Written by: Vicki Renz, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Surviving the festive season with fertility struggles. Facing going out but really not feeling the part on the inside? I mean, what’s there to feel joyful about when all you really want for Christmas is for your womb to be healthy so that you can be your most fertile self?
No amount of make-up or new outfits can cover up how you feel deep within yourself. I see you; going out and comparing yourself to others, the voice inside of your head asking how that other woman has got all the luck and why you have to struggle.
Going out and being around others can feel like torture. Anxiety builds up at just the thought of certain conversations where you have to pretend to be happy for others. Biting back your tears, fighting the urge to run home and bury your head under your pillow.
If you make excuses about not being able to go out you’ll face questions and disappointment. Others are expecting you to show up. So what now?
1. Start with yourself
Spending time on yourself is vital. You come first. Prioritise and schedule in “me-time” every single day. This time of year is busy yet you can always create time for yourself first. Otherwise, your time will be continuously given away to other activities: work, family and friends.
Make a daily appointment with yourself, block it in your diary and set a reminder in your calendar so that you can stick to it. You may need to be quite strict with yourself to keep this up. Perhaps other activities will encroach on your time. Set your boundaries – this is your time.
2. Get to know your nervous system
Learning effective techniques to connect with and calm your nervous system will transform how you feel on the inside and give you the boost you need when facing situations that could trigger you.
Did you know that how you breath is directly linked to reactions in your nervous system? When you breathe in, your heart rate increases, when you breathe out, your heart rate slows down. Learning a breathwork technique to slow down your out breath will, with regular practice, support you to feel calmer, lower stress and your pulse when you are faced with triggers.
Practice slowing down your outbreaths so that they are longer than your inbreaths. Add this to your daily “me-time”. You can use this technique without anyone noticing. Try it out and feel the immediate effects.
3. Start your day as you mean to go on
The first minutes when you awake are crucial in shaping your day ahead. How you think and feel during the initial moments when you start to stir in your bed create an energetic vibration that flows out into your day.
Imagine you are writing a script for a computer program and hitting the “run” button every single morning. That’s how the vibration of our energy field works. Think about how you felt when you woke up this morning. What were your thoughts? Did they affect how your day continued?
Ask yourself how you ideally would like to experience each and every day. How would you be feeling? What would you be thinking? Write your daily script for yourself.
Upon waking in the morning, practice visualising your script unfolding for your day ahead. The key here is to feel it in your heart and then visualise with all five senses. See how your day unfolds starting from a place of focussed energy.
4. Feel clear with your boundaries
Triggering questions are certain to be asked so equipping yourself with direct answers to kindly close any further question will clearly state your boundaries. Keep that ace up your sleeve so that you are prepared!
Here are three suggestions:
“I don’t know. That’s a great outfit by the way, love the colours, where did you get it from?”
“That’s a rather personal question, let’s get back to the party”
“I’m happy with my dog, how about you, do you have animals?”
You can make it through
Remember you are not alone and it helps to surround yourself with others who understand how you feel. Follow here for further support with coping with fertility stress.
Vicki Renz, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Oh My Mama Body supports women to understand their body through fertility and beyond. Over the past 20 years, Vicki has developed her energy healing techniques, shaping them specifically into supporting women to reconnect with their womb, to rediscover their incredible inner feminine creativity and to reclaim their most fertile, flowing and confident self.
Vicki Renz is a shamanic womb healer, channeller and popular YouTuber. She channels powerful healings and guides women to deeply connect with their womb to release the energetic root cause behind their fertility blockages, awakening them to their natural flow and creative core.
Struggling with recurrent miscarriage and unexplained fertility in her 30's, she used her own healing techniques to heal and become a mother of two.
Vicki felt an urgent calling to awaken others to the energies within their womb and assist them with unlocking and rediscovering their feminine intuition and guidance so that they can abundantly flow.
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