Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident.
In the workplace, you probably leverage a wide range of skills to excel in your role, such as time management, planning, and effective communication. At work, you may feel competent, confident, and in charge, but when you get home, you might feel like an idiot or a failure. These feelings of inadequacy can lead to frustration and anger between both partners in the relationship, and the more resentment builds up, the harder it is to enjoy being around one another.
So what if you could apply those same work skills and tools to enhance your personal life?
Imagine using your ability to prioritize tasks or negotiate with finesse to create a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your partner. In this guide, we'll explore how the tools you already use at work can help you build a more satisfying and harmonious personal life.
Let’s explore the skills and tools you may already have that make you so great at your job and that you can also use to be a successful partner at home
Shared calendar
This is one of the best ways to simplify life and reduce arguments. Create a shared calendar that both you and your partner can add to. Schedule everything from the exciting to the mundane. This includes: trash pickup, date night, children’s events, important dates such as holidays or anniversaries, and time needed for self-care. It’s important for both of you to put “me” time on this calendar because then you’ll be able to show your partner respect by allowing them to have their own self-care time. You’ll know when it’s time for you to cook dinner or pick up the kids because that is your partner’s free time, and you are cognizant of that.
Use shared spreadsheets
Shared spreadsheets are useful for tracking both the things you want more of and the things you could do without. Track things such as how much money you each spend on frivolous things, date nights, each time you have sex or every fight. Truly anything in the household that you want to keep a closer eye on. If your spouse thinks you drink too much, start keeping track of how much you drink. If you see their family too much, keep a record. The main goal of this is to track the behavior, but don’t use it as a gotcha technique. This is done out of love with the shared goal of wanting a healthier relationship. On each item you are tracking, consider including a column or adding comments to record both of your emotions surrounding the events. This way you can also track every time you’ve hurt each other or felt particularly loved.
Schedule 'meetings'
Maybe one or both of you have a very hectic schedule and don’t see each other as much as you’d like. You can schedule more than just big date nights. Try scheduling short burst of time together throughout the day, such as a 10-minute walk, coffee in the morning, or a 5-minute video call during the day. It doesn’t have to be much, but it will show your partner that they are a priority.
Use your timer for better communication
Timers are a great tool for busy people and procrastinators alike. Set a timer for a few times a day to remind you to text, call, or email your partner. The timer goes off, you send a hello or a heart emoji, and you’re done. It’s so easy to make your partner feel special with this technique.
Come prepared
You don’t show up to work under-prepared (most days), so why show up like a slacker for your relationship? By now you know some stuff about your partner; use that knowledge to make your relationship and life easier. What is their favorite food, movie, drink, or place to go? Include that in your planning, and your partner will feel seen. Does your partner mention someone at work who bugs them? Ask about the person occasionally. Does your partner seem particularly tired on Friday nights? Tell them you’ve noticed that and you want to support them by cooking dinner on Fridays. Does your partner like to have pastries on the weekend? Stop by the bakery on Friday. Paying attention to the things your partner likes and dislikes goes a long way to having a happy relationship
Dress for the job
We all get comfortable in long-term relationships, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up on the way we look entirely. Make an effort to look good for your partner. Shower, get haircuts, dress in ways your partner likes, or at least just dress better than being in your pajamas all weekend. Elevate who you want to show up as in your relationship and ask your partner to do the same.
Treat the job with respect
If you went to work and acted like a jerk to your coworkers, were always late, didn’t finish your projects on time, and talked back to your boss, you’d be pretty unpopular in the workplace. Your partner has chosen you, loves you, and wants to be in this relationship with you, so show up and do your part respectfully
Remember to praise
Everyone loves to feel like they are doing a good job, so praise your partner for all of the ways they are crushing it in your relationship.
Take the initiative
Want to get ahead? Take the initiative. Nobody wants to feel like they are always having to be in charge and manage everything. There is so much to do every day, and most people feel like they don’t have enough time. What can you take the initiative on and do before your partner has to ask? Look around and identify the top three things you feel “nagged” about. THOSE are the things you take the initiative on. Take out the trash, pick up the laundry, or feed the dogs all BEFORE your partner has to ask. This technique will be life-changing for both of you. Being in a happy relationship takes effort and consistency from both partners, but it doesn’t need to be difficult. Using the same skills and tools that help you excel at work will make it easier to create a fulfilling and successful relationship.
If you're interested in working with Lark to create healthy, fulfilling relationships while increasing your emotional intelligence and confidence, reach out today for a free consultation and start your journey toward stronger connections and a more fulfilling life.
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Lark Ericson, Relationship & Confidence Coach
Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident. Having once avoided socializing due to her own fear of rejection, Lark learned to embrace her "weirdness" and thrive in social settings, achieving success in both love and business. Now known for her confidence and ability to easily initiate conversations, Lark wants to teach others how to ignite their own social superpowers.
