Written by: Jackie Woodside, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
People often feel optimistic at the start of a new year. Finally, there’s a clean slate. Last year’s fits and starts are behind you. There’s renewed hope for greater clarity, more “stick-to-it-iveness.” But alas, the adage of “Things don’t change, people do” applies here more than ever!
You won’t change just because the calendar turns over a page. You won’t change because it is a new month or new year. Instead, you will change when you are excited about your values, purpose, and commitments; and when you have improved your systems, habits, and productivity.
While negative thoughts about yourself and your future are not entirely uncommon, they wreak havoc on your future success when you give them excessive importance.
I’ve been a coach and therapist for 30 years. I have helped countless people shift their thinking and behavior to create the desired experience in life. But, unfortunately, the five most common negative thoughts hold people back from fulfilling their goals and dreams.
1. Comparison Thoughts:
Comparison robs you of seeing your capabilities, achievements, and potential. You lose sight of all that you’ve accomplished and lose confidence. There will ALWAYS be people more (and less) skilled and accomplished than you. That is none of your business. Your business is to get to work making the most of your talents and energy.
2. All or Nothing Thinking:
When you hear yourself thinking that you’ll “never make it” or that you “always procrastinate” or that “things always take longer than they should,” you are stuck in “all or nothing thinking.” When you find yourself thinking and feeling in absolute terms, it’s time to step back and talk to yourself like a trusted advisor would speak to you. Be your own coach. Remind yourself of the times you took action, had a win, or got through a tough challenge. You’ve gotten where you are because you have made progress and will continue to do so. Setting and achieving goals is a lifetime practice. Stay with it, and you will reap the rewards.
3. Perfectionistic Thinking:
I don’t know anyone who started writing their first book and quickly became a bestseller or wrote their first screenplay and ended up on the front of a magazine. The notion of “overnight success” is a complete misnomer, and anyone who has achieved great success will affirm that. When you find yourself avoiding a challenging goal, remind yourself that you are getting better every day and that your job is to keep moving. Progress, not perfection!
4. Thoughts of Self-Loathing
Often when you are under stress, and your goals are taking longer than you anticipated, your nagging demons come racing to the fore with all manner of unkind narratives about your potential, your future, and about you! Your job is to recognize that stress creates negative thinking and step back. Take a brain break, re-focus on the bigger picture, and stay out of the weeds. You are a beautiful contribution to humanity, and your goals and life matter.
5. Resignation and Despair Thinking:
Let’s face it; most goals don’t go forward linearly. You can have the best-laid plans but still need to adjust, get input from others, and sometimes scrap the approach altogether. However, that does not mean you need to delve into despair thinking, “I messed up, so why bother?” or similar kinds of thoughts. Do you know that Colonel Sanders hawked out his fried chicken recipe 1,009 times before he found a restaurant that would purchase it from him? He had years of failure and misfortune in MANY businesses before he finally hit it big.
Accomplishing meaningful goals can seem daunting with all the smaller steps and actions required to fulfill your dream, but it is so worth it. Pursuing your passions and fulfilling your goals and vision is why you are here. It is the very purpose of your life to express the longings of your heart.
Your goals matter because your life matters. So, give all you can to pursue your dreams and goals and create a life worth living!
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Jackie Woodside, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jackie Woodside, CPC, MSW, is a best-selling author, TEDx speaker, radio and television personality, and trainer passionate about expanding the edge of human potential. Jackie has written three best-selling books and over 30 different training programs. She was featured along with Jack Canfield and Don Miguel Ruiz on the Wake-Up! TV series. She is the Founder of the Curriculum for Conscious Living and the Conscious Living and Money Vibe Summits. Jackie provides custom training programs or keynote speeches for organizations such as Blue Cross Blue Shield, Bayer Corporation, the Air Force National Guard, The National Association of Social Workers, Gallaudet University, and the Massachusetts Executive Office of Health and Human Services. Jackie is comitted to raising consciousness on the planet, creating a world that works for everyone.
