Written by: Tricia Dycka, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Empaths, you love your biz but your parent, client, a friend is a tyrant or energy vampire.
They demand your attention, drain your energy and dictate your time. You are accommodating towards everyone but yourself.
Your client demands your time and energy after you closed for the weekend. Expectations of you taking care of their desired needs whenever the mood strikes them. This person is soggy overcooked pasta. Yet, you still feel the need to make them happy and do what they need. You are teaching them how to treat you by allowing your boundaries to crumble.
Your parent expects you to say yes to whatever demands they have on your time. Pick them up, take them out, handle any situation they are unwilling to deal with.
Your friend does not take you seriously because you work from home and believes you can get up and leave to hang out with them at any time. To placate them, you keep saying yes.
Your partner is demanding of your time and energy to be present with them because they love you. So, the guilt comes in. You beat yourself up for not being able to spend as much quality time with your partner.
What is happening is you had become an empty container filled with anxiety from the overwhelm you had picked up during the day and saying yes when you knew deep down you really wanted to say hell no.
Some of these demands can feel like unwelcome obligations done out of a sense of duty or guilt. Yet you find you are angry for saying YES to one more request on your time.
You’re growing your biz, and your boundaries are not high on your list to do. People are walking all over the little you do have.
You wonder when did I become a doormat?
You wonder why do I feel so drained at the end of the day?
You don’t have the chutzpah, the energy, enthusiasm to get anything done. All the fun stuff that you were excited to do just got put on the back burner waiting for another night. That new book you wanted to start, paint night with friends, well all that is put on hold.
Start to say yes to yourself. Saying yes is a form of self-care.
Ask yourself these questions to start to build your boundaries, and always remember they will constantly be evolving except for a few non-negotiables. Your non-negotiable is something you are absolutely unwilling to tolerate.
How much time during the day is left to do you? Some questions to think about.
Can you end your day earlier?
Can you raise your rates and have fewer clients or maybe create a group?
Do you do what makes you happy? Some questions to think about.
Do you want to actually create something new?
Be artistic, be creative or maybe just have some downtime for total PEACE & QUIET?
Start to say NO to other’s demands. Some questions to think about.
Ask yourself does this make me feel good?
Is this something I truly want to accomplish?
Is this behavior something that I am tolerating and know deep down I am being treated with disrespect?
Is it always easy saying NO? Hell no, sometimes you can feel terrible like you are letting someone down or you are holding yourself. You are the notorious people pleaser, always putting others before yourself.
You are afraid to say NO because you fear you will lose friends and clients.
By not saying NO, they will continue to be tyrants demanding your attention, depleting your time and energy, along with sucking the life outta ya, leaving you like a deflated birthday balloon without much left for anyone else or yourself.
Now it is time to put yourself first.
Time to create new beliefs and self-care rituals.
Time between client calls. At least 15-30 minutes. Go outside and be in nature to relax your energy.
Have clarity around the time you want to close your biz and switch over to your time to be with friends and family. Go to that paint night, or out to dinner, or even learn to make a new meal at your house. Whatever floats your boat do it.
Find out where you feel bad about saying no. You know, usually, your stomach turns into knots. Let’s reframe it with a new belief. How do you want to feel, and what is your ultimate end goal?
If it doesn’t make you feel alive, it is time to rethink it and stop letting others dictate where your time and energy go.
Boundaries are so important. They truly show how you honor yourself as a person. They show people how to treat you. It takes back your power from over-giving your time and energy and shines it on exactly how you want your life to look.
Tricia Dycka, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tricia is an intuitive empath coach, Reiki Master, bestselling author, teacher, & speaker. Her mission is to help other empath coaches and healers go from emotional overwhelm to learning how to manage their energy to be more visible and enjoy inner peace. Tricia has created quick and easy tools so people can recognize their energy and quickly clear anything they pick up that is not theirs.
