As a marriage and family therapist who has spent decades working with clients in her private practice and through her media work, Dr. Jane Greer has become a nationally recognized expert and authority in love and relationship intimacy.
Dr. Jane Greer, Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, Radio Host
Can you begin by sharing the core philosophy behind your approach to marriage and family therapy?
My core philosophy is centered on what's best for the relationship. I work with couples to ensure each person is engaged, understanding, and respectful of the fact that there are no sides taken. It's about what each can do to strengthen their bond and enhance intimacy with their partner. Connecting with each person helps them feel supported so that they can see and learn what they can do to change in order to make the relationship better.
How do communication skills and content issues play into your therapy sessions?
I address communication on two levels. The first involves teaching effective listening—acknowledging and responding to what is being said rather than reacting to it. This means learning how to ask questions to really understand how their partner feels rather than getting defensive, explaining and justifying their behavior, or negating what they are saying.
The second level deals with the specific content that is causing conflict—issues like value clashes, financial disagreements, and in-law problems. It's crucial to not only hear but also respond constructively to these issues. Addressing these issues requires teaching problem-solving skills.
What are some common relationship challenges you see, and how do you guide couples through these?
Common challenges include navigating ego, power struggles, and differing needs within a relationship. I guide couples by emphasizing the importance of agreement, support, appreciation, and learning to express anger constructively. Often, relationship dynamics devolve into power struggles, which I help couples navigate more collaboratively learning how to prioritize the “we” of the relationship instead of the “me”.
You have a focus on betrayal and trust. What drew you to this area, and what advice do you offer to couples dealing with these issues?
I was drawn to betrayal and trust issues because of how deeply they impact relationships. My advice for couples is to work towards healing and rebuilding trust by understanding each other's feelings and working collaboratively towards resolution. I emphasize that there is no timeline on how long it can take to repair broken trust and that patience and commitment are the key to attaining it. The goal is to teach partners how to heal from betrayal and ultimately strengthen their relationship.
Can you discuss the role of communication in family therapy?
In family therapy, communication is key to fostering a sense of authenticity and openness. The goal is to make family members safe to express their true feelings and be heard and understood by each other. This will facilitate a reflective attitude that can lead to behavioral changes and improved relationships. The key is to help family members communicate their feelings without criticism, anger, blame, or attacking each other.
How has media engagement helped you spread awareness about mental health and relationship stability?
Media engagement has provided a platform for me to simplify complex therapy concepts into digestible, accessible parts, helping people understand that they can change, grow, and find happiness. It has allowed me to offer the tools that will unequivocally change their lives for the better. I've appeared on many TV shows discussing the complexities of relationships and mental health. For more insights and to see some of my media appearances, visit here. Through these opportunities, I've been able to bring psychological concepts to a wider audience, making the science of relationships more accessible and understandable to all.
Your work also involves dealing with grief and loss. How does your approach help individuals and families through these difficult times?
My approach is to help individuals connect with departed loved ones, providing comfort and proof that the love and energy of the deceased do not vanish. This can be profoundly healing and help people move through their grief with a sense of continued connection. Knowing that you can stay connected helps individuals heal personally and helps those I work with. In my book, "The Afterlife Connection: A Therapist Reveals How to Communicate with Departed Loved Ones," I share my own personal experiences and communications with my mother, in addition to numerous other examples, offering comfort and understanding to those dealing with loss.
What inspired you to become a therapist, particularly specializing in marriage and family therapy?
I've always been drawn to helping people improve their relationships. From a young age, I was the go-to person for relationship advice among my peers. I remember in middle school, all of my schoolmates asked me to write their break up letters! This natural inclination led me to pursue a career where I could make a significant impact on people's lives daily. The ability to change someone’s day positively continues to motivate and inspire me.
For those hesitant about therapy, what would you say are the benefits of seeking professional help for personal and relationship issues?
I truly believe it is the best thing someone can do for themselves. Professional help provides a supportive environment where individuals can explore their feelings and behaviors without judgment. It offers a unique space to gain insights and tools that can profoundly impact personal growth and relationship improvement. This support can empower individuals to make healthier choices and build stronger, more resilient relationships.
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