Struggling in Your Relationship? Rachelle Michaud Breaks Down the Biggest Mistakes Couples Make!
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 10
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 12
Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview
Love. Relationships. Couples Therapy. Sensuality. Communication. Sex. Rachelle works with couples to repair and renew their relationships. She also works with individuals on sexuality—addressing concerns such as sex drive, body image, shame, attraction, arousal, confidence, trauma, and pleasure—as well as with individuals seeking better self-regulation to feel happier and less stressed. Her approach is experiential, embodied, and somatic; it goes beyond just talking and homework.
Her expertise is the result of a lifelong passion for “body stuff,” including martial arts, world dance, theater arts, vocal work, mindfulness, embodiment and somatic arts, somatic sexology, and intimacy coordination, with a touch of tantra. A performer at heart and a professionally trained clinician, Rachelle seamlessly integrates both worlds to deliver transformative work in love, couples therapy, and sensuality. Originally from New England, she has worked in New York City, Paris, San Francisco, Belgium, and the Netherlands.
Can you tell us about your business and the services you provide?
I provide couples therapy (and also work with polyamorous “polycules”) online. Couples receives structured guidance from me to increase understanding, love, and affection in their relationships. I also conduct Individual therapy for people wanting 1:1 attention for a sexual issue they may be facing or for sexual confidence and recovery. As a psychotherapist, I can also provide support to people struggling with anxiety, depression, and trauma.
What led you to focus on relationship therapy, especially around intimacy and connection?
I always love this question. To be honest, I think I became fascinated by relationships because my parents were what would be called “minimizers” or “turtles” in Imago Therapy. They essentially were very quiet and introverted and would withdraw a lot. I became enlivened when I saw expressive and affectionate people in connection. I remember even watching Italian films as a young child, enthralled by all the affection I saw between parent and child and between lovers. I became interested in sexuality because I saw firsthand the amount of unwanted touch females receive when they are alone and also when sex is divorced from love. I became passionate about understanding and helping to support all spectrums, expressions, and identities in the field of sexuality. During undergraduate study, I had even chosen classes around topics such as the sexuality of vampires or how gender and sexual identities show up in film. Through graduate school and my first jobs as a therapist I was passionate about dyadic therapy and in 2022 I underwent PHD studies in clinical sexology and relationships.
What are your hopes for the future of your business, and are there any new areas you’d like to explore or grow into?
I have so, so many ideas of ways I want to expand my business in the future. I am expanding my knowledge base this year and hope to expand my business practices thereafter. I hope to expand my services to things like:
*Retreats in Paris for couples
*Somatic/embodiment movement groups for women (around touch and intimacy)
*Guiding couples through intimate touch
*Self-touch and pleasure groups for singles
*Erotic awakening groups for women
*Sexuality and relationships through film classes (for therapists, sex coaches, and intimacy director-coordinators)
*Female expression groups (dress, dance, and photo) groups
*Sensual body coaching for singers & actors
*Intimacy coordination/coaching: for films, theater and photography
*Mom to Vixen transformation groups
*Somatic sexology (hands-on or guiding partners to do)
*Podcast
*YouTube or TikTok channel
*Massage for couples coaching
*Female empowerment groups (from BDSM and kink culture)
*From body shame to body love groups for women
*Escaping the male gaze in film and life classes
*Transforming center-fold obsession and objectification (for men)
What do you often see as the biggest struggles couples face when it comes to physical closeness, and how do you help them with that?
When there are issues with sexuality in the relationship, there is often an enormous amount of tension built up in the relationship. One partner feels demanding and rejected, and the other partner feels indifferent and annoyed. There is a lot of work to do around helping the withdrawn partner not feel like a “piece of meat” and gentle ways to slow down the sexually pursuing partner to pause more, attune more, and try other approaches. Sometimes, if there is sexual abuse, infidelity, or hormonal changes, these can also further compound the tension/difference in the couple. Additionally, sometimes, there is one partner who enjoys general (non-sexual) affection a lot more than the other.
What are some of the ways you help couples improve their intimacy and work through challenges?
The foundation starts with really hearing each other (and not what you “think” your partner said, but what they actually said) and healing any past wounds (i.e. infidelity and previous harsh interactions). The next phase would be slowly adding attunement and affection practice during the session while having the couple complete practice assignments outside of the session, such as increasing the emotional bids for connection at home. Next, we try different interventions and enactments around initiating intimacy, we expand the definition of what sex is for them, and we encourage safe feedback about turnoffs and turn-ons. We also explore different types of touch, and different styles of lovemaking (or erotic blueprints) and explore what each person enjoys in terms of erotica (arousal-increasing media). I also guide them through explorations around pleasure, erotic energy, and sharing eroticism with their partner. For some couples, we even break down kissing, embracing, and handholding (if those areas need support). This is just a taste of all the things we do in sessions.
How has your work changed over time, and what are some key things you’ve learned from your clients?
Because I studied and was supervised through various couples therapy models, I had the opportunity to try out many different approaches to see what helped couples most. Over time, I got better and better, more adaptable and my interventions became more and more crafted to what each couple needs most. During the last fifteen months, I started adding touch and highlighting “little moments of love” during my sessions with couples. I also learned more about how to help couples break up (if they decide to) with as much peace as possible. This year I am again expanding my knowledge in the field of sex and intimacy and that will deepen what I can offer to clients.
What I have learned from my clients is that many people have no idea that how they were treated as children greatly informs who they choose as a partner. We are all looking to heal our disowned parts, but this is a very subconscious and deep process. I also learned that having love at the beginning of a relationship is a great factor in finding it again and that I can have a big influence in that process.
For more info, follow Rachelle on LinkedIn and get in touch through the following platforms: HelloAlma, Headway, and Psychology Today.
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