Stacie Shifflett is the Founder and CEO of Modern Consciousness and a multiple international bestselling author. She has boldly and successfully reinvented herself many times and now guides others through the art of transformation proving that it's never too late to craft a life you truly love living.
Have you ever felt like you’re constantly juggling life’s demands, only to have it all come crashing down with the slightest disruption?
In our culture, we tend to seek balance. Phrases like “work/life balance” or “work hard/play hard” are deeply rooted in our common consciousness. We are taught that life is all about balance and, with that in mind, we set about striving to achieve it. We juggle all that life has to offer and often, just when we think we’ve found the perfect rhythm to keep everything in motion, life throws another curveball, or we add something to our already busy schedules, and we’re tipped off balance yet again.
The myth of balance
The word “balance” implies an equal distribution of something. It suggests a static state where all aspects are kept in steady equilibrium. Perfect equilibrium is difficult, if not impossible, to sustain. Balance also implies separation; we keep different priorities separate and distinct. For example, when we talk about work/life balance, we tend to view each independently of the other, neglecting how both are interconnected and contribute to the outcomes we desire. In reality, work and life are not separate entities; they support and enhance each other, creating a more fulfilling and integrated experience for you.
Embracing harmony
In contrast, harmony is about integrating various aspects of life in a way that complements and supports the other. It acknowledges that different priorities can coexist without necessarily being in equal measure. Harmony not only allows for but respects flexibility and adaptability, as it recognizes that some priorities will take precedence over others at different times. Harmony recognizes that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Think of it this way. If we listened to just one voice in a choir, we would miss the beauty of the melody that is created by the harmonious union of all the voices together. We need to perceive all areas of our lives as the various “voices” that combine and contribute to the art of living.
The benefits of harmony
By striving for harmony rather than balance, you can create a life where your various responsibilities and passions enhance each other. Harmony helps reduce stress by allowing us to be flexible and shift our focus to where it’s needed most. This adaptability enhances our overall well-being, as all parts of our lives are interconnected. For example, consider someone who is so focused on meeting a work deadline that they dismiss and miss other important life events and opportunities. This singular focus can lead to stress and regret, neither of which supports our highest and best outcomes. However, by integrating work and personal life harmoniously, one can achieve professional goals while still being present for significant personal moments. Harmony recognizes that life is dynamic, and striving for harmony versus balance allows me to approach life in a way that better supports me holistically.
Five ways to maintain harmony in your life
Now that we've explored the myth of balance and the concept of harmony and its benefits, let’ me share with you five strategies that I use to maintain harmony in my life.
1. Define what harmony means to you
To create harmony in your life, you must understand what harmony means to you. It’s not something we often stop to think about. What you do notice, however, is how you feel—stress and frustration, for example, may be signs of disharmony. And although you do enjoy moments of contentment and flow, those harmonious moments are often fleeting. Why? Because you haven’t consciously defined what harmony means to you.
Harmony is unique to each individual. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. Rather, it’s a reflection of how you wish to integrate and prioritize various aspects of your life. It’s what you value most and need at any given point in time. It’s deeply personal, so it’s essential to understand what creates harmony in your life if you wish to achieve it.
Creating harmony involves integrating and prioritizing tasks and responsibilities in a way that supports your overall well-being and desires. One effective approach is to shift your focus from tasks to outcomes.
Consider this: You often enroll your kids in extracurricular activities like sports or dance and end up stressed, running around like crazy to keep up with everyone’s schedules. In the midst of this chaos, you lose sight of the very reasons you enrolled them in these activities in the first place. While you may wish for them to become a professional athlete or dancer and get that full-paid scholarship, you more likely enrolled them initially so they could develop skills, engage in an activity they enjoyed, learn the value of commitment and teamwork, and so on. Engaging in these activities with your kids is also an opportunity to foster a deeper relationship with them. But, in the busyness of life, it’s easy to lose sight of that.
Wouldn’t the rides to practice be different if you were truly present with your children as you are taking them to the field or the studio rather than just getting it over with as quickly as possible so you can move on to the next task in your day? Wouldn’t you prefer to actually enjoy that time with them? Wouldn’t you prefer to have conversations with your kids, exploring how their day went, how they are feeling, what they are happy about, and what’s causing them stress while you’re driving rather than spending that time on a business call or complaining about everything else that needs to be done that day? Do you see the difference? One scenario creates harmony. The other does not. It creates stress.
So, to define what harmony means to you, take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your life. Reflect deeply on what truly matters to you and what you want to achieve. Shift your mindset from merely completing tasks to being present and aligned with your core values and desired outcomes as you engage in the activities of your life. Once you have a clear understanding of what creates harmony for you, it becomes easier to manage your responsibilities and passions in a way that feels cohesive and fulfilling.
