Written by: Yvette Troyna, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
With such talk of superheroes gracing our screens, it’s clear: greatness is our birthright. But what’s an everyday hero to do when life gets crazy? Let’s be real. Nobody could foresee the global havoc a microscopic virus could wreak. And who could predict the super-bloom of heroes shortly after the world went dark? We are all superheroes. Scientific research proves that our strengths contribute to happiness. Together at Superpower School chapters all over the world, we activate these strengths to love life again. Cape optional.
When life feels like a slobbering, ravenous beast hellbent on having your head for lunch, we don’t often have the luxury of time to pause and really reflect on the best course of action. I, for one, love to analyze pros and cons with a numerical valued list. (Read on for details about this quick exercise to swiftly make excellent choices). It takes time to gel and longer sleep on it because we must verify facts before taking action. Sure, your imagination can blow things out of proportion, and it’s best to discover that what you’re upset about is all in your head. After all, if it is indeed your imagination, you can simply deal with your inner self-talk and be about your business. But what if there is a proverbial tiger on your tail?
Days come around like this — where you wake up to one disaster after another chomping at your heels. Exhausting and confusing. It’s a part of life, yes, and it’s also human nature not to stand idly by when we feel threatened (or even mildly uncomfortable in some cases). Take this year, for example. I relocated after realizing small-minded racist people populated the community I had invested my livelihood and home with.
I spent seven years in a Carpenter Gothic Victorian. High ceilings, lacy cornices, and intricate crown molding. History-stained glass windows overlooked tree-lined Francis creek. A towering Cypress candelabra tree with thirty trunks fixated gawking tourists in their tracks. Imported herbs and flowers from all over the globe populated my French chef garden. I had a cozy apartment for my mother and a lovely townhouse for my daughters. It was a dream come true —on paper.
Until one day, I simply couldn’t avoid, and certainly no longer tolerate, the hatred of another nanosecond. It was spring 2020, during that early shelter in place confusion where we still shared sidewalks and overheard conversations. I heard a story that the only black couple left town. Their children, both sweet, smiley kids, were bullied in class. I had just walked down my old brick driveway, past the pale purple wisteria winding along the porch toward the antique post office. I took my time admiring thoughtful window shop displays, smelling the flower baskets swaying gently in the crisp ocean breeze until I caught up with two rich ranchers chatting as they strolled toward the town tavern. “I heard the Injuns are keeping the casino open.” “Good! I hope they allllll die.”
As a Euro/Scandinavian ancestry woman, I’m fortunate to be on the safe end of this conversation, and it still hit me in the guts like a steel-toed boot. These men seemed so gentle and trusty like they’d help a kitten out of a tree. I was shocked, and then I started to pay closer attention. It turns out, this wasn’t an isolated sentiment. Even some of my friends and local pastors spew this unintelligent hatred. Just last week, I ducked into my FB feed to find a local church marquee proudly blasting the LGBTQ community. Heavy sigh. Where’s the Lysol? Good God, I wanted to shake the isms out of these people, and therein lies the problem. Hatred spreads like noxious wildfire. I had become hateful of their hatred.
I made the right choice pulling up stakes and never looking back. Not gonna lie. I cried, driving over that picturesque bridge for the last time. Twas a mixture of joy, relief, and nostalgia. I miss the sacred old-growth forests most of all. People couldn’t believe I’d up and leave like that. Their racism forever marred any brotherly love between us. See, racism (like so many other isms) oozes up through the rough-hewn floorboards and seeps in through the warped single pane window frames. One’s psyche simply can’t thrive in a hateful community—even if you lock the doors and stay inside. Even racists struggle in their mental filth. See, I believe a part of their noggin is damaged, or else they’d realize how words and actions impact their children and neighbors, and perhaps most of all, their own souls. From a selfish perspective, being racist simply makes no sense. Clearly, there’s a brick missing, screw loose, or thumbtack unaccounted for.
This slobbering beast of a crisis led to a simple decision because one of my strengths (aka superpowers) includes flipping a scenario on its back to examine its underbelly. In this example, the scenario flipped must be spelled out in no uncertain terms because I needed conviction to uproot my entire life. When I uttered this sickening phrase, it was as plain as day: “I live in a racist community.” The truth slapped me in the face like a mackerel.
That’s how I knew it was pivotal. My next step was to verify findings with my neighbors and friends. Some surprised me by sharing such ugly sentiments as if we were discussing sandwich options rather than the value of one life over another. Others said it wasn’t their problem and to mind my own business. Huh. That didn’t feel like home to me. Isn’t how my fellow humans/neighbors are treated my business? Aren’t we all in this together? But we had a phone tree!
Once I exposed my beloved Victorian village’s underbelly, right here in the ‘Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave,’ and identified its most tender and ticklish spots, I took my name and number off that precious phone tree, sold my property and never looked back. How did I do it? Well, I’m glad you asked. Here’s my secret to making any decision the best decision.
How to flip it:
Identify the topic at hand. (I live in a racist town)
Verify the validity of your assumptions. (ask questions, sit and listen, observe my gut reactions)
Get into a meditative state of mind. (try tai chi, cannabis, stroll, grounding, or deep breaths while focusing on the word “ONE.”)
Write down ten possible solutions to the problem at hand. Take note of how easily the first half dozen solutions emerge and how hard it is to get the last few jotted down. This is when it gets fun. Make the last few options the most ridiculous, outlandish, and zany ideas you can conjure. I once wrote down “rob a bank wearing last year’s Halloween costume” when I was particularly impoverished, which made me laugh, which in turn taps creative juices like Maple trees giving luscious amber syrup.
Take massive action--while still emotionally charged. This last step is critical because many of us get all wound up and crusades and then lose steam, forgetting all about our latest holy grail. In my case, I could have ignored my findings and refocused my attention on the beautiful region I lived in, the work I adored, and dug in to build more healthy relationships. If I had taken this approach, I’d have lost the man I love, self-respect, and the amazing adventures we’re now savoring while we figure out how to help folks get happy again.
In the spirit of candor, Flipping It can be a simple exercise used for daily decisions, or it can become a monumentally pivotal moment in your universal life path like this spring has been for me. I am still reeling from experience. Despite the edgy feeling of deliberately pulling my own rug out from beneath my feet, I am deeply thrilled to be settling into Portland, Oregon, a city of inclusion and eagerness to do better. Alive and thriving within this global metropolis of eco-grooviness and humanity. We can do better. We can flip even monstrous challenges on their backs to expose options, alternatives, and better ways to handle the most beastly of hurdles.
Yvette Troyna, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Positive Living Maestro, Yvette Troyna, is a serial entrepreneur who grew up in the Pacific Northwestern United States. No matter how tough life can be, she bounces back with genuine happiness. Who knew that decades later, her unique brand of positive living would translate to heavy-hitting, science-based strengths training in the form of her new B Corp, Superpower School Inc?
When she isn't training new Superpower School chapter owners, you can find Yvette using her Psychology degree to write about positive living, traveling for speaking engagements, celebrating her loved ones' latest wins with ridiculous fanfare, and generally savoring all that the Good Life has to offer. Her brand of positivity is neither religious nor political in nature. Just authentic tips and scientifically proven insights into what it takes to activate your superpowers to love life again. Cape optional. What are her superpowers, you ask? Love, perspective, creativity, humor, gratitude, parallel parking, and fitting 15 pounds into a 10-pound bag.
