Feminine Energy in a Masculine World and Embracing Your Power Without Compromise
- Brainz Magazine
- 2 hours ago
- 7 min read
Gillian is the Managing Director of Emerge Development Consultancy, which she founded 28 years ago. She is a Master Executive Coach working with many CEOs and managing Directors globally. She is also an international speaker and, in 2020, was named by f: Entrepreneur as one of the leading UK Female Entrepreneurs in the I also campaign. In 2023, she was named the Leader of the Year by the Women’s Business Club. In 2024, she was named Businesswoman of the Decade.
For many centuries the world seemed to favour assertive and dominant approaches (which we would describe as masculine energy) so it has been refreshing to see women redefining what it means to lead and succeed by using feminine energy, not by rejecting masculine traits but through adopting a far more balanced projection of demonstrating and valuing intuition, emotional intelligence and collaboration. The statistics are clear: Women in leadership who display these qualities often have better results over those who display more aggressive traits.
This article explores how women reclaimed their feminine energy without apologising and how recent events have threatened to diminish the impact that this has on women’s futures.
But first, it is important to understand what we mean by feminine versus masculine energy and why it matters. It is actually not about gender but about the archetypal forces that exist in all of us. If we look at masculine traits, we would probably identify structure, discipline, action, logic, assertiveness, and competitive whereas feminine traits are more inclined to intuition, creativity, receptivity, empathy, fluidity, multi-tasking, and collaboration. Neuroscience has helped us to identify and understand more about these traits and how women’s brains are different from men’s. This doesn’t mean that men cannot possess feminine traits and vice versa, but more that there is a predisposition to be stronger in certain areas.
Why does it matter? For many decades, there has been a strong message that women will be more successful if they adopt masculine traits, such as being strong and crushing goals. But this conditioning often leads to burnout, disconnection and a strong feeling of loss of authenticity. Feminine energy brings balance, sustainability and a human-centred approach to leadership and life. This can often be far more conducive to bringing teams along on a journey, especially when times are tough.
This is why it is so disappointing when recent headlines have started to show signs of what happens when leadership is out of balance.
Recently, Mark Zuckerberg incited deeply divided opinions when he commented on the composition of Meta’s board and the influence that they had, doubling down on his strategy and control of the company despite growing concerns about diversity in the thought of such a predominantly white male board. This was quickly followed by fresh revelations in a book from a senior member of Meta’s staff about Sheryl Sandberg’s tenure at Facebook. For years, many women had held her in revere following her Lean In philosophy, but readers discovered that she ultimately encouraged women to succeed by playing the masculine game harder, rather than changing the game itself by leaning into female energy. For years, we, as women, had looked up to Sandberg as a model of feminist corporate success, so seeing that model as incomplete was so disappointing. It revealed a version of empowerment that meant sacrificing emotional intelligence, empathy and emotional depth for a seat at the table and, even worse, accepting that the table was shaped by male expectations and ‘tech-bro’ culture.
The moral of the story even brilliant women in power can bow to the pressure of systems that don’t honour feminine energy. So, we may get that seat at the table, but if the table itself remains one of control, dominance, and hierarchical thinking, then our power is not real.
Why is it so difficult for women to be authentically feminine in today’s world?
There is no question that the conversation around why it is important to embrace feminine energy is growing, but some women still find it challenging to show up as their true authentic selves. One of the reasons is that for so many generations, the world has been built on very masculine blueprints of success, power, and visibility, which has offered some benefits but has also provided a disconnect for women from being authentic. And these blueprints have led to expectations of behaviour that is successful in leadership.
Added to this is our conditioning, which can start very early in life when girls are taught to be kind and accommodating, and if they are not, they can become labelled as “too much”. So, they learn to play small, downplay their feminine energy, or dumb down to succeed in a system that rewards masculine energy. This then becomes very confusing when the messaging shifts in the workplace and suddenly they are asked to conform to a new narrative: be assertive, be strong, and speak up. This starts to feel like a no-win situation, suggesting that emotional intelligence, empathy, and intuition, all very strong feminine traits, are either undervalued or seen to be weak. And women then can be labelled as “the emotional one”, “too sensitive”, or “the bossy one”. It sometimes feels as if you can’t win.
