Written by Tana J Cohen, Somatic Coach & Embodied
Tana J Cohen, a Trauma Informed Somatic Coach & Embodied Mindfulness Mentor, specialises in uplifting Compassionate Leaders & Changemakers. Facing early sibling bereavement, bullying, and neurodivergence, she overcame severe anxiety, panic attacks, C-PTSD, and burn-out.
Okay, so Christmas holidays are around the corner. I know... not exactly the emoji you'd expect to follow such jolly, bell-ringing words, but let me offer you what I hope is a refreshing take on this pressure-laden holiday.
Gratitude: The reality behind the expectation
You don’t have to be grateful. Unless you truly feel a somatic sense of gratitude permeating through your body, forcing gratitude just to avoid seeming spoiled or privileged only reinforces guilt and shame in your system. The idea that you must feel thankful, especially during the holiday season, can often feel like just another weight on your shoulders.
Maybe the comfort of your home and food on the table are reasons to feel grateful, but if the reality is that you’re navigating family triggers, overeating and feeling gross every day, people-pleasing to keep everyone happy, and still finding no time to deeply rest—even though you’re on "holiday"—then perhaps gratitude feels like a hop, skip, and jump too far from where you are. The truth is, sometimes we’re just trying to get through it all, and that’s okay. Acknowledge where you’re at without forcing yourself into a box of “gratefulness” that doesn’t feel authentic.
Parental pressure: Recognizing your efforts as a parent
If you’re trying to be an amazing parent this holiday, how about spending some time recognizing the reasons you already are? Your kids are loved. Yes, you go off the rails sometimes, lose your patience, and react in ways you wish you didn’t, but you’re human. And kids are A LOT. Even the “easy” ones.
Instead of constantly stressing about “not becoming your parents,” which is a real fear for many, focus on the good-enough-ness (or even awesomeness) of being you. You are already doing enough. Sometimes, letting go of the idea that you have to be perfect can give you more peace than striving to meet an unattainable standard.
Being a child again: Navigating family dynamics
If you’re spending time with your parents or extended family this season, the chances of reverting back to feeling like a teenager are high. I’m not going to tell you to “breathe and find your center.” Instead, give yourself some acknowledgment for how hard it can be. Those old dynamics are hard to escape, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by them.
I have all the tools in my belt, and I still drive myself up the wall when spending too much time with my mum.
The point is, you don’t have to win every battle. Beating yourself up for not being more enlightened or “Om Zen Shanti” isn’t going to get you anywhere. What might offer solace is remembering where people come from. They, too, are operating under years of protective mechanisms, triggers, societal conditioning, emotional suppression, and pain. They’re not perfect either, no matter how hard they try.
And if all that higher awareness and perspective goes out the window too? Screw it. Holidays are hard.
Dealing with holiday expectations: Letting go of the perfect Christmas
I spent most of mine resenting the fact that my brother and sister were floating on marshmallow clouds, leaving me behind to watch happy family ads on TV. Fun. Point being, few people have fairy tale Christmases, and that’s okay.
As I say, it's a pressure-laden holiday for many, and for those who find it merry and bright... how nice for them. There's nothing wrong with you for having a different experience than the one advertised to sell mince pies.
Look, considering the circumstances, you're doing great. You’re tired. You’re navigating difficult emotional landscapes, and the holidays tend to highlight what’s missing rather than what’s present.
Let yourself off the hook, and remember, you owe less to people than you might think. There’s no need to try to be everything to everyone. Your own well-being is just as important, and it’s okay to choose you.
Taking time for yourself: Disconnecting and recharging
Give yourself the gift of calm with the Calm the Chaos Somatic Journaling Practice. This simple yet powerful practice will help you ground yourself, release tension, and find emotional balance during the busiest time of year.
Download it now and let the practice guide you to clarity, peace, and a deeper connection to your body and mind, allowing you to navigate the holidays with more ease. Your well-being matters. Make space for it this season.
You can download it here to start your holiday reset. It takes just a few minutes a night and makes more of a difference than you might think.
Tana J Cohen, Somatic Coach & Embodied
Tana J Cohen, a Trauma Informed Somatic Coach & Embodied Mindfulness Mentor, specialises in uplifting Compassionate Leaders & Changemakers. Facing early sibling bereavement, bullying, and neurodivergence, she overcame severe anxiety, panic attacks, C-PTSD, and burn-out. Utilising her experiences, she dedicated her career to aiding others in healing and self-discovery. Tana's approach in Trauma-Informed Somatic Coaching has guided many to deeper serenity and self-awareness. Her extensive training in mental health and wellbeing underpins her successful client transformations. Dedicated to nurturing growth and healing, Tana enables clients to achieve a seamless balance of wellbeing and inner strength.
