Written by: Aura E. Martinez, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you constantly feeling burnout or exhaustion and finding it hard to get yourself to do what you desire? If this is you, this article will help you assess what it is that’s leading you to feel what you are feeling.
When you’re experiencing exhaustion or burnout that’s keeping you from doing the things that you say you want to do & you’re finding it hard to stay motivated, then it’s time for you to find the actual source of this rather than jump into any conclusion of just giving up on what you want or taking long periods of break.
I’ve noticed that more and more people are experiencing burnout, whether in business, in everyday life, with all their responsibilities, etc., and that they find it hard to feel recharged. When this is the case, we may think that the thing we need to do is rest.
You may need rest, but you must realize what kind of rest you need. Sometimes we think the rest we need is physical when it is not. What do I mean by what I just shared? Have you ever had those moments where you are physically rested yet don’t feel rested?
If you answered yes to this question, then this is what I mean by us sometimes thinking that the rest we need is a physical one, but it is not, and I will discuss more in another article the different types of rest we all need.
1. Find out what is genuinely leaking your energy.
Sometimes we think that the thing leaking our energy is the number of things we must do, and, in some cases, that may be the issue, but in others, there is something else that we may not be seeing that isn’t allowing us to feel as energized as we want to feel. If this is your case, I recommend that you investigate even deeper.
Are all the responsibilities you have the culprit of your burnout?
Is there something else you may be overlooking that needs to be addressed?
If so, what do you think that is?
Is there something that you need to face that you have been avoiding?
Is there something you’re doing to please someone else, but it doesn’t satisfy you?
Is there any emotion occupying your space that needs your attention? For instance, anger, worry, overwhelm, etc.
Several things leak our energy, and it is easy for us to say that the number of things we must do contributes to our burnout. If what you are doing are things that take you closer to what you truly desire, but something else is getting in the way that you are unaware of, you can fall into the trap of thinking that perhaps you need to pause everything you are doing because it’s those things that are causing you to feel how you are feeling.
If you think that a particular action is causing you to feel burnout, then consider this next point which is:
2. What’s the energy behind everything you are doing?
The energy behind everything you’re doing is another thing we tend to overlook, which matters just as much as what you are doing. There are times when it’s not the number of things we must do nor what we are doing, per se, that is the actual culprit of our exhaustion but the energy behind what we do.
You will discover the energy behind what you’re doing by finding the real reason behind you doing what you are doing. The real reason is the key to this question, not the superficial reason for why you’re doing what you are doing.
If you’re doing anything to keep up with the Joneses, as we say, that’s the energy behind what you’re doing, and when this is the case, you may feel exhausted doing all you are doing because you’re not doing it for the right reasons.
If you’re doing anything to please others or look pleasing to someone, that’s the energy behind your actions. When this is the case, again, no matter how much you try to put your best foot forward and make it work, it will drain you because you’re not doing it for the right reasons.
If what you’re doing is coming out of fantasy rather than grounded on your vision, then anything you do regarding this dream you have will exhaust you because you need to be more realistic about what you say you want. (More on this later)
Therefore, you always want to be honest with yourself first as to why you want to do anything you want to do. You want to ensure that the reason behind your actions is the correct one for you. When you do anything because it’s what you sincerely desire to do, this is when you will feel fulfilled with everything you do, despite the number of things you do.
3. Are you ensuring you meet all your needs?
It’s essential to address this because you must ensure you meet all your needs to avoid exhaustion. Not only is it vital that you meet your physical needs, as in making sure that you are eating right, exercising, and sleeping well, but it is also crucial to meet other needs that are equally important for your whole development as a human being.
You must meet your mental needs. Your mental health will determine your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Your mental health also affects how you interact with others, manage stress, deal with challenges, and overcome setbacks. You cannot afford to disregard your mental needs.
The more you meet your mental needs, the more you can handle life’s challenges. Look at taking care of your mental needs as an armor that you are placing on yourself & a healthy boundary you are setting for yourself. So, I invite you to consider the following when it comes to your mental needs:
Are you mentally stimulating yourself? (i.e., learning a new skill, a new hobby, something that challenges you, etc.)
Are you feeding yourself mentally? (i.e., reading books that lift your soul or provide a different perspective in life, etc.)
Are you learning things that enrich your being? (This helps you spiritually as well)
Are you providing yourself with evidence of how great you are? (This is part of you feeding your self-concept and self-esteem)
You must meet your emotional needs. According to an article in Mind Body Green, “9 Basic Emotional Needs Everyone Has & How to Meet Them”, Abraham Maslow’s research psychologists have identified nine specific emotional needs that we all have. They are security, volition, attention, emotional connection, connection to community, privacy, a sense of self, achievement & meaning. If you’re wondering what volition means, this refers to feeling a sense of control of your life. As you are considering all these emotional needs, ask yourself the following:
Do you feel supported and loved?
