Written by Mark W. Guay, Men's Coach
Mark Guay is an Integral Certified Coach and IFS practitioner. He is the founder of Fathers Without Compromise, a group coaching program and community for business-owning dads to be great fathers and build a great business without compromising one or the other.
Bryce was a man who built things. He had four kids and a chain of healthy restaurants that kept him busy and proud. The restaurants were good, and people liked them. But despite all his success, there was something Bryce couldn’t shake anxiety. It gnawed at him day and night. When the war in Ukraine began, it got worse.
The news hit Bryce hard. His family was still in Ukraine, caught in the fighting, and every headline brought more bad news. The anxiety took hold of him like a sickness. It settled in his chest, clouded his thoughts, and disrupted his sleep. Running the restaurants became harder, being present with his kids felt impossible, and just getting through the day was a struggle.
Bryce’s anxiety wasn’t just a passing feeling. It was threatening to take over his life. He was losing control of everything: his business, his family, and most of all, himself. The fear of failing his family and losing the life he had built loomed large. He knew he needed help but didn’t know where to turn.
That’s when Bryce reached out to me. In our first conversation, he talked about his anxiety as if it were an enemy—a force that had invaded his life and was trying to destroy it. But I offered him a different perspective. “What if,” I asked, “the anxiety isn’t your enemy but a protective mechanism? What if these anxious parts of you are trying, in their own way, to keep you and your family safe?”
This was new to Bryce, but he was willing to explore it. Together, we started working with his anxiety, not to push it away, but to understand it.
We didn’t try to silence the anxiety. Instead, we listened to what it was trying to tell him. Often, it was fear, fear for his family in Ukraine, fear of losing control, fear of not being enough. By acknowledging these fears, Bryce began to see that the anxiety was trying to protect him from pain and uncertainty, even if it wasn’t doing it in the healthiest way.
With this understanding, we developed a plan to help Bryce calm these anxious parts. He began practicing daily exercises to create a sense of safety and calm inside. Simple breathing techniques helped him reconnect with his body, grounding him in the present moment instead of spiraling into worst-case scenarios. Over time, these exercises became a daily ritual, a way for Bryce to start his day with intention and clarity.
I challenged Bryce to commit to these practices, to show up every day, and to do the work necessary to regain control of his life. He accepted the challenge, understanding that his future and his family depended on it.
As Bryce became more in tune with his anxiety, something remarkable happened. The storm inside began to quiet. Bryce wasn’t fighting against his anxiety anymore; he was working with it, creating an inner dialogue that allowed him to regain control over his life.
This shift was profound in the workplace. Bryce’s new approach to his anxiety translated into what many call “executive presence.” He walked into meetings with a calm, steady demeanor that commanded respect. His team noticed the change: Bryce was more focused, more deliberate in his decisions, and less reactive. The business, which had been faltering under his anxiety, began to thrive again.
At home, the transformation was even more significant. Bryce’s interactions with his kids shifted as he learned to manage his anxious parts. He was no longer quick to anger or overwhelmed by stress. Instead, he was more present and more patient. He listened to his children with an open heart, something that had been hard to do when anxiety was in control. His oldest son, who had pulled away, started to see the change in his father. Slowly, they began to rebuild their relationship, one conversation at a time.
Bryce’s journey wasn’t about eliminating anxiety, it was about understanding it and learning how to coexist with it more healthily. By working with his anxious parts instead of against them, Bryce found a way to create calm and control in his life. This inner transformation allowed him to show up fully for his business and family, leading with the strength and presence he always wanted.
Step 1: Reframe anxiety as a protective mechanism
What Bryce did: In our first conversation, I helped Bryce see his anxiety not as an enemy, but as a protective mechanism. His anxiety was trying, albeit in a misguided way, to keep him and his family safe from harm.
Why it matters: Reframing anxiety helps you stop fighting against it and start understanding it. When you see anxiety as something that’s trying to protect you, you can work with it rather than against it.
How you can apply it: Next time you feel anxious, take a moment to acknowledge the feeling and consider what it might be trying to protect you from. This shift in perspective can reduce the intensity of the anxiety and make it more manageable.
Step 2: Practice daily grounding exercises
What Bryce did: Bryce began practicing daily breathing exercises to ground himself in the present moment. This simple routine helped him reconnect with his body and quiet his racing thoughts.
Why it matters: Grounding exercises create a sense of calm and stability. They help you stay centered, especially during times of stress or when anxiety threatens to take over.
How you can apply it: Start each day with a few minutes of deep breathing. Focus on the rhythm of your breath, letting go of any thoughts or worries. This practice can help you begin your day with clarity and calm.
Step 3: Develop a mindful morning ritual
What Bryce did: Bryce committed to a mindful morning ritual that set the tone for his entire day. This included not just grounding exercises, but also a moment of reflection and intention-setting.
Why it matters: A morning ritual creates a structured start to your day, allowing you to approach challenges with a clear mind. It’s a way to establish control over your day before external pressures arise.
How you can apply it: Design a morning routine that works for you. It might include a short meditation, writing down your goals for the day, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with your coffee. The key is consistency.
Step 4: Build emotional awareness
What Bryce did: Bryce learned to listen to his anxious parts, understanding that they often signaled deeper fears—such as concerns for his family or his fear of losing control.
Why it matters: Emotional awareness allows you to address the root causes of your anxiety rather than just its symptoms. By understanding the emotions driving your anxiety, you can respond more effectively.
How you can apply it: When you feel anxious, ask yourself what emotion is beneath that anxiety. Is it fear, sadness, frustration? Acknowledge that emotion and consider what it’s telling you about your current situation.
Step 5: Apply mindfulness in leadership
What Bryce did: As Bryce became more in tune with his emotions and anxiety, he applied these lessons to his leadership style. This shift helped him show up with a calm, steady presence in his business and at home.
Why it matters: Mindful leadership is powerful because it allows you to make decisions from a place of clarity rather than reactivity. It also fosters trust and respect among your team and family members.
How you can apply it: Bring mindfulness into your leadership by practicing active listening, staying present in meetings, and taking a moment to breathe before making decisions. This approach can transform your leadership style and enhance your authority.
Ultimately, Bryce didn’t just survive his challenges, he grew through them. He became the father and leader he knew he could be, not by pushing away his anxiety but by embracing it, understanding it, and transforming it into a source of strength. This is the power of doing the inner work, facing your fears, and coming out stronger on the other side. Bryce did the work, and now he’s living the life he always wanted, with the peace and confidence to face whatever comes next.
Bryce’s story is a powerful example of what can happen when you take control of your inner world. By shifting his perspective on anxiety and committing to daily practices, Bryce transformed not only his life but also the lives of those around him. This is the path to true Authority in leadership and the legacy he is now building for his family.
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Read more from Mark W. Guay
Mark W. Guay, Men's Coach
Mark Guay is an Integral Certified Coach and IFS practitioner. He is the founder of Fathers Without Compromise, a group coaching program and community for business-owning dads to be great fathers and build a great business without compromising one or the other. As an adoptee and survivor of childhood domestic violence, he leads with this approach: To really change our lives, we must heal the past and embrace the unknown. To do this, we need self-accountability, the courage to take decisive action, a community of support, and trust that doors will appear, leading us on our path.
