Written by Lisa Brett, Career Writer
Author Lisa Brett is a career writer with a background in TV reporting & newsreading before 'going to the other side' & working in politics as a media advisor to cabinet ministers. Born in Sydney, Australia, but currently living in southern England, Finding Happiness When It Hurts was published in 2022 & is her first foray into the self-help arena.
Are you being, or have you been, bullied? Or are you a bully? These are uncomfortable questions, and if you’ve experienced bullying, whether as a victim or a perpetrator, this article is for you.
If you want to take back control when a person or group is intentionally trying to harm you, click here to buy my book.
If you are trying to intimidate another person, my book can help you too by offering insights into why you behave in an unhealthy way and guiding you toward making positive changes in your life.
For the author of Finding Happiness When It Hurts, being bullied turned into a huge blessing because it led to her running two successful businesses from home.
This book came into my life just when I needed it. It's beautifully written and illustrated and full of warmth and understanding. I have made many notes while reading it and will no doubt return to them regularly. I've always been a firm believer that changing the way you think about things can make you feel better and that your mind is the most powerful tool you have, but when you're ground down, it can be hard. – Janey MacReads | Amazon.co.uk
What happened?
I once worked somewhere where I was very happy. I loved the job, felt fulfilled, and enjoyed working with the people around me. People make a place, don’t they?
Then, my boss left. He was replaced by someone completely different. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but this person turned out to be a bully, which was terrible. My new boss bullied many people, including me.
They undermined me, set me up to fail, and constantly questioned my abilities. This person even tried to frame me for something I didn’t do.
Sadly, workplace bullying is more common than you might think, as this article by psychotherapist and coach Professor Theresa Agostinelli highlights: Corporate Workplace Bullying: 4 Tips To Manage Bullying At Work.
The bullying made me sick
One by one, people started leaving. I stuck it out for a while, but it became apparent that nothing was going to change, and nothing I did or said made a difference.
The bullying was making me sick. I felt so stressed. I was traumatised. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know how to stop it, and I couldn’t see a way out.
The UK’s leading mental health charity, Mind, recognises the huge negative impact that bullying at work can have and has produced a guide for people who need help and support: Mind’s Guide: How to Be Mentally Healthy at Work – Difficult Work Relations.
Unacceptable behaviour
All bullying is unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated. It can affect anyone, and we are all potential targets, whether we are adults, teenagers, or children. Bullying can occur at school, in the community, at work, online, or at home.
Most people understand bullying as behavior by an individual or group, repeated over time, that is intended to hurt another individual or group, either physically or emotionally.
If you need assistance or advice about bullying, some helplines and websites can provide you with information and support, like this one: Anti-Bullying Alliance – Find Help and Support
Staying vs. leaving
I started thinking about my options. I wanted to work from home and be my own boss. For a long time, I researched different jobs I could do, but nothing felt right, and all my inquiries led to a dead end.
Then, one day, I bumped into someone I knew in town, and they told me what they were doing. A light bulb switched on in my head. That’s it! I thought. It’s obvious, and I get to use my existing skills.
When I got home, I did a Google search. I made a phone call and spent an hour talking to someone. I subsequently enrolled in a celebrancy course, studied in my free time, and, several months later, earned a diploma.
In my spare time – and there wasn’t much of that – I sought out work, built a website, printed business cards, and promoted my fledgling business in as many ways as possible.
I adored this book, it really spoke to me and I could not put it down. Warm, enlightening and down to earth. Highly recommend you read this book. – Amazon Customer | Amazon.co.uk
Persistence paid off
One day, someone took a punt on me. Hallelujah! After that, jobs slowly started rolling in, and I fit them into my days off. It took a long time to earn people’s respect, but I was getting there, one step at a time.
Eventually, I established enough of a client base to allow me to quit my job. It was hard work, and, for the first time, I didn’t have a guaranteed income. But I was happy and making my own decisions.
Now, I run a successful business from home, and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t even need to advertise or promote my work, as I get so much repeat business and so many referrals.
But that’s not all. Several years later, I launched my second business as an author. I was able to spend time, money, and resources writing and publishing a book about how to find happiness and blessings in adversity because my celebrancy business was doing so well and ticking over nicely.
It feels like I have been rewarded by the Universe for taking a leap of faith all those years ago, leaving a job with a bullying boss.
This book is simply amazing. I could not put it down.It touches on some very relatable topics. Lisa has a way of conveying stories with such warmth and hope. It helps you to believe everything will be OK. – Lisa Cunningham | Amazon.co.uk
Turning being bullied into an advantage
I never thought I would, but I silently thank my bullying former boss from time to time, because if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be where I am now. What a blessing their bullying turned out to be.
I loved this book because it did what the title said it would do. It helped me to navigate a difficult time in my life and ultimately find happiness on the other side of the abyss. It gave me the tools to think differently and changed my perspective in a way I hadn't heard of before or tried. – Ian M | Amazon.co.uk
9 takeaways of bullying
When somebody bullies and undermines you, it’s probably because they’re unhappy, stressed, or traumatized in some way.
A bully is likely reacting to negative things happening in their own life, but they’re responding to it in an unhealthy way.
Whatever is going on in a bully’s life doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it might help you understand it.
Bullying isn’t about you. It’s about the bully, the way they feel, and how they choose to express themselves.
Don’t ever blame yourself. When someone bullies you, it’s not your fault.
Don’t tolerate bullying behavior. Speak to someone about it, and get help if you feel you need to.
You can sometimes turn bullying to your advantage and use it to make a positive change in your life.
Being bullied can be a springboard for something new or for taking inspired action.
Your happiness and sense of well-being are more important than anything.
Bullying is just one of the many challenging subjects explored in Finding Happiness When It Hurts. Other issues include Alzheimer’s, job loss, failing an exam, divorce, financial difficulties, losing your house, addiction, and death.
In addition, real-life stories from people around the world give the book richness, thanks to the diversity of experiences they share.
The first step towards transforming your pain, whether it stems from being bullied or something else, into power begins with the insights, tips, and guidance in Finding Happiness When It Hurts.
Learn more by downloading my book. Click here to get it.
Lisa Brett, Career Writer
Lisa Brett has had a varied writing career, but this is her first foray into the self-help arena. A friend introduced her to such books during a challenging time, but it wasn't until Lisa was in the midst of the longest and darkest period of her life that she discovered how to help herself, and she wrote Finding Happiness When It Hurts to share her insights. Lisa was born in Australia but currently lives in England with her golden Labrador Retriever, Daisy Boo, to whom her book is dedicated. Lisa's aim is that her book becomes your go-to book in times of need.
