Written by: Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you often wondered, “What makes someone want to swipe left or right on a dating app?” In a world with so many different people with so many different opinions, it may seem almost overwhelming to figure out what to put and what not to put on your dating profile. As someone who has been on multiple dating apps and seen a lot, there were definitely profiles that would grab my attention more than others. All the profiles that piqued my interest had something in common. What was it you must be wondering?
The type of profiles I was drawn to were those that looked well composed and looked like some effort had been put into it so that there was enough information for me to assess possible compatibility. These profiles spoke to me in the sense that I could tell that the people who created it were definitely making their search a priority in their life. And if what was being communicated to me resonated, I swiped right. This brings me to my first point.
Do you remember the energy and effort you put into your resume when applying for that dream job? Or the effort you make to ensure you don’t miss an interview and show up on time? Why did you do it? Most likely because being hired for that job or position was very important to you. When you create your dating profile, think of it as a resume for attracting your dream partner. Before someone even meets you, the very first impression they are going to get of you (assuming they are finding you through a dating app) is your dating profile. So, when you go about creating one, make sure you put in some time and consideration into what you would like to communicate about yourself. If finding a partner is not your priority right now, and you are not looking for anything serious, that’s fine. But just make sure you state that in your profile so that others on that same wavelength as you will connect. If, however, your priority of finding the one is strong right now, it is important to be intentional and show up as your unique self in your profile so that the person who comes across your page will get some sense of who you are, and feel like swiping right if they resonate with you.
So, what are some tips we can use to strengthen our dating profile?
1. As mentioned above, first put a little thought and intention into what you would like to share about yourself. Ask yourself why you are creating a profile in the first place? Are you looking for a long-term relationship that could lead to marriage? Are you in that space in your life right now that if the right person came along, you would be ready to settle down? When you become clear on what it is you truly want, include that in your profile so that someone on the same page as you will feel more compatible. Any profile that appears vague or wishy-washy may cause a potential match to swipe left instead of reaching out and getting to know you more.
2. Select a few pictures of yourself that accurately depict you.
Here are some of the biggest mistakes I see people make on dating profiles with regards to photos:
a. they won’t share any photos of themselves
b. they post pictures of themselves that aren’t clear
c. they post pictures of objects or animals as opposed to themselves
d. they only include group pictures where it’s hard to discern which one is actually the person of interest
e. they were shades that cover their eyes in all pictures or wind up obscuring a clear image of themselves by any other means such as wearing a large hat.
f. they post pictures that are not recent
Generally speaking, for people to connect with you and feel some kind of trust, words on paper will not be enough. They will want to see clear and recent pictures of you. I remember all sorts of questions used to come into my mind when I didn’t see any picture on a profile such as, “Why is this person hiding and what are they hiding from?” Similarly, others may feel if the person really wanted to connect, they would be more upfront and post some pictures, and hence, your profile can also lose its credibility. Remember sometimes images speak louder than words, and before a prospect even gets to your “about me” section, you don’t want them swiping left.
So, what should you do when posting pictures? Make sure when you do post pictures of yourself, there are a few of them and not just one. Some close-ups, some full-body, and some different angles as well. Smile in your pictures. Its shows warmth. If you post some images of when you are dressed up for an important event, then also consider posting some to show what you usually dress like every day to represent yourself more accurately and authentically. If you want to show yourself doing one of your favorite activities, that’s cool too because it tells a story about you and shows your interests as well. For example, a clear picture of you playing tennis shows someone that you enjoy tennis, and that it could be a particular passion of yours.
3. Write a few sentences (maybe a paragraph or two) about yourself and what you are looking for that represents you authentically. Here we come back to being more intentional and authentic with who you are. And by authentic, I mean staying true to you. You’re not on there to write what you think other people will want to hear in order to “get” more people to like you. You may then only attract those that are not compatible. Write something about you that reflects you, your values, and your interests, and you will attract your tribe. Remember, you’re not trying to draw in the masses. You just need a few good prospects, one of which can wind up being the one.
