Written by: Kathryn Sauser, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you considering a journey to sobriety but feeling hesitant due to fear? You're not alone. Many people struggle with the same worries when considering sober curiosity. Kathryn Sauser, a sober curious fitness coach, founder of the Sober Curious Fitness Method understands these fears personally and has identified people's four biggest concerns when they become sober curious. These include: Will my friends stop talking to me and not invite me out? Will I ever enjoy my life again? Will I ever be able to be around booze, and will I ever be able to date again without drinking?
1. Will my friends stop talking to me and never invite me out?
It's natural to worry that your social life will suffer if you become sober curious. After all, the majority of social activities involve alcohol. But it doesn't have to be this way. The truth is, many of your friends may be feeling the same way as you are. They just haven't voiced it yet. By being brave enough to bring up the subject, you might find that you're opening up a healthy dialogue about sober activities and alternative forms of having fun!
If you find yourself without social invitations, try to find activities that don't center around alcohol that you personally enjoy. Sobriety is a journey of self-exploration. Have fun with it! Use this time to get to know yourself, without booze! There are plenty of fun and exciting events that don't involve drinking.
It's also important to be open with your friends. Let them know that while you are still interested in participating in activities with them, you'd prefer to do something different than bar hopping or happy hour drinks. Also, taking the initiative to create the event and invite them, you may be surprised! You might find that they'll be open to trying something new with you or understand and respect your decision to go a different route.
Being sober curious does not mean your social life has to suffer. It just means you'll have to get creative in spending time with friends and family. With some patience and openness, you can still make great memories without alcohol. Personally, after almost 3 years of sobriety, my favorite memories with friends and family have now been booze free!
2. "Will I ever enjoy my life again" can be a scary thought.
I often associated my social life and good times with drinking, but the funny thing is, alcohol always made my life worse! It was all an illusion! The truth is, becoming sober curious does not mean you will not enjoy your life. Far from it! In fact, if done with an open mind, sober curiosity can open up a new realm of experiences you may have missed out on due to your drinking habits. For example, a new business venture, a fun sport you have always wanted to try and a new friend! The opportunities are endless! Remember, the party will always be there.
When you become sober curious, you allow yourself to explore different activities that do not involve drinking. From going to the gym and trying out a new workout class to learning a new skill or language, many options do not include alcohol. So, if you are worried about not enjoying your life as much, don't be. There is an entire world of possibilities waiting for you. Keep in mind that being sober and curious will increase your productivity in other areas of your life. You will no longer be dealing with hangovers or feeling sluggish all day, meaning you can dedicate more time to your hobbies and passions. Trying new activities can be daunting at first, but remember that it doesn't have to mean the end of your social life or fun activities. Instead, it can open up an entirely new world of possibilities – allowing you to enjoy your life in ways you may have never thought possible.
3. Will I ever be able to be around booze?
Many people worry about whether they will ever be able to be around booze when they become sober curious. The truth is that while it may be more challenging to be in a situation where alcohol is present, it is not impossible. This takes time, just like anything else!
The first step in being around booze is to ensure you are mentally and emotionally prepared to handle the situation. This includes understanding why you have become sober curious, remembering why you started, and ensuring you have the tools to stay strong in the face of temptation. It also includes surrounding yourself with support, such as close friends and family, who can help you stay strong if you are in a difficult situation.
When it comes to being around booze, some practical tips can help. First, having a plan ahead of time can help. This could include having a non-alcoholic drink or alternative beverage on hand or deciding ahead that you will leave the situation if it becomes too much for you. Second, it can help to have an exit strategy. If the social situation does become overwhelming, having an escape plan can help keep you from succumbing to temptation.
Being around booze does not have to be a source of fear or anxiety. With the proper preparation and support, it can be possible to navigate situations with alcohol without compromising your sobriety. By being honest with yourself about why you are becoming sober curious and by having the right resources and support in place, it is possible to be around booze without breaking your sobriety. Remember, if you feel triggered, you always have the choice to leave.
4. I'll never be able to date sober!
Dating while sober can be intimidating, especially if you're used to socializing with alcohol. After all, many of our ideas of romance are connected to the classic "wine and dine" date.
Fortunately, sober dating can be just as fun and fulfilling. It may feel daunting at first, but you don't have to worry about feeling awkward or out of place when meeting someone new. Here are a few tips to help make sober dating a positive and enjoyable experience:
1. Talk Openly About Sobriety: Sobriety is a personal journey, so don't be afraid to talk about your experience with someone you're interested in. Being open and honest about your sobriety from the start will help set the tone for a healthy relationship built on trust and respect. This doesn’t mean spill all the beans. You can simply say, “Right now, I am choosing not to drink.” From my experience, if someone doesn’t like that response, it is a great tool to help filter out prospects who are simply not a great “fit” for my lifestyle.
2. Find Creative Date Ideas: Instead of relying on traditional date spots like bars or clubs, why not try something new? Think outside the box for creative date ideas that don't involve alcohol. Museums, outdoor activities, workout class, coffee, going for a walk, and game nights are all great options.
3. Get Comfortable with Saying "No": No matter how tempting it may be, don't let your date pressure you into drinking. Be comfortable saying "no" and stand your ground if they insist. They're not worth your time if they can't respect your boundaries. Drinking on a first date, never turned out well for me.
4. Embrace Your Sobriety: Don't forget that sobriety is a source of strength, not a weakness. Own your sobriety with pride, and don't be afraid to show it off on your date. You'll attract people who appreciate your commitment to a healthier lifestyle.
Dating without alcohol can be intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. With some preparation and creativity, you can still have meaningful connections with others without relying on alcohol as a crutch. So don't let your sobriety stop you from living life to the fullest—embrace it and use it to find meaningful connections.
Ready to take the leap of sober curiosity? Don’t know where to start? Join my Sober Curious Fitness Community here.
Kathryn Sauser, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kathryn Sauser Sober Curious Lifestyle Coach. Certified NLP, Fitness & Nutritionist. WBFF Pro Athlete. Founder of the Progress over Perfection Guided Journal. Shares Her Powerful Fitness & Sober Conscious Fitness Method guided women on end the guilty cycle of dieting, restricting, and weekend binging with a FUN & Sustainable Lifestyle Routine! Many programs only focus on physical goals without addressing the subconscious thoughts that rule our eating and drinking habits. As someone who started from nothing and has gone on to have massive success and impact thousands, she is obsessed with sharing the powerful tools she used to carry her out of depression and addiction into a life of freedom and joy.
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