2. Cultivate self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to tune into your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s about understanding your inner world and recognizing how that affects everything you experience in the outer world. Self-awareness is crucial for personal and spiritual development as it allows us to identify and change patterns that aren’t serving our highest and best. After all, if we are unaware that something is negatively impacting us or those around us, nothing changes! But simply being aware of something isn’t enough. We must put that awareness to work and take action.
A word of caution here. Don’t be fooled into thinking that if nothing changes, everything remains the same. It does not. If nothing changes, situations worsen over time.
Think about a houseplant. You’ve watered it every week and it’s looked fine for months. Then one day, you notice a yellow leaf or two as you’re giving it its weekly watering, yet you choose to ignore it despite noticing something was ‘off’ and continue with your routine. A few weeks later, you notice that the plant is dying. You don’t understand why, as it was fine for months of receiving the care you routinely gave it. This is awareness without action.
Awareness with action might have motivated you to research why leaves turn yellow on that type of plant and in that research, you discovered that the culprit is overwatering. Well, that’s curious as it had been fine for months! So, you decide to take more action and repot the plant which is when you discover that the drain hole at the bottom of the planter had become clogged, so excess water was collecting in the pot. Hence, the plant was not drying out between waterings! See how awareness and action are both needed?
The same concept applies to cultivating a harmonious life. Stay vigilant. Stay aware. Notice what’s happening, explore what’s causing the disharmony, then take action to course-correct!
3. Embrace flexibility
Flexibility is essential for maintaining harmony, especially when unexpected events occur. We all know that life is unpredictable, and sometimes, we need to adjust our priorities to respond to new circumstances. The extent of flexibility required varies depending on the situation. For example, a medical emergency might necessitate a complete shift in focus, pushing everything else to the side to focus solely on health and recovery. Other circumstances might just cause a ‘blip’ or a quick temporary shift to address.
Being flexible means adapting to these changes without self-judgment. It’s important to understand that it’s okay for some priorities to take a backseat when more pressing issues arise. The key is to make these adjustments with compassion for yourself and others involved.
Practicing flexibility also involves being open to altering your plans and routines. This might mean rescheduling tasks, delegating responsibilities, or simply letting go of certain expectations. By remaining adaptable, you can better handle disruptions and maintain a sense of harmony.
The goal is not to be rigidly consistent but to stay true to your core values and desired outcomes. Embrace the ebb and flow of life and allow yourself the grace to adjust as needed. This approach will help you navigate challenges more smoothly and maintain a harmonious life.
4. Practice the pause
When life throws you a curveball, sometimes the most powerful action you can take is to simply pause. This moment of stillness allows you to reset, reflect, and refocus on what truly matters to you.
Consider this scenario: You've just received an email that an urgent business meeting was scheduled at the same time as your child's school play—an event you've been looking forward to for weeks. Your initial reaction might be stress, frustration, anger, or even panic. This is where the power of the pause comes in.
Instead of immediately responding or making a hasty decision, take a deep breath. Step away from your computer or phone for a few minutes. Find a comfortable space, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. This pause creates space between the situation and your reaction, allowing you to approach the problem with a clearer mind.
During this pause, acknowledge your emotions. Recognize that you’re feeling conflicted and stressed. This awareness itself can be calming. Use this time to broaden your perspective of the situation. Remember your larger goals and values. Determine what is truly important to you at this moment in time and in the long run.
Use the pause to consider and reconsider your options. With a calmer mind, you can think more creatively. Can you, perhaps, ask a colleague to cover the meeting for you? Are you sure it cannot be rescheduled to not conflict with your daughter’s play? Can you join the first 15 minutes of the meeting remotely from the car in the parking lot and attend parts of both the meeting and the play? What is truly at stake if you miss one or the other? Explore all your options. Also explore the consequences as what you perceive to be a consequence when immediately faced with this situation—like losing your job if you miss that meeting or harming your daughter for life if you miss the play—may not actually be true! We tend to exaggerate and jump to huge conclusions when we are reacting versus being intentional. There are always options and always more than two!
Pausing provides you with the opportunity to realign with your priorities. Reconnect with what harmony means to you in your life. It may be possible to find a solution that honors both your work commitments and your family values.
By pausing, you give yourself the gift of responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. It allows you to recognize that there are choices and that you can work toward a solution that satisfies your ‘big picture’ needs. Perhaps you can reschedule the meeting or maybe, upon reflection, you realize that the meeting is more important at this moment in time as it provides you with the opportunity to close a large account which creates more abundance and freedom for your family overall. The important thing is to pause and acknowledge that you do have choices and trust that you are able to make the best choice for you in that moment.
Practicing the pause doesn't always resolve conflicts perfectly, but it does provide you with the clarity and calm needed to navigate life's inevitable disruptions more gracefully. It's a powerful tool for maintaining harmony amidst the chaos of daily life.