Do you feel safe in your personal life?
Do you feel understood by those around you?
Do you love yourself?
Do you feel in control of your life?
Do you feel connected to your loved ones?
Are you proud of yourself and all that you have accomplished?
Do you give yourself time to reflect?
Do you give yourself space to do what you want to do?
Do you do things that have meaning for you?
You must meet your social needs. We all need to belong, be loved, feel needed, and for closeness. Regarding relationships, this has a more significant impact than you can imagine on your overall self-esteem, beliefs, accomplishments, etc. For this reason, I recommend that you look at where you see yourself in life and what you desire out of your circle of friends and family because all this will guide you into knowing what kind of people to surround yourself with. As you start considering your social needs, start asking yourself the following:
Are you surrounded by people that grow you?
Do you feel safe with those you have chosen as friends?
Do they stimulate you to be your best self?
Are they open and honest with you with love and compassion?
Do you feel loved & valued by them?
Are you both on similar or different paths?
How do you feel about your social life?
What kind of friends do you crave?
Do your friends support you?
Your spiritual needs matter as well. Being connected with your higher self, having faith, and knowing & living your core values are all vital to your spiritual self. When you disconnect from your higher self, you may experience a sense of loss and disconnect from what you’re doing & from everyday life. All this leads to misalignment, and lack of alignment will lead to spiritual exhaustion. As you are considering your spiritual needs, I invite you to ask yourself the following:
Do you do things that light up your being?
Are you constantly seeking growth?
Are you leaning into your curiosities?
Are you doing the inner work necessary so you don’t carry issues that don’t pertain to you?
If money was not an issue, what would you do with your time?
What do you value?
Are you living according to your values?
If you think about it, all these things matter more than you can imagine. When you ensure you are all filled up inside, you will overflow with joy, happiness, and peace, and whatever you give to others won’t feel like others are taking from you.
4. Is everything you’re doing grounded in a vision?
I want to return to one of the last things I mentioned in point No.2 if you’re doing anything around a fantasy you have rather than an already grounded vision. I will explain the difference between the two.
Anything that is done based on fantasy would be if, for example, someone wants to lose weight, but they don’t want to eat right or exercise. Wanting to lose weight, in this case, is pure fantasy because they’re not willing to do what it takes to lose weight. When this happens, working out will feel like work, and anything that feels like work will be exhausting. Prepping meals will feel like too much to do and, therefore, exhausting. Even if this person puts in the work, since this is rooted in fantasy, if they don’t see any results soon, the likelihood of them giving up is much higher.
When something is grounded in a vision, there is a strong willingness to do it, regardless of the apparent results. There is a determination that only relies on something other than outside validation to keep going because something so substantial within you keeps you going. Whether you see results or not, you keep going no matter what, and you are not exhausted.
A vision allows you to keep going from a place of certainty because you can feel, see, smell, and touch what you know is already yours, even though it is not yet in your physical reality. Even if there are setbacks and moments where you question yourself, you don’t necessarily experience exhaustion that makes you feel that you need a month off from what you say you desire to do.
5. Is there something in your lifestyle that doesn’t light you up?
Our lifestyle plays a significant role in our mood and perception of life. If you are living a life that doesn’t excite you to wake up in the morning, this will drain you. When this is the case, ask yourself the following:
What specifically about your lifestyle doesn’t excite you?
What would need to be different in your life to feel great?
How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? Why do you think you feel this way?
How do you feel when you go to bed at night? Why do you think you feel this way?
You want to understand your feelings and why you feel this way because your feelings are a guide that shows you the way to what may be off in your life. Your emotions matter more than you can imagine, so don’t disregard them.
To conclude this article, I encourage you to always look deep within yourself and your overall life and see what needs changing. Be mindful of the season that you’re in within you. Always be curious about what is going on in your inner world. Lean in so that you know what you need to do next.
You ask yourself these questions, and you will be on your way to the source of your burnout and knowing what you must do to feel your most energized self.
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Aura E. Martinez, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Aura E. Martinez is a Self-Discovery and Empowerment Coach helping women gain total clarity in their purpose so that they can wake up to a daily life of fulfillment and certainty. As a person who has traveled the world as a Flight Attendant, the opportunity has helped her learn and see so much and she discovered the most fabulous place for us all to see that is truly the key to greater well-being and she shared that with others worldwide.
She is also the founder of Live to the Max™/Viva al máximo™, author of the book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve and the journal Creating a Lifetime of Wellness Journal: Your Personal Coach to the Different Areas of Your Life. The book has been seen in Spirituality & Health magazine, Psychology Today, and Natural Awakenings NYC edition magazine.
