Anne is the Founder of Anne Hellgren Coaching, a Relationship Expert, Certified Coach, Board Member & Podcast Host. She helps people live fulfilled, successful, and joyful lives through their relationship with themselves and others.
Her expertise has helped her clients to gain the Confidence, Clarity, Communication, Connections, and Mindset that have changed their relationships and many other areas of their lives. Her Podcast 'The Love You Want – It starts with you', has a global audience and is ranked as one of the most shared podcasts globally by Spotify.
Anne works with her clients on a deep level because she has experienced most of what she helps others through. Her own life experiences of past bad, abusive, and toxic relationships, as well as a contentious divorce, provide a level of understanding and empathy that is much valued by those she helps. She has combined her life experiences with her qualifications, that is, an MSc in Occupational & Organisational Psychology, a BSc in Counselling Psychology, NLP, and Time-Line Therapy practices, amongst other qualifications, to create very impactful and empowering coaching programs. Being able to create bespoke programs for her client's exact needs is one of her many areas of expertise.
Anne Hellgren, Founder, Relationship Coach, Podcast Host
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
I was born in Kenya and raised there until I was 5 years old. My father was then posted to work as the Kenyan Ambassador in Ethiopia, where we lived for 3 years. Given his role, and the lack of security in the country at the time, we lived a very guarded and sheltered life. Seeing security staff with machine guns and bomb scanning equipment everyday as we left and entered our compound. My family couldn’t leave the compounds without security or our own driver. I think this kind of experience gave me a very different view of Ethiopia – one that was much more limiting than reality.
Years later, my dad’s position took us to Sweden where he held the same position as the Kenyan Ambassador. While in Sweden, my parents finally separated after a contentious marriage with its share of several ups and downs. After several years of living in Sweden and my parents' separations, we moved back to Kenya. My mother made the very difficult decision to make a life for herself in Sweden and decided to stay there. Though I didn’t really understand then, I later came to see it was a selfless act made by the love of a mother. A mother who knew that staying there would be better for children in the long run.
Several years later, I joined a boarding school at 12 years old. It wasn’t a choice I wanted but my mother felt it was the best and safest option for me given the daily riots and protests against the Kenyan government that occurred near my school in the city center of Nairobi.
Boarding school turned out to be a blessing for my education and discipline. Despite the beatings we got from the teachers. I recall being asked to get a branch from a tree to be beaten with. Naturally, I picked a small one, and quickly learnt my mistake in doing so. I got beaten with it until it broke and then was told to go get a “proper” one. Was beaten with that one too. Thankfully, this is a thing of the past – legally anyway.
After boarding school, I went back to Sweden with my brother to be with my mum, sister and stepdad. I worked from 15 years old while in high school. I worked in McDonalds and a Japanese restaurant after classes and on weekends. During the summer, I would pick up summer jobs that ranged from a school janitor, nursery assistant and care home assistant and more. One of the toughest summer gigs was picking strawberries under the burning sun in endless countryside strawberry fields. In hindsight, the payment wasn’t far off free labor.
At 19 years I moved to London to do a BSc in Counselling Psychology. I then did an MSc in Occupational and Organizational Psychology before starting in the corporate world. I did that for 14 years in various roles, industries and sectors. When I got married and had my first born, I decided it was time to relook at what I wanted to do with my life. Travelling across Europe, the Middle East with a small child wasn’t want I wanted. I got certified as an internationally Accredited Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Time Line Therapist and started my own Life Coaching practice in Central London.
Your business Anne Hellgren Coaching focuses on empowering people in their relationship. How did it start? Can you tell us a little bit about it?
I had been running my Life Coaching business for a couple of years by the time my second born came. When he was 4 months old and my daughter was 4 years old, I separated from my ex-husband. The end of the relationship wasn’t a surprise to either of us as we had both been unhappy for a long time. But like most marriages or relationships that share children, walking away from the marriage made it hard. Also, my cultural and religious programming influenced my reluctance to get a divorce. Not to mention the stigma of what it meant to be a single mum in my culture.