5. Embody the practice of maintaining harmony
To truly benefit from the principles we've discussed – defining harmony, cultivating self-awareness, embracing flexibility, and practicing the pause - we must incorporate or embody these practices in our daily lives. Embodiment goes beyond mere understanding or occasional application; it means integrating these concepts so deeply that they become a natural part of who you are and how you navigate life.
Embodying the practice of maintaining harmony involves:
Consistent application: Make conscious efforts to apply these principles in various situations, big and small, until they become second nature.
Mindful living: Remain present and aware in your daily activities, continuously aligning your actions with your definition of harmony.
Physical integration: Recognize that harmony isn't just a mental state – it affects and is affected by your physical well-being. Pay attention to how your body feels when you're in or out of harmony.
Emotional attunement: Develop a keen awareness of your emotional responses and use them as guides to maintain harmony.
Holistic approach: See harmony as an integral part of your entire life, not just something you strive for in certain areas or at certain times.
Patience and self-compassion: Understand that embodying these practices is a journey. Be patient with yourself and approach the process with kindness and understanding.
By truly embodying these practices, you move beyond simply trying to achieve harmony to living in harmony. This embodiment allows you to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and authenticity, creating a more fulfilling and integrated life experience.
Embodying harmony: A personal example
As I sit here writing this article, I find myself in the midst of a perfect storm of competing priorities. It's one of those moments in life where theory meets practice, and I'm actively applying these principles of harmony to navigate my own challenges. I thought you might appreciate seeing how these concepts play out in real life, so let me share my current situation with you.
I'm currently preparing to close my house in Florida for a couple of months, something I do most every year. But this year is different. Why? Because I have a major plumbing issue that needs to be repaired. This necessitates moving furniture that is not typically moved, so my contractor can tear up my floors in multiple rooms, cut through the concrete slab, and dig into the earth under my home to expose and replace an old cast iron pipe that is failing.
On top of that, I learned last week that I have a partial but substantial tear (70%) in a tendon in my rotator cuff. At least I now know why I've been in pain for over a year! (It was misdiagnosed last year if you're wondering.) Not the best timing as I'm packing up to relocate to my second home in Virginia – I kind of need my shoulder to continue supporting me! Also, the medical team that I desire to work with is located where I reside in Florida, not Virginia.
And let's not forget the several large and exciting projects underway for Modern Consciousness®, my company.
I, like you, have a lot going on, including some curveballs as you can see! I was handling all of this with relative ease and grace until my shoulder injury was revealed, which, to be honest, created a bit of stress for me. I have a lot of packing, driving, and unpacking to do to relocate temporarily back to Virginia, and then I need to do it all in reverse in a couple of months when I return to Florida.
As I became aware of the stress mounting within me, I decided to pause (remember point 4?) and really look at the bigger picture of my life. This is where defining what harmony means to me (point 1) and cultivating self-awareness (point 2) came into play. I evaluated my priorities and activities, my health, my desires, my needs, and determined what course of action best supports me holistically now, in this moment, in these next two months.
That reset allowed me to step out of overwhelm and intentionally make a decision that supports all areas of my life rather than react to the new information about my shoulder. I get to choose how I wish to heal and manage my injury, embracing flexibility (point 3) in my approach. It's not a decision I wish to make in haste.
Did I plan to write an article about this? No. Did I really have a couple of days to devote to writing this? Not really. But I did feel compelled to really wrap my head around this concept as I was reminding myself to ground back into harmony and capture it to share with you. Why? Because that's what I do at Modern Consciousness®! I advocate for and help others live intentionally and find their unique Treasure Map to Joy™ which includes living in harmony.
Life doesn't always go as planned, that's for sure, but applying these concepts and principles can certainly help you reharmonize your life. By defining what harmony means to you, cultivating self-awareness, embracing flexibility, practicing the pause, and embodying these practices, you can navigate life's unexpected turns with greater ease and intentionality.
My current situation is a testament to the power of these principles in maintaining harmony amidst life's complexities. It's about consciously choosing to embody these practices every day, allowing them to guide us through both calm and turbulent times.
Stacie Shifflett, Founder & CEO of Modern Consciousness
Stacie Shifflett is an entrepreneur, writer and proficient student of life blessed with the gifts of insight, grit, and optimism. With a tapestry of life experiences that span continents, careers, and countless roles, she's come to understand that our greatest challenges often lead to our most significant growth. Her mission is rooted in a simple yet powerful conviction: that by exploring our inner landscapes and unlocking our inherent potential, we transform not just our own life, but the world around us. She invites you to embrace the incredible resilience of the human spirit and the boundless possibilities that await when we dare to dream and act with intention and purpose.
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