Emily Najemy is an aspiring thought leader in the realm of conscious parenting, and challenges consumers to explore and discuss the systems and institutions that strongly call for corrective parenting re-education. As the owner of Soft Eyes Intentional Parenting, Najemy pushes forward to bring about that corrective re-education to consumers through parent coaching services and providing access to proper resources and support to parents and childhood professionals alike. Her goal is to aid in the cultivation of sustainable future generations of humans.
Emily Najemy. Parent Coach
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
Hi! My name is Em, and I’m from a small, rural town in Massachusetts, USA. I have two parents, 6 siblings (including a twin!), several nieces and nephews, and wonderful friends who make up my family. Like any other family, we are whole in some places, and learning to heal in others. As a family full of neurodivergent humans, there is never a dull moment during holidays and birthdays. Sometimes this is to our disadvantage, and mostly, it is our superpower as we all have so much to offer, share with, and teach each other.
Some hobbies I enjoy are anime shows (if you know, you know), caring for my houseplants, gardening, building things, and learning new things as much as I can. I am extremely passionate about creating a sustainable world as humans and for humans through environmentalism, and of course, conscious parenting practices. The intricacies and nuances of interpersonal relationships are something I have a lot of interest in, and am always striving to learn more about in order to have a more complete understanding of who, how, and why we are the people we were, are, and will become!
What inspired you to start Soft Eyes Intentional Parenting, and what is the primary mission or goal of your business?
My inspiration to start Soft Eyes Intentional Parenting really sourced from my experiences as a daycare teacher and nannying over the years. While working in childcare facilities (daycares, nursery schools, preschools, etc.), I developed a deep sense of not just dissatisfaction, but disappointment. I have seen many childcare professionals treating children as lesser than, simply due to their age and stage of development. I have seen them inadvertently and intentionally invalidating children. I attribute this heavily to adults holding children to inappropriate expectations, ones that are clearly unrealistic and unachievable for where the child is developmentally. And, I have seen firsthand the damage this causes children. To not be seen, heard, feel soothed or comforted, or even emotionally safe with the adults responsible for their caregiving is what I have seen these children face. The continued mistreatment of children in seemingly mild ways still has huge implications for children’s mental and emotional health. It has resulted in distrust, anger, shame, and low self-esteem in even the bubbliest children. It reflects to the child that they are not worthy of an adult's understanding, respect, and love, and they lose the desire to make any bids for connection with their caregiver(s). Unfortunately, this is also something I have seen parents do at home. What I have witnessed are these adults' traumas, insecurities, and generational curses being handed directly to children, without pause and reflection.
Although this is something I feel is deeply unjust, I have also developed a strong sense of compassion for these parents, who are more than likely parenting and caring the only way they know how: the way they were taught. My dream is for our world to consist of humans who are raised sustainably, and by this I mean raised feeling seen, soothed, secure, and safe with their caregivers, raised by adults who validate, acknowledge, and hold space for all that a child is, where the relationship with a child is prioritized over their behavior. I wish for children to be raised in a way that is void of completely avoidable traumas. So, in order for me to actualize this goal for children, I decided the right place to start is helping parents, childcare professionals, and caregivers become more connected with and aware of their own inner world, behavior, and mindsets. By doing this, we can heighten our level of consciousness around child rearing, heal from our own traumas, and be the anchor for which our children can harbor to with consistency, predictability, intentionality, and true empathy. This increases our feelings of love and connectedness for our children, and in turn evolves into more patience, compassion, understanding, and resilience, something we all desperately need to not just survive but to thrive in this world. It is my intention to do all that I can to take these ideologies as high up as I can.
How do you ensure that the content and resources provided on your website are evidence-based and aligned with best practices in parenting and child development?
The resources and content available on my website are sources from organizations that teach and utilize the latest, science-based research on brain systems and structures, attachment, the nervous system, and holistic child development. Almost all of my own practices and teachings are derived from the practices and teachings of Dr. Daniel Siegel (interpersonal neurobiology), Bessel van der Kolk (extensive trauma-informed care), Stephen Porges (poly-vagal theory), and Kiva Schuler, a conscious parenting leader. This is only to name a few of the many living pioneers that are currently bringing about massive change and education to the world in our time of need. It is also very personally important that I always continue to learn and evolve as we discover new information, insights, and data on the best practices of parenting and human interaction in general. Today we may be at the top of our game, but tomorrow may point us in another direction, and I am here to encourage others to ride the wave of our ever-evolving reality the effective navigation of parenting and interpersonal relationships.
Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far.
Although I have more aspirations than I can count, one of the greatest career achievements I’ve accomplished thus far is developing the capacity to practice exactly what I am preaching. This may not appear as a huge success to some, however, to me, this is a crucial accomplishment. And, seeing the results of this accomplishment was more than rewarding, to say the least. My experiences of fully adopting and effectively executing conscious, empowered, and intentional parenting practices brought in a wealth of love, connection, patience, fun, and empathy to the relationships I held with the children I cared for. They began making more bids for connection where they may not have previously, and fortunately, I saw explosions and lashing-out behaviors dwindling away. They became more affectionate with their peers and developed the desire to soothe their friends when upset. And because their emotional and belonging needs were being met, they had more capacity not only for learning and play compared to before but also more capacity to tend to their peers’ needs. Most of the children also showed grand improvements in their mood and retention of information. Classroom life with 9 toddlers suddenly transformed from constantly preventing toddler-level conflict, hits, and bites, to an environment where they could actually enjoy each other's presence and effectively navigate their teacher and peer relationships. Not only did all of the children listen better to their teachers, but they even developed a willingness to do so. Their behaviors of reaching out for connection and comfort in moments of distress, and their natural inclination to listen and please me communicated to me that they trusted me as a figure with whom they could feel emotionally safe with, and could get their needs of comfort, support, empathy and respect met. Their behavior with their peers communicated to me that the children were happier and developing empathy for one another. This is one of the most beautiful achievements I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing and attaining.