Avoid writing nothing or only one line which may come across as you couldn’t be bothered, are not really invested in finding someone, or may even lead others to believe you are uninteresting. And on the flip side, stay away from writing long essays about yourself because people may not be interested in reading novels as they browse through profiles. Leave a little bit of mystery so there’s more to talk about and uncover when you meet in person. Be unique and original and include some fun and intriguing facts that can serve as icebreakers. Avoid overused statements like “I work hard and play hard” which can be found in every other profile.
And finally, when you write about what you are looking for, don’t hesitate to mention what truly matters to you in a partner. For example, if you are looking for someone with certain core values and qualities that are important to you, include that in there. So the more your profile reflects the true, unique you, the better your chances of attracting a compatible prospect that vibes with you. 4. If you are the first one to express interest in someone and they accepted, take the lead and initiate the conversation. Why? It shows confidence. This may sound pretty straightforward, but the reason I mention this is because I’m sure some of you may have witnessed a situation where you get matched with someone, and then no one initiates the conversation. And then it pretty much remains a stalemate. So think of it this way. If you were at an event and you spotted someone that appealed to your eye, made some eye contact, and then decided to walk over to them, would you just stand there and stare at them while you wait for them to figure out why you approached them? Or would you introduce yourself to the other person and initiate a conversation? I’m pretty sure you would agree you would do the latter because the former situation would be awkward if anything.
Similarly, if you expressed interest online and they accepted, take the lead. It shows you are sure of yourself and you know how to engage. And as you begin to chat, remember to ask open-ended questions because they allow people to think and expand in their answers. For example, if you see a great picture of a prospect during their travels, asking an open-ended question like “What inspired you to take that trip?”, will allow the person to elaborate and have something to talk about. Closed-ended questions like “How are you?” can abruptly end with “I’m fine.” And the conversation may then die off. Therefore, open-ended questions will allow more depth to the conversation.
Final Words
It is often said that healthy and clear communication is one of the best ways to connect and understand one another. Think of your dating profile not just as the first impression of you, but also as your initial point of communication with your potential prospect. What is it that you would like to communicate through your profile to others? From your pictures to whatever your write in your profile: all are a medium of communication. By taking a little time to put some conscious effort into creating your profile, you will be increasing the chances that the person you attract to your page will be more in tune with you.
If you have been single for some time and desire to be in a relationship or feel like you are in an endless dating cycle and are ready to dive deeper into this matter, I am offering a 1:1, one-hour complimentary discovery session. I help single professionals and entrepreneurs that feel like they are in a rut overcome their hidden inner resistance to finding love and empower them to bring out their best self and create the love life they desire. Click here to book a call and embark on a journey to make a change once and for all.
Want to learn more from Preeti? Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Linkedin or visit her website.
Preeti Mistry, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Preeti Mistry is a Jay Shetty Certified Coach who focuses on single, young professionals and entrepreneurs who want to be in a healthy, meaningful, and lasting relationship. Through her 1:1 coaching service, she helps them uncover and overcome their hidden inner resistance to finding love so that they feel empowered to put their best self forward and can dare to create the love life they desire.
Her chosen niche as a relationship mindset transformation coach was inspired by her own struggles in this area and by noticing that this was a common problem that plagued many she knew as well. After her own transformational journey of overcoming limiting beliefs and aligning better with her true authentic self, Preeti is on a mission to help and empower those that truly want to be in a relationship break out of a rut, and unleash their best self in love.
Preeti has had the opportunity and privilege of participating on a panel hosted by the American India Foundation SF as a relationship mindset transformation coach with the crew of the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. She has also appeared as a guest on various podcasts talking about topics related to mindset, dating, relationships, spirituality and manifestation. In addition, she is the founder of the Relationship Mindset club on Clubhouse which offers tremendous value and is continuing to grow. Preeti is also a general dentist, and loves to paint, travel, dance, and spend time in nature.
Preeti’s purpose and vision is to help create a world where we focus more on our possibilities instead of our impossibilities so that we are more in tune with creating a life that is aligned with our deepest desires and can experience the joy and fulfillment we are meant to in this life.
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