Written by: Alison Rothman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Being a fully feeling, present, awake, aligned human can be uncomfortable to say the least.
I had a client say to me the other week: “I want to be comfortable in my own skin.” YES, I exclaimed echoing this rather over-used, yet potent way of describing a state of being that so many long for. This language bounced around frequently in the realm of therapy, embodiment, and personal growth.
These are words I have used often along my own journey.
These words I understand with the whole of my being. The personal war with my body and myself spanned decades before I had the awakening of what this statement really means.
Absolutely, we, as humans, long to feel peace-filled and ease-full in our own skin…in our bodies, in our hearts, and in how we are moving through life on the whole. However, to me, it is more about developing the skills to access “comfort” in the discomfort of our human existence.
Unless we are numbing, distracting, avoiding, and/or completely disconnected from ourselves, human life can be uncomfortable.
Absolutely, there are moments of ease when we can truly allow ourselves to rest into, to be rocked by, and to be held in our own pulsation of existence.
Nonetheless, for most, being a fully feeling, alive, and present human is uncomfortable.
Addictions are rampant amongst humanity because of this very reason. Addictions to anything, even seemingly benign addictions to technology, social media, cleaning, shopping, etc. keep us from living in the present moment and feeling ourselves and our feelings on a somatic level.
So many of us were not given the tools and resources to learn how to stay present and connected to our bodies and hearts, as the discomforts of life swirled around us. There is no judgment on any level in this vein. I can relate to this journey as a recovered addict myself.
And, it is never too late to learn these crucial life skills. To gain the capacity to stay present and connected to oneself in midst of the discomforts of human existence and to not numb and distract.
When we gain access to ourselves on this level, everything has the potential to change in ourself and in our being. That is when we begin to move through life authentically empowered, aligned, and embodied in the truth of exactly who we are.
We are able to breathe so deeply down into ourselves, into our bodies, our hearts, and our souls that we do gain the capacity to feel comfortable in the discomfort of life.
That is when we become impenetrable to the outside world. That is when our inner well of resource, connection, and resilience takes shape and we have the opportunity to move through life anchored in this unwavering pool of grounded resource.
From there, no matter what or who comes our way we truly can become unshakable in our truth and upright in who we are.
This is a lifelong journey and path of exploration, trial and error, falling backwards and stepping forward, feeling ourselves upright in moments and collapsed in others. The most potent choice that we can make in this quest is to continuously turn towards ourselves and our flavors of life, turn away from comparison of others and their course, and make the decision to honor ourselves exactly where we are in every given moment.
To learn how to meet ourselves and our unique imprint of life with compassion, empathy, and overflowing love from the core of who we are.
What can you do when you are struggling with accessing that ground and ease in your body and in yourself? Here are a few of my top actions when approaching myself in these moments of disconnect:
BREATHE: This may sound obvious, however, so many of us are not breathing properly and it can cause a whole host of emotional and physical issues, including an extreme disconnect to the present moment and to ourselves. I suggest taking some time every day to consciously bring your awareness to your breath and to your body. If you are of the female form, using the Kegel exercise to activate your deep core muscles and connection. Consciously send your breath down into your low belly and your pelvic floor, let your belly be soft, open, and receptive. Invite in the possibility of relaxation from your root. Simultaneously allowing your upper body, your shoulders, your neck, your head, your jaw, your forehead to relax and soften. Spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day in this pause and connection. Begin to notice how this practice alone translates into your life…if you are able to access your breath in a more fluid and embodied way as you move through your day-to-day. You are building a new muscle of reference from deep within your core, the truth of who you are.
MAKE CONTACT WITH YOUR BODY: Make physical contact with yourself through compassionate and loving touch. Touch is nourishing, grounding, and anchoring. Being a longtime bodyworker, touch is my native language. Over the years, I have cultivated practices that I use with myself and offer clients in this realm to calm the nervous system, connect with our bodies, and feel held by one’s own hands. It is a powerful way of meeting oneself and the ultimate gesture of self-care.
AFFIRMATIONS: How we speak to ourselves makes a tremendous difference in our ability to connect on a deeper and embodied level to our truest selves. The language can be quieter and more subtle messages one may be giving ourselves consciously or unconsciously. These can imprint how we move through life in massive ways, whether we are cognizant of it or not. Small, powerful shifts in our words, language, messages, and stories we tell ourselves, speak about ourselves and carry with us, can have a profoundly impactful effect on our entire existence and ways of moving through the world.
MOVEMENT: Movement can be extremely connecting and grounding when we are able to slow down and bring in the quality of mindfulness. Through breath, tracking body sensations, and continuously orienting to the present moment through our senses, we can provide the platform for a deep and profound awakening from the core of who we are. Dropping our energy and awareness into the lower half of our bodies through inviting in our center of gravity to become rooted from the soles of our feet.
