Trea Tijmens, the CEO of SuccessMatch, is an international elite matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach.
Did you know that men represent over 75% of the users on Apps like Tinder and Bumble? (source?) If you are a single guy wishing to find a great partner online, you need to stand out from the crowd. Lots of single men make key dating app mistakes that turn potential matches away before a conversation even begins. Here’s a breakdown of the top five online dating mistakes and tips on how to avoid them.
1. The “no effort” bio (or no bio at all)
Many men skip the bio section altogether or just write a few generic lines, like “Just ask” or “Here for a good time, not a long time.” The bio is your chance to showcase your personality, and ignoring it—or worse, writing something lazy—is a big dating app mistake. It sends the message that you are the “minimum effort guy” and aren’t serious or invested in meeting someone.
What to do instead
Use your bio as an opportunity to highlight your interests, values, or sense of humor. Keep it simple and authentic. Even a few sentences like, “Coffee addict, hiking enthusiast, always on the lookout for a good book recommendation” are more engaging and give women something to respond to.
2. Using horrible photos
I work with highly successful singles, and I’m always amazed those men, even those working at top levels in big multinational corporations, don’t have decent profile photos to use on dating apps. If truth be told, many of these pictures are unacceptable (think a selfie taken at home with a messy kitchen background or a poorly cropped picture where you can clearly see this was a photo of you with your former girlfriend or wife).
Using photos that are outdated, heavily filtered, or don’t clearly show your face is a dating app mistake and a red flag for single women. Photos where you’re wearing sunglasses in every shot, all group shots (leaving them guessing who you are), or even old vacation pics from five years ago are misleading and can lead to disappointment when you meet in person. And yes, profile photos of you holding a dead fish or with a naked upper torso are major turn-offs for most women.
What to do instead
Choose six high-quality photos that accurately represent who you are today. Include a mix of close-up shots, full-body photos, and maybe one or two that showcase hobbies or places you love. Make sure you’re the main subject in at least a few of the images, do not use photos with other people in it, and try to limit the shots with alcoholic beverages.
3. Overly showcasing material Possessions or “flexing”
Some men think that showing off their car, luxury brands, or flashy lifestyle will impress potential matches. While there’s nothing wrong with showing a bit of it, too much emphasis on material possessions can come off as inauthentic or as though you’re trying too hard to impress.
What to do instead
Balance is key. Choose photos that reflect genuine interests or passions instead of possessions. It’s more attractive for women to see someone enjoying their hobbies, traveling, or spending time with friends than it is to see them posing in front of a car. Let your interests and values shine instead of material items.
4. Being negative or setting “rules” in your bio
It’s surprisingly common for people to list “don’ts” or make demands in their bios, such as “No I am not a paying member, I cannot see your likes.” It’s a dating app mistake to make upfront demands such as: “Don’t message me if you’re just looking for attention” or “Only looking for fit women.” This approach will make you seem judgmental or close-minded.
What to do instead
Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t. Instead of listing negatives, emphasize the qualities you appreciate in others or the kind of connection you seek. For instance, try something like “Looking for someone who loves adventure and doesn’t take life too seriously” instead of outlining rules. This shifts your profile from feeling restrictive to being inviting and positive.
5. Kittenfishing
Kittenfishing is the practice of someone making themselves seem more attractive on the dating app. Kittenfishing means making slight deviations from the truth (aka lying!). For men, the most common ones claim to be X centimeters taller or X years younger than they really are.
Lying on your dating app profile is setting yourself up for failure! Yes, you may get the match, but when you go on a date, she will likely be disappointed and won’t see you again. You could also be reported to the app and banned!
What to do instead
Relationships are built on trust. If you lie about something on your dating profile, the woman may start wondering what else you’re lying about. Be honest. Either she likes you for who you are, or it is not a good match anyway.
Swap dating app mistakes for solid strategy
Avoiding these common dating app mistakes can make a huge difference in the quality of connections you build online. By showcasing your real interests and maintaining a positive tone, you’ll stand out from the crowd and attract women who are genuinely interested in getting to know you. So, take a little extra time to fine-tune your profile—it’s worth the effort!
Ready for a quick start or restart of your dating app profile without costly mistakes? Check out my dating coaching and matchmaking services and benefit from my 19 years of experience as a science-based dating coach and elite matchmaker.
Trea Tijmens, Elite Matchmaker and Dating Coach
Trea Tijmens, the CEO of SuccessMatch, is an international elite matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach.
Trea believes that to love and be loved is a basic human need and that people do not thrive without love.
A former head-hunter, she founded SuccessMatch in 2005. Based in Switzerland, she works with local and international clientele and prides herself on her high success rate.
Trea is passionate about helping her highly international single professional clientele transition from where they are today to where they want to be; in a happy, fulfilling, lasting relationship with the right partner.
