Written by Nathan Francis, Youth Self–Sabotage Coach
Nathan Francis is a 30 Year old former school teacher from Australia. Nathan is a podcast host and youth self-sabotage coach/mentor who freely admits that his mission is to lift the self-esteem and health of our youth.
In modern society, we have been programmed through various ways, such as the TV, societal programming, family programming, and, in particular, school programming, to fear failure. Fear of failure is a mental state of being where one avoids or puts off an activity or scenario that has the potential for an unsuccessful outcome. Furthermore, this is riddled throughout our society today; people are afraid to take a risk, take a chance, and be something great or better than where they currently are.
However, due to our school programming, we were taught that mistakes are bad and that we will get in trouble if we mess up. We desperately wanted to be the perfect student in order to gain approval and appraisal from our teachers. In a family setting, children want to please their parents and be deemed successful in their eyes. That’s what we crave as children. The prospect of being a failure in our parents' eyes breaks the inner child. This is precisely why those risks and/or chances remain untaken. This, in turn, has created a society full of people playing it safe, not taking risks, chances, and missing golden opportunities due to their fear of failure. How about we flip the script from negative to positive? What if taking that chance or taking that risk works out? What if it doesn’t fail? Ponder that.
The fear of failure was a huge thing for me to overcome; all I wanted to be was a success through my parent's eyes. Flipping the script and coming to the realisation that in order to be a success, I needed to feel worthy of being a success through my own eyes and not anyone else's. It was upon that realisation where things started to change for the better in my life and fearing failure
was a distant memory.
For me, I was on the path to becoming a teacher inside the mainstream school system. I have always had a passion for working with children and the youth, stemming from my experiences inside school. Given my programming, becoming a teacher was what I believed for a long time was how I could make a difference and impact children's lives. My family was proud. I was proud and my life was great. I was going to University, working in schools and building some real connections to potentially slot into a job once my studies were complete. During that time, I noticed how wrong some of the things were, but I never said anything. I just believed that this was the only system, the only way to work with children so I just kept on keeping on until 2020 when the truth slapped me in the face hard. My life was about to change direction. I was awakening to the world's truths and the truths that existed within me. It was during this time when it was blatantly obvious that this mainstream school system was failing children and indoctrinating them to become compliant, obedient order followers. My soul during this time was screaming at me; it was yearning for something more. I was being called to fulfill my higher purpose. I decided to make the decision to completely turn my back on ever becoming a ‘teacher’ inside the school system. I had no clue what was around the corner, but I stuck with the decision.
I walked the path and came into contact with my now mentor Jason Christoff and enrolled in his International Overcoming Self Sabotage and Psychological Reprogramming Institute. I knew what my parents were thinking at the time due to their programming. I could see it, I could feel it. The fear of failure was creeping into my thoughts. But, It was the fear of being a failure in their eyes. However, I knew that this move was going to pay off in the long run. I copped the questions of what if it doesn’t work out? What if you do not want to coach anyone? Those were questions I was receiving, but I was also doubting and questioning myself. I was taking a huge risk, going out on my own and starting my own business from scratch. The little child Nath just wanted to be a success in his parents’ eyes. What I was embarking on was not what my parents at the time deemed successful. I flipped the script, I began asking what if it worked out. What if I change the lives of thousands of people? What if my message spreads? I stuck at it through patience, resilience, and discipline. Those same negative questions came when my first book was written.
What if no one reads it? What if no one buys it? I flipped the script again and said what if it changes just one life? What if it changes many lives? What if I build an audience and a message that sells the book? It was from me pursuing my dreams and my ambitions and letting the negative comments wash over me that I changed my perception and also my parents. This was extremely powerful. Fast forward 2 years, I continue to stick at it, and many opportunities have since come my way. There have been mistakes made but I allowed myself to make them and then see the lesson in it for next time.. Something we are not taught in school. I was flipping my script and changing from the negative to positive but it also flipped my parents' script when they started seeing what I was doing and the impact I was having. They were proud. I was proud. Little Nath was validated, loved, heard, seen, and acknowledged.
You can do this, too; take that chance. Do that thing you have always wanted to do. Do not allow the negativity and the fear of failure to take over. Flip the script and ask yourself, what if it works out? What if it succeeds beyond my wildest dreams? Imagine that feeling, see the moment, and anything is possible.
The beauty of my work is I delve deep into my story and share with you my mistakes to ensure you do not make those mistakes I did. I show you your new path, and I see your potential even when you may not. Together, we will drive you towards the life of your dreams. I look forward to working with you and writing your comeback story!
If you’re ever stuck, struggling, and self-sabotaging. Always reach out; I am here for you.
I have a free 30-minute consultation call and tons of programs and resources to get you started towards your best self. You have the power; remember that.
Thanks for reading wherever in the world you are!
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Read more from Nathan Francis
Nathan Francis, Youth Self–Sabotage Coach
Nathan Francis is a leader in the Youth Coaching space. Drawing from 10+ years experience inside the mainstream system, it became quite evident to him that the system is failing our youth. Nathan has dedicated his life to helping our youth unleash their innate human potential. He is the founder of teenageselfsabotag.com where he offers 1:1 and group coaching programs. Author of Breaking Free: A Teens & Young Adults guide to identifying their addictions and overcoming them. He is also the host of the breaking free podcast.
Resources:
Podcast With Luke Balcke
From Fear To Empowerment Ft Tanner Dagenais