During the remainder of my maternity leave, I used this time to work on my emotional and mental health as much as possible. Also, in all honesty, I was afraid of falling into postnatal depression if I didn’t keep myself busy enough to “ignore” the disappointment, hurt, anger and shame I was experiencing.
I attended every seminar, workshop, retreat and read all the books, listened to all the audibles, got counselling – you name it, I was involved! This turned out to be a blessing in what originally felt like one of my biggest failures.
I learned that I had a pattern of dysfunctional dating caused by my childhood programming. Some of the norms that society, culture, religion and parental upbringing had programmed me with didn’t serve me at all. In fact, I had to reprogram myself if I was ever going to stop going from one dysfunctional relationship to another. Or keep staying in toxic environments longer than I should.
The true blessing also came from knowing that if I could go through abusive and toxic relationships and still come out so much stronger, I needed to help others do the same. I wanted others to know that living unhappily in a relationship because of fear, shame, guilt, programming etc. was not the life they were created to live. And so, my Relationship coaching practice that focused on empowering people in their relationship was born.
What kind of audience does Anne Hellgren Coaching work with?
Typically, I work with 2 different groups of people. Firstly, those who are single and would like to find a serious relationship and perhaps address why they have struggled to successfully do so thus far. They might or might not be aware of why they aren’t where they would like to be. Some know they have some childhood trauma, programming, or limiting beliefs they need to address. While others don’t have this awareness yet but know that they need to change something if they are going to get the results in their relationships that they want. Others may come to me because they understand that they need to work on their self-worth, self-awareness, communication, connection and/or their mindset before they can attract and maintain the kind of relationship they want and need.
The second group is people who are already in a relationship and are experiencing problems within it. The issues vary vastly. Sometimes we work to fix the issues, and sometimes we work together to help through the process of separation or divorce. Whatever the case, my client will get the clarity they need to make the best decisions for their highest self.
What is your work inspired by?
My work is inspired by the need to help people realize they deserve a life of happiness, genuine love, and authenticity. My life experiences have shown me time and again where I have not shown up as my authentic self, or consistently suppressed my values, I have been hurt, failed, and worse. This is not to say that being authentic always grants you freedom from failure or hurt, for these things are part of the human experience. However, isn’t it better to have failed or been hurt while being your true version rather than one you didn’t even want to be?
It is my wish to see people love and value themselves enough that they feel empowered in their true selves. My mission is to get people empowered in who they are unapologetically. I believe it’s a great start to living a happier life, as only then can we have the self-compassion to change what we recognize as areas for growth and improvement within us. Therefore, creating better relationships with those around us, whether it’s a romantic relationship or not.
What makes you and your work stand out from other relationship coaches and experts?
While my BSc in Counselling Psychology, an MSc in Occupational and Organizational Psychology, being an internationally Accredited Coach, and all my other educational merits are great – I think my life experiences really make me stand out. I have lived through what I help my clients get through. I have faced the same issues while single and looking for a lasting relationship. I have been in their shoes when they are experiencing dysfunctional, toxic and unhappy relationships and marriage. Having this first hand experience offers me deeper insights into their situation from a physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual perspective. This adds immense value to our sessions and their growth.
I also believe that my values of compassion, love, patience, growth and being non judgmental help my clients reach their goals and exceed them. My coaching is about fixing your relationship – with yourself first! That way, you grow and empower yourself to build and thrive in all the relationships you desire! The knock on effects go on to benefit your careers, businesses, parenting, friendships and so on.
Share with us what you think is essential to a successful and happy life?
I am a person of Christian faith, so firstly, I would say my relationship with God. Having a spiritual practice that is fulfilling for my soul, even in the tough times, has been a pillar of my success and happiness.
Secondly, I would add having self-awareness (identity) of who I really am and knowing the differences between my wants and needs – and not negotiating on my needs.
Thirdly, having a sense of unshakable self-worth – the kind that doesn’t wither away because of life’s trials and adversities.
Last but not least – having forgiveness towards others and yourself. Resentment and anger feed the soul poison, and happiness and true success cannot live in a toxic environment.
So that said, I believe a happy and successful life is cultivated through authenticity, love, a peaceful mindset and a belief in our ability for continuous growth.
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