We see this all the time on our Rise Empowered Women’s Development programme, women who come and tell us that they are criticised for wearing too much colour in their clothes and hair or for not being assertive enough. I remember being asked to coach a senior woman in an organisation and the brief that the manager gave me was that the woman was ‘technically brilliant’ but not assertive enough. During my first meeting with this incredible woman, I felt very confused as she came across as beautifully assertive. When I told her my confusion, she agreed that she didn’t understand the feedback. So, I asked her how her manager behaved, and she described the way her manager would shout at people, often becoming personally attacking and had even been known to throw his phone. So, he didn’t want her to become more assertive; he wanted her to behave like him. She exited the organisation not long after that!
Lack of role models
One of the big issues for women is that whilst many are rising to leadership roles, there is still an absence of visible, successful women who are really leading from a place of embodied femininity, so women remain confused. Do we need to sacrifice femininity for success? The narrative is changing, but progress is still sporadic and uneven and, in certain countries, even regressing.
But do systemic structures support or penalise femininity
There is no question that many workplaces still operate on structures that were designed by men for men. Let’s just take hormones for an example, an unavoidable part of being a woman. We are learning far more about our hormones and how, at different times of the month, we are more predisposed to work in certain ways. However, most workplaces are a long way from accommodating cyclical energy, and a competitive, performance-driven culture that values output over wellbeing does nothing to take into account the differences between men and women. If men had hormones, I have no doubt the working month would be organised very differently! And then there is the issue of flexible working. If a woman asks for flexible hours, there is a big fear that they will be perceived as less committed. Thankfully, there is now a growing army of fabulously supportive fathers who share childcare when they ask to leave early for childcare reasons. They are seen as the super-devoted dads, rather than the narrative around part-time working mothers.
So, what needs to happen in order to reclaim feminine energy authentically?
We need to build more supportive communities of women who are like-minded and celebrate feminine energy so that we can normalise these traits and encourage each other.
We need cultures that will talk more about feminine issues such as cyclical productivity, menopause and other issues affecting women
We need to celebrate and promote feminine role models who lead with emotional intelligence, creativity and intuition
We need to make the shift from dominance to influence, from command-and-control to collaboration
In the absence of internal role models, we need to celebrate external ones. My personal favourites are people such as Brene Brown and Jacinda Ardern. Very different in their style and projection but hugely effective in sending powerful messages.
We are not looking to take over the world: We just want balance
Ultimately, women are looking for integration, not flipping to a new extreme. It isn’t about just having more women in power; it is about celebrating different types of power. This ensures that everyone can maximise their potential and feel confident to express themselves in a natural and energised way. Masking and trying to conform is exhausting, but what if we were to simply spend our energy on improving systems and organisations? And the more we choose authenticity over adaptation, the more we are able to do this.
Ultimately, the journey to authentic feminine leadership is not about conforming to outdated models or flipping the script to a new extreme. It’s about integration, about allowing both masculine and feminine energies to coexist in balance and on our own terms.
And the more we embrace feminine energy as a superpower, the more we choose authenticity over adaptation, the more we will change the world not just for ourselves but for every woman who comes after us.
Read more from Gillian Jones-Williams
Gillian Jones-Williams, Emerge Development Consultancy
Gillian is the Managing Director of Emerge Development Consultancy, which she founded 28 years ago. She is a Master Executive Coach working with many CEOs and managing Directors globally. She is also an international speaker and in 2020 was named by f: Entrepreneur as one of the leading UK Female Entrepreneurs in the I also campaign. In 2023, she was named as Leader of the Year by the Women’s Business Club and has just been named as Businesswoman of the Decade in the Best Businesswomen awards.
Gillian founded the RISE Women’s Development Programme, which is delivered both in the UK and the Middle East, and Saudi and is her absolute passion.
She is also the co-author of How to Create a Coaching Culture, 50 Top Tools for Coaching, and the author of Locked Down but Not Out, which is a diary of the first 3 months of the pandemic to raise money for the bereaved families of the NHS workers who died during COVID-19.
Emerge specialise in Early Careers Programmes and creating the best environment for graduates and apprentices to maximise their potential. If you want to know more about this support of any of our other training and development solutions, please do contact us on 01329 820580 or via info@emergeuk.com.
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