FOOD: Food and how we are nourishing ourselves can have so many different effects on our state of being. I acknowledge that food can be a sensitive subject for many, myself included. This section is to simply offer the awareness that what we choose to ingest affects our capacity to drop into our bodies at various moments in our days and junctures in our lives. If staying grounded and present in your body is a challenge for you, I would offer you the nudge to pay attention to how you feel after eating certain foods. Never with any judgement, of course. Our foods today are laden with sugar and processed ingredients. An overall intention in feeding and nourishing our bodies, and therefore our entire being, is to keep things simple, to eat whole, unprocessed foods, and to avoid sugar to the best of our ability. And, if you do eat the processed, sugary foods, just notice how you feel. That alone is motivation to make some shifts.
SMELL: Bringing ourselves into a space of sensory connection is a crucial aspect of feeling grounded in our bodies. Using various essential oils on points of our body, including the wrists, the neck, and souls of our feet (that is more of a grounding point, rather than being able to smell it!), can have a tremendous impact in our capacity to feel present. Some of my favorite smelling oils are: Vetiver, Frankincense, Lavender, Rose, and Sandalwood. I suggest finding your own scents that speak to your body and being and invite in a sense of peace and calm when inhaling them.
SOUND: What we take into our being through the sounds of our environment can have a huge impact on our ability to feel grounded and connected in ourselves. Beginning to really notice the various sounds of life and how we feel in those moments, is a wonderful practice of finding our own authentic and aligned connection to our truest selves. Simple practices such as stepping outside into the natural world and listening to the sounds of the birds singing, the crickets chirping, the trees blowing in the wind, can bring a sense of calm to the nervous system and the body on the whole. I am also a huge believer in listening to the various frequencies of the Binaural Beats to bring a deeper connection right into the core of who we are. They work with the brain waves and can have tremendous impact in our capacity for presence and inner resource. You can find a huge array of them on YouTube touching in on the chakras and various human ailments (anxiety, depression, and overwhelm to name a few).
TEA: Drinking herbal teas, as a ritual and a gesture of connection, is one of my life’s obsessions. Herbs are medicine for the body, for the heart, the nervous system, the blood, the bones, for every single internal organ, the tissues, the muscles, the mind, the spirit, and the soul (to name a few!). The benefits are truly endless. Pouring a cup of herbal tea and sitting down with it -- savoring, sipping, smelling, and tasting -- is truly the balm for everything. This act, gesture, and ritual drops us so deeply down into our bodies and provides the opportunity to nourish and soothe from the inside out.
FLOWER ESSENCES: Flower essences are incredibly potent and deep medicine for the entire system, when used appropriately. Working with flower essences gives us the opportunity to tap into ourselves on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level providing invaluable ways of healing that we may not be able to access without the assistance of the flowers. I highly recommend doing some of your own research on this medicine and also to seek out a skilled practitioner for guidance. They can truly change your life from the inside out when used with intention and awareness.
The path of holistic wellness and healing seeks to approach the whole person from every possible angle. The beauty of this work is that the options are endless as to how we can meet each moment, every pivot, challenge, and symptom that we, as humans, experience.
Obviously, this is not a complete list of ways of meeting ourselves and creating a deeper level relationship to ourselves so as to meet life from that place of grounded connection, but it is certainly a powerful start. I always say…keep it simple. Try some new ways and see how they feel in your body and in your being.
We can create sustainable healing from the inside out, learning how to locate ourselves, be with ourselves, and feel *comfort* from deep within ourselves in midst of the discomfort of life…one step, one gesture, one choice, one act on our own behalf at a time.
I would be honored to be of support in navigating your own healing path. I have over 25 years of experience in the realm of holistic healing and my tool belt is vast. Please feel free to schedule a complimentary chat time with me via Zoom to see if we are a good fit. Here is the link to do so.
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Alison Rothman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Alison Rothman MA CYT, is a Body-Centered Holistic Wellness Coach, Women's Wellness Transformational Retreat Leader, Group Facilitator, Podcast Host, and founder of Embody Life Holistic Wellness, utilizing her decades of study, experience, and first-hand knowledge of the capacity within the human body and spirit to heal.
She provides clients and students with the ability to access their inner resources and release debilitating life patterns in order to reclaim their body, mind, spirit, and heart connection.
Alison is passionate about supporting and empowering women to unwind their nervous systems, make peace with their bodies, and remember who they truly are.
She has survived several highly traumatizing life events including a house fire and a near death experience. Additionally, Alison has navigated divorce and single motherhood for over a decade, utilizing her practices in support of her own embodiment during times of stress and challenge.
She carries with her an embodied understanding of the wisdom and intelligence of the body and brings to her sessions, groups, and writing a deep intimacy with herself, her own process of life experiences, and a passion for supporting and inspiring others in utilizing the magic of everyday living as medicine for growth and healing.
Alison is an expert in the realm of trauma, eating disorder and addiction recovery, body image issues, and utilizing holistic wellness practices to attain sustainable and empowered healing.
