook a fresh meal. She knew it wasn't the best option, but amidst work, chores, and raising 4 kids, at least we had a warm meal. Yet here we are today, my grandchildren are celebrating their $3 Mc&Cheese, which in this case was quite an effort to serve off the coast of Santorini."
What I learnt from our conversation is, it’s not about the Mc&Cheese, it’s about the meaning you attach to it.
"Nothing has any meaning but the meaning you give it."
In terms of failure - the truth is, failure does not exist.
Failure is something we make up in our mind - It's our personal interpretation of an event.
So when events show up in our life, something happens that we perceive and interpret as something very negative, we label that event a failure.
Chances are, we had an expectation and we did not meet that expectation.
Chances are also, we didn't even set that expectation for ourselves, but our belief system, our upbringing and society have led us to believe that's the normal expectation.
,What's the common denominator? It's simply an interpretation of an unmet expectation.
When we set that goal or that expectation we were naive to the process - never been through that and most likely never experienced it yet, and then life happened in pursuit of the goal we had.
We feel judged, embarassed, shameful, stupid, humiliated, dissappointed, frustrated... which is often reflected back to us by the people around us - professionally and personally.
You Are Not Your Failure
So often, when some sort of massive failure, by our definition, is experienced, we take the outcome event and use it to label ourselves.
"I failed. Something's wrong with me."
So what most people do is that they create a meaning, a story of that event that they failed.
It's not the fear or pain of the negative event itself that's so devastating but rather what we think failure means about us.
You're scared of what you think failure means about you.
How will my parents see me? My family? My mother-in-law? My neighbor? My colleagues?
What will they think about me? What will they say about me? What will my spouse say if I fail?
It's not about the failure itself, but how we make it define us. We perceive it's a label we're stuck with, like...
something is wrong with me, I didn't do enough, I don't know enough, I'm no good, I'm not skilled enough, I'm not made for this, I wasted time...
Whatever you are thinking right now, I can tell you this for sure.
You are making it mean that you're a failure and that you are not good enough.
Love Your Inner Child
Most of us have had these feelings triggered when we were young and these have caused a trauma experience to manifest in our subconscious operating system.
This is a normal process of the brain, as its job is to keep us safe & alive so it is constantly moving us away from pain. We don't want to relive and re-experience the traumas we faced in our childhood.
“I chose to not make anything around me mean anything about me”, the billionaire on the other end of the line said, in such a calm and grounded, yet lighthearted way.
The Lesson Learned
Nothing in life has any meaning but the meaning you give it. Everything is neutral.
If you are willing to reframe the meaning of any situation, tell a new story for yourself, and intentionally disengage your focus from any unpleasant out-picturing, you take on the responsibility as the author of your life.
Mastering your focus and deliberately choosing your (deliberate and empowering) meaning from a neutral perspective is how to truly leverage the present moment to create anything you desire.
This is why, as an entrepreneur therapist, I created a simple step-by-step blueprint, drilled down to the very essence of what it takes to FOCUS.
It is a combination of neuroscience, Universal Law, and transformational psychology.
Learn the 3 Step Process to Overcome Major Failure & amp; Reclaim Your Power
Miriam Petra, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Miriam Petra is your facilitator for deep and profound transformation. She is a trained therapist and serial entrepreneur, mentoring thought leaders to step into their full potential to create their dream lifestyle of vitality, impact, income, and freedom they desire.
By aligning the subconscious mind and eliminating root causes for any issue, fast and lasting transformation is achieved for any area of their life, without the hustle, overwhelm, and trade-offs between personal and professional life, yet with joy, ease, and abundance.
Miriam believes high-performing, successful and aligned leaders, entrepreneurs, and executives are changing the course of history. Healthy & ethically led businesses are the primary sources of innovation, bringing great solutions for more sustainable living on this planet for us and all future generations to come.
Going through the highs and lows of being a multiple business owner, having overcome major bankruptcy and severe financial loss, as well as healing from chronic illness, depression and family division, she has become an expert in overcoming failure through her signature Bx3 method and subconscious therapy.
Through powerful subconscious transformation on deep levels, she helps high achievers from around the world align to thrive and transform their lives from the inside out. She teaches you the research-backed tools to harness the power of your mind, body, and spirit to live your best life & be the best version of yourself for yourself, your life, your loved ones.
In the past 12 years of building businesses, spending $600k+ on her education & training, working with the best coaches, international consultants, and hypnotherapists, it wasn’t until she started working with the subconscious mind and spiritual principle that her life & business truly shifted.
"Your wellbeing & subconscious identity are directly connected to your level of performance & lasting success."
