Written by: Susan Watson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
At some point in our life, every one of us will experience a loss that is so great, and our hearts seem to break. A loss can be many different things — death, broken dreams, divorce, job loss, and more. There are no rules around a broken heart. Whatever we love and have become attached to place us in a state of vulnerability to heartache.
Today, I briefly want to touch on grief and healing. Every person needs to know that no matter what you feel and think right now — mending your heart, finding hope and meaning in the future — it is possible, even if it feels impossible at this moment.
Please know your grief is real and unique to you. No one will feel the loss and grief the same way as you do. Grief is personal, and it is what you feel and think. It is what takes place inside you. I wouldn't ask anyone who is grieving not to feel what they have inside. I wouldn't tell them to hide it from the world. Your grief is real, and it deserves to be acknowledged. Allow yourself to spend time with your thoughts and feelings. Express this outwards. Do not hide it, mask it or pretend it doesn’t exist.
This is a special and important message as all our instincts scream at us — it is too much, too much for us to bear. This is a terrible pain, and we may instinctively wish to deny it or hide it from the world.
After the initial shock and numbness of grief wears off, the healing can start its journey by several steps — acknowledging that your heart is broken and you are feeling pain, and acknowledging healing is required, and the journey takes time. Your very own personal journey will take as long as it takes. However, healing can take place.
If you give your grief the time it deserves during the early months, you will find that your life will find meaning quicker, and the healing will start to take place.
Let us be clear on what I mean here. I am not saying that a major loss in our life and deep grief ever really fully leaves us. I am saying that your life can have meaning again. Your life can grow around your grief. You may carry it inside you. However, you can still feel joy, passion, and purpose going forward.
Try not to compare your grief to that of others, even to close family members. No one is you, and no one will feel and think the way you do. Try and speak out about your loss, thoughts, and feelings, as this can be comforting. It can bring some peace, even if it is just for a little while.
There are stages we move through when healing. They include grieving, mourning, and learning to live again with meaning. As I mentioned, how long that takes is down to you. One thing that is for sure is that unexpressed grief does not heal.
Healing takes courage. To heal, you must allow yourself to feel. Self-care is so important. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Do not expect too much too quickly. Do what feels right for you.
Rest and eat you as well you can. Take warm baths. Take a couple of minutes, a few times a day — just sit and be aware of your breathing, taking long, deep, and slow breaths. You could even set an alarm to do this as a reminder.
If you have been lucky enough to love and to have been loved back, you will at some point face loss and grief.
Loss and grief are the love for what has been lost.
Although the grief does not have such an impact on your life as your life continues to grow, the love stays the same.
My dad died suddenly over 26 years ago. When I talk about him, and I do a lot, I think about how much I LOVE him... not loved him. You see, the love never fades or lessens. I love him as much as I always have. The love stays and becomes precious. It's part of you, and it never leaves you. It stays in a gentle, caring, and wonderful way.
Enjoy the love... the love that is precious.
I know it is hard to be kind to yourself when you are suffering. When you laugh, you may feel guilty, wondering how you can do that. I want to share that you can still feel joy while you grieve. Think about this. If a loved one gave birth to a new baby, would you feel joy and happiness? Would you still celebrate the birth even if you had experienced a loss? Laughter, love, and joy can and do live side by side with loss and grief. You can feel and acknowledge both.
Try writing down at least 15 things that can make you smile. Aim to at least see the good things in life and feel content while you feel sadness.
This is such a massive subject, and I have barely touched upon it. I want to invite you to visit my Facebook page, "Healing a Broken Heart." You can also find my website here.
I do add information and support daily for all who are looking for a helping hand. I hope that I can help you find some comfort when you need it most.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, connect with me on LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Susan!
Susan Watson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Susan Watson specializes in working worldwide with all ages experiencing Anxiety, Emotions, and Trauma in a content freestyle, so that no talking really needs to occur unless wanted. Working with feelings and emotions within the body, Susan releases the emotional connection of past experiences. She teaches self-help tools to help others live their best life, the life that is deserved. Susan supports individuals, groups, and the workplace with her Be Your Own Empowered Hero workshops, which were introduced as a measure to reduce the risk of future issues with mental and emotional health.
